Burning Down The Porn

Author’s Note: I think I just made some borderline explicit stuff…so yeah, please feel free to click your browser’s Back button or do something more worthwhile if you don’t feel really comfortable with reading this. If you did read all of this, though, then please give me feedback on this (honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged, of course).


There was one day in my life when I thought that my day couldn’t get any stranger. Well, when I thought that back then, I expected another crazy thing to happen.

So yeah, I wasn’t quite surprised when I found out that Felicia, my dear younger sister, had formed a bad habit of staying up late to read an erotic visual novel, away from the senses of her fellow family members.

I had just arrived home, back from taking a troubled and drunk friend (and crush, but that’s another story for another day) back to her home while resisting her tempting but worrying drunken attempts at getting me into her pants. The house was really quiet, reminding me of the fact that my parents were out for a few days at some really long marathon thing in another city that’s miles away from where we live.

And that same quiet was what got me easily hearing loud moaning from within the house.

“Ahhhh…come on…you can put it inside me…”

The processing was quick. Only two people in our family were left behind to take care of the house for a few days of summer vacation, and I was one of those two. There are only four members in my family, my parents and their two kids. I’m here in the living room, first floor of the house, and I’m hearing disturbingly loud pleas for “a fountain of that warm, salty cream” from somewhere on the second floor of the house. And I’m pretty sure that my sister doesn’t have a crush yet, let alone a boyfriend, considering her ideal sort of guy.

Bee-product, my younger sister’s ideal sort of guy is another story for another day. Hm, or maybe you should just go ask her yourself. Seriously, she’s right beside you. Thank you very much for helping me shut him up, dear younger sister.

So, there I was, in front of the stairs, beginning to have some flashbacks to some darker days, but even though I began to have the rising urge to just curl up on the ground then and there and freaking scream at them, I didn’t let those paralyze me. Such things, even if they have messed, can mess, and will mess my mind up, I like having them drive me to beat them up and shove them up Satan’s pervasive ass.

Having formed a plan more quickly than the typical harem anime protagonist’s mental processing speed, I tiptoed my way up to my younger sister’s room, doing it like those cartoon characters with their exaggerated steps, humming a certain pink feline’s theme tune as I sneaked up the stairs. The stretching of my leg muscles reminded me that I needed a lot more regular exercise, but I still tried to keep on doing that to get more motivated into doing what I wanted to do.

When I reached the door, I put my hand in my pocket, gripping into the thing there and feeling the metal casing of the Zippo lighter that I often bring with me. The presence of the lighter in my hand greatly reminded me of what I needed to do, motivating me even further. As I did all that, the brass instruments were honking loudly in my mind.

With an outstretched right hand holding the lighter behind me, I reached for the doorknob to try to quietly check whether the door was locked or not. Judging from the loudness of the moans my sister was letting out, she seemed to be wearing headphones, but I didn’t want to be found out at that time. I felt like I needed the shock factor in hammering some points home later.

Also, there’s something really cathartic about surprising people who think that they’re not going to be caught red-handed while they covertly did something bad.

Back at the door, I put my thumb, index finger, and middle finger on the doorknob, like the claw of a claw crane. Pressing my fingers more tightly on the metal, I tried to turn the doorknob all the way to right.

No interruptions in the twisting of the knob. Which means that Fel left it unlocked. I thought of mocking her stupid move, but when I thought about it again, I don’t think I should call that move stupid. Leaving herself open to exposing her perversion may be bait for insults and mockery from fellow idiocy-controlled people, but I think it’s also bait for genuine help from kind and determined helpers, especially if she really wants to make the perversion stop. I don’t know if she really wanted it to stop it while outside of her daze, though. I’d be more worried if she doesn’t want to.

Anyway, I tried to gently push the door forward. I almost yelped when I heard the creaking of the hinges, but my sister didn’t stop her moaning and her longing cries on her bed, in front of her laptop. I kept on pushing the door, and I realized that even though she was mostly wearing her orange pajamas, she seemed to be really into it, especially when I heard the somewhat faint sounds of music and voices coming out of her orange headphones and saw her vigorous movements in her mostly dark room.

I will not elaborate on her state back there any further than that, or else my dear sister would probably clobber me with the chair that she is sitting on right now.

