Sitting Down And/Or Pacing Around #8

I really really hate loathing any person. No exceptions. I’ve already realized how unhealthy loathing any person is, you know. Like, we got awesomeness within us, and we need each other so that we can survive and find true happiness too. But hey, our imperfections are real things too. Our imperfections often keep us away from seeing our potential for awesomeness. When we get in trouble, we’re always responsible for it, and often, we try to believe in the “It’s not my fault” delusion. Our suffering is our fault, and I guess that’s why we often hate ourselves. But you know, what keeps me going and hopeful is our potential for awesomeness. Our potential for awesomeness is a real thing too. We people shouldn’t be here right now if our potential for awesomeness doesn’t exist, you know. So yeah, there’s hope, and we can fight against our weaknesses. And the person talking here is Tobby, a person who is, as usual, very angry at all the self-loathing that I see in myself and in other people. Ah, yes, I really wanna shove Holy Hand Grenades into the holes that we see a lot in bad behavior.

Tobby tried to sing FPS

I covered a dark song. Another dark song and a melancholic song are currently at the top of my “Songs to Cover” priority list (and I should remind myself about working on that one duet cover that I haven’t been working on much lately…)

Meanwhile, in lighter topics, a friend of mine drew some character designs for one of my stories, and the designs that she drew are freaking awesome. Makes me wanna work on that story more, yo. ^_^

Oh, and I’ll reveal those character designs eventually…and suddenly too. Hm, maybe suddenly, yeah.

And now, here’s this cover’s mp3.


People should be more aware about the origins of occassions like Halloween and Christmas, indeed. Thank you very much for your effort here, Mrs. Juneau! \(^o^)

joy of nine9

raised my nine children in the shadow of  other dedicated Catholic mothers, mostly homeschoolers, who thought Halloween was evil, dedicated to witches. Their children were not allowed to celebrate with their neighbors but went to a church basement to celebrate All Saints Eve.

This church was an hour away from us. More importantly, I felt my children suffered enough  because of a perceived alienation from their peers. At our tiny Catholic, country school everyone dressed up for the day and often joined friends afterward to go door to door. I did not want to deny them the joy and creative fun which surrounded this cultural, childhood tradition.

                                                                 Found on


View original post 351 more words

Tobby tried to sing Mozaik Role with 40mP-sensei’s Arrange

I decided to sing this while my throat was recovering from singing a bunch of harder songs. Oh, and I’ve seen my improvement in mixing while I was mixing this cover too. I can see it in my more frequent double-checks and audio track comparisons, yo. But for me to know the full extent of my improvement, I’ll still need to know your thoughts, dear nutshellcrackers, especially thoughts from those who are more experienced when it comes to music.

In other topics, I’ll be posting a story in the near future, and I guess it’s a start of another series. I think I can call it a short story series too…

Anyway, here’s this cover’s mp3.

For Mafu-senpai’s birthday, Tobby tried to sing Gikyoku to Deforme Toshi

Happy birthday, fellow dork with potential for awesomeness! \(^o^)



Welp, I guess that’s all for now. See you again in the den, then, nutshellcrackers!

…and I should work on writing stories more…oh, and don’t forget those duet covers that you need to work on…plus, don’t forget household chores…

Oh, and here’s this cover’s mp3, yo! \(^o^)

Contraception Destroys Marital Chastity, Marriage, the family … civilization

I support the Catholic Church’s teachings regarding contraception because I have known about the bad things that occur when sex is treated like a toy, and not because “They said so.” This article led me to hating my perversion more, and I thank God very much for the help.

Littlemore Tracts

This was published today on TheCatholicThing.Org because they have a much larger readership than this poor blog. One Christian example is worth a ton of words, even those coming from a Church Synod.

Chastity: the Crucial Message of a Canonization

To my way of thinking, the single most important event that will occur during the 2015 Synod on Marriage and the Family will be one over which the participating bishops will engage in no discussion and take no votes. Indeed, I think the most inspired decision surrounding this whole Synod is to have the canonization of St. Thérèse’s parents – Zelie and Louis Martin – take place this Sunday.

The Church has always pointed to the lives of saints to teach us the great truths of our faith. In this case, the example is not only the fidelity of this…

View original post 878 more words


Oh hey, a freaking inspiring poem! 😀

River of Life

A big bold blur
Of entire life
In a rain drop
Hung in the air, then
Shuttered against hardened soil
Reduced to nothing
As if it never was.
Has it served its purpose?
Quenched the thirst,
Fed the hunger.
One drop in the millions, or
A million of ones,
However you look at it
One makes a difference
May be it was a crystal ball
Not a blur, after all.

View original post

Sitting Down And/Or Pacing Around #7

I’m not a dog person. I’m okay with caring for animals, but if you want to ask me to care for a dog on a daily basis, I’ll probably be in prison or something after a bunch of days of trying to do that properly.

