You know, I’m starting to think that crying is like farting. The fart that I just blew out of my butt-biter-bitten butt right before writing this got me thinking about that. I mean, look, you got some unnecessary gas somewhere in your digestive system, and as a part of the health maintenance system of the body, that stuff has got to go. So, that gas gets kicked out in one of three different ways: silent but deadly, loud and proud, or wet and wild. Ah, I remember the day when a certain high school homeroom teacher of mine introduced the three kinds of farts to the class…I think I laughed there…or maybe I didn’t ’cause I had a thick metal stick up my butt…

Oh wait, I’m flying away. I was gonna talk about crying being like farting. Oh, and I feel like that fart that I mentioned in the first paragraph was kinda wet an–TOO MUCH INFORMATION, YOU CRAZY BEAR! GET BACK TO THE TOPIC! Okay, okay, back to the topic, back to the topic, sorry…

Okay, crying is like farting. How? Let’s think about it.

First, crying and farting are usually considered stupid, annoying, and disgusting by people, especially if done inappropriately. Sometimes, they’re a big source of laughs. Crowds these days will usually stay away from you like you’re a serial killer or the plague when they smell your stink, hear your explosion, and/or see your stains. A person usually gets more flak when they fart, though, but hey, I think a person being caught crying usually gets the crying person around as much insults as one gets when they’re caught farting, ’cause it seems like a lot of people these days think that crying is a sign of weakness and that weakness is bad and makes a person worthless. If that’s how crying and farting are taken these days, then I’d like to say that it’s a sad reality. Why? Here’s the second reason behind crying being like farting:

Farting and crying work to defend the body. Without farting, you’re gonna get poisoned by the gases that pile up in your digestive system. Well, I guess that’s how it works, but hey, I think farting isn’t there for nothing! If the gases don’t go out of your body, where else will it stay but inside your system? What should the gases do but have a party in the digestive tract, where they will exert their strong pressure and scatter their chemicals? As for crying, the tears are meant to keep your eyes clean, and if humans do not have the ability to secrete tears, then humanity will become blind very quickly. Crying is usually done when a person feels a strong emotion–usually sadness, sometimes anger, rarely happiness. Let’s focus on the “letting sadness and anger out” aspect of crying. Have you ever felt really sad and/or angry that you wanted to cry, but you keep yourself from crying because you’ll get worse problems if you do so? I bet that you’ll feel even worse when you try not to let your sadness and/or anger out via crying. With that, I’ll talk about another thing that makes crying and farting similar.

Farting and crying are things that are hard to stop, especially when they need to do their work. They are things where they’ll win more often than lose in a battle of wills, and when their will does lose against your will, your health gets wrecked and your appointment with a worker from Death Central gets moved to an earlier schedule. How will preventing those two things wreck you? Well, I’ve talked about that in the previous paragraph.

Oh, and one more thing that makes crying and farting similar. They can be done without annoying people. Do them in the right place, the right time, and with the right person. Trustworthy people won’t mind much when you cry or fart.

And with that done, I’d like to say it again: Crying is like farting. Also, I’d like to say that crying is farting via the face, and farting is crying via the butt. Facefarting and buttcrying. Interesting comparison, huh?

I feel like you’re disgusted at the idea that I introduced, though. Maybe you’re laughing at the idea because it sounds stupid. I remember introducing this idea to a friend, and that friend did not like it. I feel like it is because farting sounds like something way more stupid than crying. Still, I like comparing crying to farting. With our imperfection, bad stuff is gonna pile up in our systems, and we’ll need to expel them properly. Gas is gonna build up in our digestive tract. Dirt will jump into our eyes. We’ll get slapped by despair. We’re going to have to expel those bad stuff properly, nutshellcrackers. Of course, kick the bad stuff out of your body without hurting other people.

Now, I’d like to do some facefarting. I’ve got a lot of despair messing me up right now, and I feel like it’s high time for me to kick that bad stuff out properly…

So, who’s willing to listen to me as I fart my face out?

Penman No. 137: The Other Filipino Values

Pinoy Penman 3.0

Penman for Monday, February 23, 2015

DURING THIS most recent US visit, I had a chance to have a chat over a few beers with Ray Ricario, the older brother of our daughter Demi’s husband Jerry, and with some of Ray’s friends. Born in the US to parents from Albay, Ray’s a retired naval officer and an entrepreneur. He and his family are registered albeit moderate Republicans—as you might expect of Filipino immigrants steeped in a proud military tradition—and Ray knows that Beng and I are passionate liberals, so we have a lively but always civil conversation going about current events in the US, the Philippines, and around the world.