Anyway, my eye twitched a lot because of all the disturbing sounds that she was making, but I grinned as I crouched and crawled under her bed, which was tall enough for my kinda flabby body. Ooh, she sure is going to have the biggest shock of her life, alright.

Fel, stop whacking me. I’ll still continue telling the story. You don’t want me to elaborate on the porn-burning? Okay, okay, I won’t elaborate on that…Ah, and Bee-product, can you have Fel check your ass–OW! Okay, okay, shutting up now…pfft…

Most people would have held back if they tried to follow the plan that I was going to execute, but I’m different from them. Not “different” in the sense that I still promote their perversion or cowardice while trying to deal with it through some other way that never really helps. I figuratively torture bad behavior, and I have fun doing it. As for the ones doing the bad behavior, well, that’s a kinda different story. We sure tend to forget that we can be awesome, indeed.

And now, as I was getting close to my sister’s position and the table in front of her bed, I rolled over so that I was lying on my back. Also, the dust under her bed sure is annoying. I started to think that this bad habit is why she hasn’t been her usual efficient self when it came to doing household chores during summer vacation. But hey, I should endure it for now, and endure I did.

“Aah…that was so good…but so disgusting, damn it…”

Fel had just finished screaming and getting herself launched to the moon and was now grumbling and plunging back to Earth when I slid my head out from under her bed. With a lighter held right beside my head, I said with widened eyes and a grin that was meant to unsettle:

“I know that feel, sis. Indeed, I know.”

I don’t know if she actually heard what I said, but it took a few seconds and an adjustment of headphones before she saw me, screamed, and threw her headphones to her laptop. I immediately rolled sideways and crawled out to save the precious piece of tech from falling to the floor and getting broken. It fell into my arms, the heavy laptop and my muscles reminding me that I really should get more regular exercise. Seeing that it was safe, I quickly, but gently, placed it on the ground.

“Phew, this piece of tech can be an annoyance with how easy it is to get into crap, yeah, but hey, I can do some nice work with computers and the Internet,” I said with a smile as I turned and lifted my upper body up to look at my sister.

Speaking of my sister, she was curled up in a ball under her blanket, muttering something. I stood up and tried to poke her.

“If you want to throw me out of the house, do it already…” she said with a sniffle. “I’m a shame to this family…and to humanity…”

“Sis, I’ve had the same problem as you, you’re actually reading one of the visual novels that I once bought but are now for incineration, and remember what we usually say?” I told her while I poked her. “‘We may suck,” She groaned at that, “but we can be awesome. You say that a lot, I say that a lot, our dear energetic parents say that a lot, and we already knew that it’s not something that doesn’t make sense. Come on, Fel. If you need help, I’ll help you. You know that, like you, I hate looking down on people. We hate looking down on any person, really.”

When she started to take the blanket off her head, revealing her messed-up hair and her teary eyes, I stopped poking her.

“…really?” she asked weakly.

I sighed, and I felt myself feeling more motivated to help her. Seeing other people being sad isn’t something that I really like.

“Yeah, I’m serious. You know I hate lying, right? And even if our parents are the most eardrum-shattering people when they’re pissed, they’re great people. They try to do their best in caring for us. Come on, Sis,” I called with a smile and an outstretched left hand. “Let’s go burn down some porn.”

And we burned a lot of plastic and paper that night. We also hoped that we didn’t enlarge the hole in the ozone layer or something. And she also said a bunch of stuff that would probably become memes in the Internet or something. Seriously, Fel, I know why you’re glaring, but as promised, I won’t elaborate on those embarrassing things. Even I’m feeling embarrassed when I think of what you said, let alone even talking about it with…certain people. Oh, and speaking of certain people…

“Wait…so…that was real?”

Frostbite and I gave slaps to the messy-haired and brunette Bee-product. Frostbite first, a forehand from the left, then me, a backhand from the right. We left red hand marks on his round face.

“HE TOLD A DAMN DETAILED ACCOUNT, YOU IDIOT!” Frostbite screamed and slammed her fists on the rectangular and wooden dining room table. Her face was red with embarrassment, disgust, and anger. My blushing sister had to hold her platinum blonde best friend back from doing stuff like strangling the dense Student Council Vice-President. Wait, no, slapping him in the face again and again until she tires out seems more likely to be the worst that she can do to him and to anyone she has lots of trust in. Despite the nickname Fel and I use for her, Frostbite is too warm for strangling people, let alone killing people.