When I see a dog, roaming around without a leash or a guarding human on the street, I tend to be wary of the dog. Wary to the point that I think that it’ll pounce on me if it looks at me. And when they bark, I tend to run away and maybe even scream in fear.

When it comes to the dogs in my family’s house, though, they’re mostly annoying, unlike Theo the relaxed cat. Cody and Blythe tend to get noisy and touchy-feely when they’re hungry or when they need to pee or poop. I feel like I’ll be wounded very badly when they jump up to reach for my face in affection or something. They also tend to mess up things in the house with more damage when they’re unleashed. Plants and soil are dug out, slippers become chew toys, annoying stuff like that. And when they bark–Damn, when they freaking bark…That’s the thing that annoys me the most. It’s like…metal scraping a chalkboard or glass, I guess. Basically, it’s very noisy to my ears. And the barking is more annoying when they do that near me while I’m recording audio. A bunch of records I made back then would sound great if people didn’t hear the barking in the background.

And rivaling the barking are their habits when I walk them around. I’m the sort of person who likes to get chores done quick. Or I guess I can say that my patience is short and I like finishing tasks quick and well. When I walk the dogs, I feel like my time is being wasted as I walk them around and wait while they decide where they’ll pee, where they’ll poop, where’s the next pile of wet grass to suck at–“I NEED TO BARK AT THAT DAMN DOG NEARBY BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK,” and pretty much ignoring me and my safety until I pull their leashes. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, though, because I usually need to walk them twice a day.

[insert Tobby’s explosive scream here]

And that’s why I often say that a cat is my number one pet that I’ll take care of when I have my own house. Cats are freaking chill. Sure, they can be annoying (Example: My cat vomiting inside the house), but they’re usually within my patience. They’re usually quiet, they’re not painful to my ears when they bug me for food, and I don’t need to worry very much about them when they go out without a leash. Not like I consider dogs lower than cats, though. It’s just that my patience isn’t fit for dealing with dogs, and my patience seems harder to train when it comes to dealing with dogs too. I wish that I have enough patience for my family’s dogs, but my regular walking with the dogs has been reminding me of my limits, of that fact of human life, of those things that we often blind ourselves to.

Imperfections. Every human has that. When I become well-known (not “if,” because I definitely intend to become well-known, and I’m sure that I’ll have to gain that in the path that I want to take whether I like it or not), I’d like people to remember my imperfections as well. Yes, I do want people to remember that I can be great, but I don’t want them to think that I’m God, because I’m just a human being. A lot of people seem to often think that people with lots of developed awesomeness are people who have infinite awesomeness. Thing is, no human has infinite awesomeness. We can be awesome, but not infinitely awesome. The only Infinitely Awesome Being is that Being that many people don’t believe in nowadays. And I really like serving Him.

And yeah, I think about deep and complex stuff even when I walk my family’s dogs around. Please remind me to be aware of my surroundings when I walk the dogs, dear nutshellcrackers.

Anyway, if you’re looking for someone who’s infinitely awesome, I highly recommend looking for God. Of course, looking for Him will be very very difficult. And I don’t recommend hating other people as well. We have imperfections, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t improve.

Now, God, please help me be more patient. And my dear family, please help be more patient as well. As for the dogs…well…feel free to keep on being inspirations, I guess. Not like I can’t feel annoyance towards you noisy nuts now, though…*sighs in exasperation*…

Tobby tried to sing Ayano no Koufuku Riron for Jin-sensei’s birthday

Speaking of Jin-sensei, he hasn’t tweeted in a long while…so, I pray that he gets more strength, yo! Also, shocking news happened during this day, and that news is Suzumu-sensei’s retirement. Even though I feel disappointment at that, I also feel glad about him admitting his weaknesses and continuing to live on. I wish strength for him too, and I’ll definitely be making a cover of one of his songs as a way of showing thanks to him!

Wow, what a change of topic. Sorry, Jin-sensei…

So, I guess I should talk about my song choice for Jin-sensei’s birthay, then. “Ayano no Koufuku Riron” is what I sung for Jin-sensei’s birthday this year, and well, I chose that, because…well…I guess I wanted to show that I know that life is freaking tough and that happiness can still be found even if it’s hard to get.

(Meanwhile, Tobby kinda regrets not choosing “Otsukimi Recital”…)

Oh, and I decided to use Bikkuri-san’s acoustic arrange because my voice doesn’t fit with the original arrange.

Also, Tobby, I think you should put more focus on writing stories…and I think doing chores and exercise more can help…and hey, it’s Sunday tomorrow! Another day of spiritual rejuvenation is coming! Make sure to go to Mass with the family! And don’t be late for Mass too!

Now, get enough sleep, Tobby. And see you again in the den, nutshellcrackers! \(^o^)

Oh, and here’s this cover’s mp3!

EDIT (Oct. 11, 2015): I posted too early…’cause Jin-sensei’s birthday is on October 20…whoops…