Maintaining the Haven

Yet again, during a Sunday, though on my way to a Mass with my family and the prayer community we’re a part of, the saying “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” suddenly made more sense to me.

Well, I guess there was me also thinking about stuff to write about for my next reflection post. I kinda felt like I was running out of topics, really, especially with my mind spending a little too much time on my comp and on the Net again. Said overspending showed in things like me sneaking in bits of writing for this on my phone’s Notes feature…so yeah, I guess I should give thanks to God for using my phone’s kinda weakened battery to mess with my excessive desires.

Huh, now that makes me think about how laziness can kill motivation. And if you ask me, laziness isn’t doing nothing, but actually being unproductive. Like, really, one can be lazy in terms of sleeping!

But hey, I think I’m going tangential here, though considering what I want to talk about, perhaps I would end up tackling my other habits in life later on in this reflection.

So, cleaning up my room.

See, in my family’s house, I share a room with one of my younger brothers, specifically the one who’s also in college. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been subtly rubbing in his laziness in terms of keeping his stuff in order by trying to clean up for him without also politely telling him to clean his stuff up. I let out a lot of groans when the occasional time comes, times when I sweep out dust bunnies and pick up scattered and even hidden trash in our room. In other usual cases, I just leave his mess alone, just like that, thinking that he should just do everything ’cause he’s being such a messy guy…

And then I remember how there are other things that I can and should clean up, like those pieces of trash within the drawers we rarely clean up…and then there’s me remembering that it’s also my room, and not just my brother’s room.

Yeah, talk about a painful pride crusher.

But really, I gotta learn to clean myself more and more, or else I’d be more susceptible to sickness, and I’d also be stuck dumb with trying to teach others how to be clean. Sure, such a thing is probably not a decisive factor in improving my whole personal life, but a contributing factor still affects stuff, and they should not be underestimated as well.

And hey, the way I treat contributing factors still can say a lot about me, just like how bits of seemingly trivial info in my favorite stories are supposed to show a bigger picture. I guess contributing factors work that way too.

Hm, I seem to have gone on another tangent again, no? Well, whether or not that is case, I still want your honest constructive feedback.

Now, back to talking about cleaning my own room. Specifically, the obstacles in my way towards doing that right. And hey, I’ll try to talk about it like how my favorite stories do.

So, now’s some time for some questions and answers:

Q. The usual obstacles in my way towards actively cleaning my room when I have the time and energy?

A. Going online too much and waiting for cleaners too much.

Q. Why do I let those obstacles get in my way so much?

A. Because I still got a lot of important online work to do, and because there are people who should be doing cleaning instead of me.

Q. Speaking of cleaners, who are those people?

A. In my family’s house, it should be my brother. In my boarding house room, well, there are cleaners who come around from time to time.

Q. But what about the things I don’t want touched? And about my thoughts on my brother, why should he be cleaning the room?

A. For the former, well, fine, I do have to clean my own things up, especially since I know myself best when compared to other people. As for the latter, well, my brother’s a lazy butt who often forgets to bring his dirty plates out of the room and on to the kitchen sink, among other things.

Q. Okay, I guess my first answer is fair enough, but the second…Well, aren’t I forgetting those drawer and closet items which I haven’t been using for so long?

A. Uhh…but most of them are my brother’s.

Q. But I still have some that are mine, right?

A. …Yeah.

Q. And whose room is that again? My brother’s and…?

A. …Mine. But I still have more important work to do! Like with my comp! And online too!

Q. And what’s so important with my computer and online activities that I gotta forego cleaning the room?

A. Uhh…

Q. Come on, what am I gonna say?

A. JUSTICE!

Q. What?

A. A bunch of peeps out there are within reach of my amazing artistic potential, and I would like to develop it by creating and sharing and creating and sharing and…uhh…

Q. And what about that “JUSTICE!” I just screamed? What’s that got to do with this?

A. I GOTTA TEACH THOSE NUTS RIGHT AND BRING JUSTICE!

Q. Can my own self give me a detailed plan for that, then, please? Like, say, including how I’ll properly maintain my mind, body, and soul along the way and not succumb to the poisonous nuttiness that I want to defeat?

A. Uh…Uhh…Okay, you’re sounding just like Mom now, you know.

Q. Yes, it seems so, but aren’t I just trying to run away now at this point?

A. Okay, fine, I suck.

Q. I only suck?

A. Okay, I can improve too, so stop bugging me already!

So yeah, now’s a good time for me to get back to some actually productive work, no?
Also, God Almighty help me again. Sucking at tasks so ordinary, although not exactly a decisive factor, can still be a mark of my spiritual weaknesses. Thinking about that some more as well, I’ve realized that the capital sins that often get in my way lately are pride, lust, and sloth. I think too highly of myself, thinking that I’m way above doing ordinary tasks, even to the point of being a coward and lying to myself about what I can do when it comes to ordinary tasks. I long too much for fame and control, longing to keep on working on my online activities, desperate to get famous and powerful real quick, all while lying to myself that I’m doing things for the good of others. I groan a lot when I need to do chores, especially urgent ones, even blaming my tendency towards rigidity instead of fighting against said rigidity when I’m faced with such sudden things.

And yes, there is such a thing as lying to oneself. I myself still have difficulty with noticing such occurrences within me, and I think that my improved detection on those is pretty much a miracle being caused by God. So yeah, I thank God Almighty so much.

And hey, although I find this kinda awkward to say because of my dumb pride getting in my way when other people ask me to pray for them…well, I ask that you pray for me as well.

So yeah…honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.

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2 thoughts on “Maintaining the Haven

  1. BreLangermann says:

    hi overlord bear, i just wanted to say I played the boogie man, and i loved it. You did great as Brendon Dumont. He was one of my favorite characters.

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