But still, Frostbite’s most likely worst punishment for friends and loved ones still hurts, so yeah.

“You think my dear younger sister is a god, Bee-product?” I asked the shaking freckle-face who wore a forest green hoodie. “I do remember her telling me about your crush on her.” I tried to make my voice deep and dramatic while I looked at the pale boy with my head tilted to the side and my nose pointed upward. “You thought you’d find everything about her–aside from her face–spotless, huh? What a damn foolish idea.” I bent my upper body forward, put my face closer to his, locking my gray eyes with his widened brown eyes, and whispered. “I forgot who said it first, but I once read this quote: ‘Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.’ Don’t delude yourself, okay? I like saving people from their delusions, but it’s not like I don’t feel pain whenever they try to shield themselves with their delusions. Do you understand, Bee-product?”

“Y-Yes,” he squeaked with a nod. “I-I understand.”

I moved my upper body back and smiled. “Prove it, then. Prove that you understood. What do you have to say to my dear younger sister now?”

The pale boy’s face blushed as he looked at Fel.

“W-Well…I know how you feel?”

That awkward reaction is understandable, really. Happens a lot when you delude yourself a lot. Reminds me of me and my crush on my best friend back then. And he’s like me, but he has less self-confidence, like my self from middle school. I now feel like helping Bee-product will be somewhat easier than expected.

Oh, and my sister is now glaring at me while blushing. She sure likes teasing her friends with light sexual jokes (something that’s been lightening more and more after I found her having private time with one of my to-be-burned-down visual novel discs), but she sure doesn’t like people knowing how much of a pervert she really is. I understand that as well, having known that most people these days are cruel and pessimistic, and don’t forget highly encouraging of perverted behavior. Let it be known that I and my family are not fans of perverted behavior, even if we had moments when we thought that it was cool.

“Did you really have to explain it in detail, Bro?” Fel asked.

“Well, your dear Vice-President has to know that it’s real and how serious it is,” I replied with a smile. “Good thing that you’re honest about it, too. Makes it easier to deal with the problem. It’s an important step, really. We gotta admit that there’s a problem. And when we know what the problem is, we can take steps to make sure that the problem is properly dealt with.”

“You know, Bro, you should be in your college’s Student Council,” Fel remarked, now smiling as well. I sighed and waved a hand.

“Sis, I tried, but the majority of the student body wanted someone less outrageous than me. I deserved the loss too, and the Goofy Pretty Boy Incident can attest to that.”

My sister and her best friend nodded in agreement, wearing stern faces. Bee-product, being someone who’s out of the loop about it, swung his head about in confusion, one eyebrow raised.

“Looks aren’t everything,” I told the unaware boy as I shook my head. “Looks aren’t everything…”

Even goofy pretty boys aren’t safe. Well, they can be safe, but yeah, they can still be in danger. Okay, let’s not look back on that very horrible incident. My body shudders when I think about that freaking incident. Just remember, I still have a long way to go before I can deal with situations involving stubborn perverts. That’s it, another story for another day, okay, later, bye-bye.

I clapped my hands. Fel’s story should have finally woken him up and prepped him up enough, so now’s the time for the main event in a “Fires Against Porn” session!

“SO!” I turned my eyes to Bee-product. “Do you have your whole porn stash with you?” I took my lighter out and flipped its cap open too. I gave him a very wide smile, a smile grown by the fires that tear, transform, and free smooth and shiny paper from the deceptive and destructive concepts possessing them. “Hehehehe…”

Shaking, the kinda pale and kinda chubby shy boy took a purple cloth bag out. “H-Here’s the p-print ones…d-discs…and…” Then, he ducked to rummage around his blue-green backpack on the floor, take out a laptop from it, and then put it on the table. “…I’ll s-show you a-all…the f-f-f-files…and delete them…in f-front of…y-you.”

He took deep breaths. Showing your collection of porn to other people, especially with these two girls around him, takes tons of courage. Honestly, when I burned my porn collection, I never did it in front of my dear crush (Come on, why are you still going after her, Scin?), nor have I told her about my collection and the burning of it. I admit it: I was very embarrassed back then, and I’m still embarrassed about it, even when I think about trying to tell her about it. I should tell her, at least…but that’s a task for a later time…

Now, grin wider. Let a flicker of flame out from the lighter. Take the cloth bag. Raise your arms, look up, and call God Almighty.

