Prepare For A Happy Death

Author’s Note: Rappelling was a freaking scary but freaking worthwhile experience for the me who tried doing it for the first time.


I don’t know how I got into this situation. I was totally drunk at first, but suddenly…I felt like my head got hit hard, and then…

“Have you ever thought about the feeling of being so close to death before?”

I felt something hard and cold sticking really close to the side of my head. Whoever was behind me was really big, really deep-voiced, and really dangerous.

And from what my gradually clearing vision could tell me, we seemed to be in a really dark alley. If I could only look to the side…

“There’s no one nearby right now, seeing us here in this dark alley will be tough for anyone outside this place, and you do know that I can shoot you when I want to in this position, right?”

All thoughts about making slight movements and trying to escape were immediately pushed down into the depths of my mind. Forgetting about escaping also became a better idea when I realized that my hostage-taker put his arm in front of me and kept me stuck close to him.

My mouth found it hard to let my thoughts out, but my thoughts were centered on one thing now.

I’m gonna die.

And then thinking about death lead me to thinking about other things. I think I was out drowning my sorrows…but why? I don’t know why I did that, but anyway…I don’t want to die right now. I want to go home safely, fulfill all those dreams that I built ever since childhood, but will this guy with a gun ever let me go? Why am I here? What did I do to deserve this?

“I’m sure that you’re pretty desperate to live right now,” my hostage-taker suddenly said. “Don’t worry, though. I won’t kill you.”

“Don’t worry,” he says. Isn’t that how it goes before the hostage dies? I don’t worry, then I get killed. Fuck you. Fuck you. I hope you die in despair for crushing my dreams. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

“Really, I won’t kill you,” he calmly says. He’s definitely lying. “Anyway, have you ever laughed at a person because they piss their pants when they face something seemingly easy for you but actually dangerous for them?”

“W-wh…Why s-should I-I…a-answer that…?” was what my mouth managed to say in reply. No, I’m definitely gonna die, so what good will it give me if I don’t answer? “O-on…s-second t-th-thought…Y-y-yeah…I…I have…”

“Then how does it feel now…being in the shoes of those who you laughed at?”

I bet that he’s grinning and laughing under that calm voice. I bet he’s getting really turned on by this. “I-I-It’s…horrible…scary…I’m gonna die…but I don’t wanna die…”

“Is that so…? Well then…now’s not your time.”

“Now’s not the time?” What is he talking about? Is he from the mafia or some gang? Am I gonna get assassinated?

“Unless…” he continued, “You want now to be your time?”

OF COURSE I DON’T WANT NOW TO BE MY TIME! “N-n-n-no…I want…I WANT TO LIVE!”

“Hmm…I can see your will to live more clearly now. Alright. Just remember that you can die anytime, anywhere.”

And then I  felt the gun taken away from my head, and then I got thrown into a pile of something…ew, garbage…

But wait, my hostage-taker is…

“…”

…gone. No sound of footsteps, too.

And speaking of that man’s presence, I don’t think they smelled like anything either. I could feel him holding me, but there was no smell.

“What the hell just happened…?”

Whoever that man was…he probably wasn’t human…or was that experience actually real? Maybe I just felt that because of my drunkenness…

Ah, whatever. Anyway, looks like I’ll have to remember to not go drunk again…and remember to not step into dark alleys, especially this one.

After making a promise to myself, I stood up from the pile of garbage. To my left was a sidewalk illuminated by a street light.

“Sweet, sweet light. Thank God for streetlights.”

And I began walking back to my apartment.

I didn’t meet any dangers in my trip back to my apartment, but surely, in the future…even if I don’t want to see it again…I’ll be encountering danger…and death.

I don’t want to remember that experience…but what if that happens to me again?

“Just remember that you can die anytime, anywhere.”

Looks like I’ll have to prepare to die happily.

“Shit, I really feel like throwing up right now…”

And vomit stuff into the toilet.

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