More often than not we end up agreeing on more things than we disagree on, especially when it comes to strengthening ties between Filipinos and Americans, and raising the profile of the Philippines in America. I always look forward to meeting…

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Tobby tried to sing Kisaragi Attention

Momo Kisaragi has some pretty awesome friends and family. Freaking beautiful. And this may be late already, but happy birthday, Momo-chan! (Her birthday is on February 14, Valentine’s Day)

I managed to survive another week of school (which contained a rappelling session that mentally drained me way more than all the other times I’ve tried rappelling…Ugh, freaking scary Aussie position…), I’ve begun writing another short story draft again, I’m still interested in Third Fang’s Yet again, with a little extra help (ALL HAIL THE LOG), and I need more sleep. And I gotta remember that I’m not alone and that I’ve got really awesome people who are willing to help me out in dealing with my problems. And make some effort in keeping the butt-biters away from your butt, you crazy bear!

Oh, and here’s the link to the mp3 of this cover, if you wanna download a copy of it.

Tobby tried to sing Super Nuko World

I think I should be making a Some VLOG, but I’ll settle with this as my content for the recently passed week.

Hm, I guess I should try typing how the past week went by in my life as well. I went to the doctor, got some really nice help from him and my parents, my parents lectured me about manners towards girls (Seriously, I thank you very much now, Mom and Dad). I’m still having hard times with trying to write a story, getting enough sleep, and controlling how much time I spend on reading fanfics. I also need to deal with homework and make up for missed school days as well. Freaking nuts, I can sense the butt-biters sniffing and nibbling on my butt that’s been farting a lot recently.

Oh yeah, I think butt-biters LOOOOOOOVE stinky farts. I feel like they enjoyed Valentine’s Day with the stinky farts. Speaking of Valentine’s Day, that’s when my recent appointment with the doctor happened. I don’t have a date, but getting some great help from the doctor and my parents made a really enjoyable Valentine’s Day this year! Freaking nuts!

As for the song I’ve recently covered, which is Mafumafu-san’s “Super Nuko World,” it’s pretty much about kitties. Nyao. I really like cats. And the song’s also heartwarming. And I thank descentsubs very much for making an English translation of it. Nyao. Also, here’s a link to an mp3 of my cover of it.

Anyway, gotta deal with more important stuff soon before the butt-biters start a rave party with my butt, the farts, and my intestines . See you again in the den, nutshellcrackers! ^_^

Tobby’s Recommendation Yell: Paranoiac

I have finished recording and editing my third Let’s Play series (as for why the second one, Yanderella, doesn’t have a Recommendation Yell for it, well, I was lazy at first, and now, I feel like it’s not worth recommending), the Let’s Played game is another game by Uri-san, and I’d like to recommend it!

Say hello to Paranoiac, nutshellcrackers! By the way, it’s a horror game. If you don’t like horror games, then feel free to stop reading.

Anyway, Paranoiac. It’s a freeware horror adventure game by Uri. It was also made in the WOLF RPG Editor, just like the two Strange Men Series games (By the way, Paranoiac is not a part of the Strange Men Series) that I had recommended, The Crooked Man and The Sandman. Its story is centered on Miki Takamura, a novelist who starts living in her aunt’s house. This game is a horror game, so I feel like I should just let you go see the game for yourself if you want to know more about its story.

Hm, maybe I should drop some hints about this story in this game while I talk about my thoughts on the game. Yeah, let’s try that, crazy bear boy. And don’t spoil your audience here, please.

Okay, so it has mentally messed up characters in it. I’m not that well-versed in the field of psychology, but I feel like those characters were depicted well. I wonder what well-trained psychologists would say if they clear this game…?

Another thing I’d like to say about the game is that the freaking chase-and-hide segments are freaking tough. Uri-san, what’s the logic behind those hiding spots? Being chased and finding out that you’ve been hiding in the wrong spot via jumpscaring photo and sound can be scary, but when put together with Paranoiac’s chase-and-hide and mechanic, it gets less scary and more annoying. Still, I think I did get creeped out at certain points there. And maybe I wasn’t feeling as creeped out as when I first watched a Let’s Play series of this game. I thank PewDiePie and Markiplier very much for the horror endurance training that I got into via watching their horror game Let’s Plays. Hm, I think my mental fortitude has something to do with the uneasiness level that I had when I Let’s Played this game…

But yeah, I think Paranoiac has a significant creepiness factor, despite the freaking tough chase-and-hide mechanic, and I think the story makes up most of what makes the game creepy. And speaking of the story, I think it’s freaking interesting, and I think it reminded me well about the do’s and don’t’s in giving support to depressed people. Also, this game has a good ending, and I think you should work hard to find it if you want to play this game.

If you wanna play Paranoiac, then here’s a link to the English-translated version of it. If you wanna share your thoughts about it, then feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments! ^_^