“Praise the Lord, for we have a brave person here. And dear God! Await our offering! Transformed paper and plastic shall be delivered to you! If this offering is unworthy, we shall try to give a better offering!”

“Is he…is he okay?”

“Don’t worry, he hasn’t gone insane, Ney.”

“I still find it hard to get used to this part…Ugh…”

Ignoring the question, the sigh, and the facepalm, I turn around and prance my way to the backyard, where a pit of charcoal awaits.

Out there, yes, I can see it. A circle of solids, colored black, gray, and white. The papers and plastics to be purified are rained upon it. I let a flame come to life through my lighter. I let a flame touch a piece of the tainted objects. The flames creep and crawl upon the demonic forces that try to tempt me yet again–I know they have wounded me once, but I know what they can do. I can defeat them now that I know what they can do. Burn. Burn away. Yes, watch this with me, fellow participants in this program! Arms up and look up to the sky!

“JUSTICE IS STILL IN MY HEART, KIMI NI~ TODOKE JUSTITIAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

Prance! Prance around the burning circle!

“I’m kinda worried, but…pfft…hahaha…”

“Pffftttt…Bro, why…ahaha…why…”

“Tch…mffhaha…damn it, WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY!?”

Okay, be serious now.

“Seriously, though.” I dropped my arms and closed my eyes, smiling more calmly. “Thanks very much, God.”

I turned to face my sister and our friends. I raised my arms again, palms open wide.

“High five, people!”

And I received them quickly. As expected. They’re smiling too. Nice. I wanna smile some more!

“Group hug!”

And we hugged. Sweet and heartwarming, indeed.

Also, I ruffled Bee-product’s hair.

“I hope you’re not copping a feel, Bee-product,” I said with a grin.

“I’m not copping a feel, I swear!” he shouted, face looking like a ripe tomato. “Even if…y-your sister’s butt looks…p-pretty nice…”

What an honest boy. I like this boy more now. And I’m now more worried about him too. Note to self: Don’t let their hormones mess them up.

“Don’t worry, looking is fine, Ney!”

“W-What? Uh…uhhh…”

“As usual, Fel’s being a tease, hahaha!”

“Damn it, I’m surrounded by perverts…”

“Hahaha! And you’re one of them, Frostbite!” I told the platinum blonde in a silver miniskirt. Oh, I know why she likes wearing such skirts…and it’s not because she wants to hook up with a lot of guys. Also, she likes wearing shorts under her skirt. I knew about that from Fel and Frostbite herself. Okay, miniskirt thing’s now another story for another day, ’cause I think I’m forgetting–

“AHEM, IDIOTS!” shouted the miniskirt wearer as she pushed herself away from us. “We should be deleting some digital trash next, correct?”

“Yes, correct, Frostbite!” I replied with a comically loud and deep voice. “Show us your collection, Bee-product! All of them! No need to open them, though!”

And I marched back to the dining room. Bee-product rushed by me. Ah, yes, I know that feel. Print porn is easier to deal with, but digital porn…dealing with that will certainly need a lot more effort. The ease provided by computers and the Internet is a double-edged sword, indeed.

But still, dealing with such a problematic thing can be fun, even if it’s tough. That’s what this support group is supposed to show as well. Support groups should be like that! Thank you very much for the inspiration, Mister Howell.

“So, what girls are you into, Ney?”

“Uhh…Uhhmm…Ahaha…uhhh…”

“Ugh…do you even need to ask, Fel?”

Alright, time to go serious big brother mode.

“Silence, people.”

“…” Fel straightened her posture.

“…” Bee-product started to steady.

“…finally,” Frostbite said.

Good, they’re silent now. I folded my arms and faced the brunette sitting in front of the laptop.

“Now, show us the trash and delete them. No need to go deep in showing them to us. Just show us that they exist, and delete them.”

The second half of the main event was mostly silent. I like flamboyance, but this silence…it feels appropriate and refreshing.


Previous Part: Away From The Porn

Next Part: Probably An Insane Shipper’s Porn

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