“Ota, I have to be honest with you now.”
Ota and his girlfriend, Shou, were at the park where Ota confessed his love to Shou. It was a cold and windy winter night, and Ota could sense a heavy atmosphere from his girlfriend’s serious tone and expression.
“What is it…Shou?” Ota asked with a brief pause of nervousness.
“I don’t think this relationship won’t be good for both of us anymore. Especially for you.”
Ota had heard that clearly. He didn’t want to make Shou repeat herself. Somewhere inside him, he knew that this was bound to happen.
Now, he wanted to confirm if her reason for asking a breakup was the same as his guess.
“Why…Why do you want to break up, Shou?” Ota asked again, still with a brief pause of nervousness.
“It’s about your habits, Ota,” Shou said, now looking straight into Ota’s eyes. “To be more specific, a certain secret habit of yours…It shows that you’re not right for me.”
“Just as I thought…” Ota thought to himself with a bittersweet smile. “I’m happy that she’s honest with me.”
“Go on, Shou…” Ota meekly told his girlfriend.
“I found one of your photos of me in the living room of your house. It smelled really strange. I was scared that you may have been doing something that I hated so much, I decided to enter your room without your permission…and…I’m sorry…”
“She doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, huh…” Ota thought to himself again, and he now began to look down as he smiled in silence, but immediately stopped himself and decided to look at her straight in the eye .
“No, don’t stop yourself, Shou,” Ota said, ready to accept Shou’s honesty. That was one thing that he liked about Shou. She was honest, and she was even blunt with her words when she felt the need to do so. Shou had never known about Ota’s secret habits up until now, and her hesitation was no surprise for Ota.
“Alright then, Ota…” Shou said, and then she made her expression and tone even more serious. “I found your stash of photos of me, hidden along with photos of your favorite 2-D girls. It was a pile of photos which had the ugly stench of your perverted juices. I couldn’t believe it. We’re you really doing…that…to the photos?”
It was a question that pierced Ota, but he would rather be an honest person, so he answered:
“Yes. I was doing…that…to the photos. And to other things, like my stuffed toys with photos, and my figurines on the display cases.”
Upon hearing Ota’s answer, Shou’s expression turned sour. A few seconds later, tears began to stream out of her eyes, and then…
It was a surprise, yes, but Ota didn’t retaliate, nor did she get angry at Shou. He took her slap calmly, as he knew that Shou hated perverted men like him.
As for Shou, she was crying, but she took a deep breath and said:
“Ota…do you know why I hate perverted men like you?”
Ota knew…but he wanted to learn his lesson by listening to her explanation again.
“Tell me. Tell me again, Shou. I want to learn my lesson…” Ota said, feeling tears come out of his eyes as guilt started to build up inside him.
Shou looked at Ota with an angry expression, but then she took a deep breath again, and slowly told him:
“Women are not toys for a man’s pleasure, Ota. I don’t think love is all about sex. To be honest, I dislike sex being treated as some form of entertainment. Society can go say that they hate me, but sex is for procreation, and it’s for married people only, too. Treating the opposite sex as if they were your tools for the fulfillment of your sexual lust…it’s sick…and I hate it. Even if you’ve been nice to me, and even if you’re a funny fanboy, the fact that you look at me like that, and the fact that you look at fictional women like that…I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t want to live with the fear that my boyfriend could push me down and take advantage of me the moment we’re all alone, just because he let his own lust take over his reasoning. Sexual desire…that’s not love. It’s only a chemical reaction going on in your brain. Caring for someone without expecting anything in return…Dedicating yourself to her for the rest of your life…Facing the challenges of life together…If you want to have a good romantic relationship, and then eventually get married, then you better be ready to do those things, because that’s what you really need to do, if you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with me, Ota? Do you really love me, Ota?”
As tears streamed out of Ota’s eyes, he could feel something crumbling inside him. He did love Shou, but now, he started doubting that. “I feel like I’ve been looking at her like she was a handsome lady for me to drool on,” Ota thought to himself. “I have love for her…but every time I see her…I focus on her body…I guess I’ve let myself be taken over by my lust…I love her…but I guess I confused lust with love.”
“I guess…I need to deal with these sexual issues of mine, first, Shou,” Ota said with a teary smile. “It’s alright. I’m okay with breaking up with you.”
“Then…” Shou said, turning her back to Ota, “I hope you’ll become better, and I hope that…you’ll find someone better than this annoying and blunt me.’
“Thanks…” Ota replied. “I also hope you’ll find someone better than this disgusting and perverted me.”
After Ota’s reply, the broken-up couple stood still in the cold and windy park.
“I’ll be going now, Shou,” Ota said as he started to turn around. “Goodbye…Shou.”
As Ota started to leave…
“Yes, Shou?” Ota asked, turning around to face Shou again.
“I…If we can’t find someone better than each other…maybe we can get back together again, Ota?” Shou said while trying to smile.
“Sure, Shou. Let’s improve ourselves…and maybe…we can get back together. I had such fun times…being the boyfriend of a very blunt and honest girl.”
Shou’s face brightened at Ota’s response.
“Me too…I had fun times…being the girlfriend of a very weird and artistic boy.”
“Goodbye then, Shou.”
And so, the two turned around, leaving to improve themselves.