Fighting with the Fast Pace

I think I have quite a complicated relationship with the fast pace.

First off, childhood had me admiring it because of all those fight scenes and other motion picture scenes which involved a lot of spinning and zipping shots, scenes which emphasized the powers within combatants and the stakes their battles had. Some slow motion shots in between had me appreciating them even more, boosting the figurative skyrocket I was on. Countering a bunch of rushing minions with limb movements just as quick or even quicker was also quite a sight, adding up to my admiration for the faster and nimbler heroes even more.

Indeed, seeing such quick heroes made me want to be like them. I even thought it would be so easy, that I could be as quick as them in a bunch of consecutive blinks and random swings.

I guess God decided to teach me about the responsibilities behind the fast pace by letting me get injured because of me breaking a mirror when I tried to imitate people like Jackie Chan when I was a kid. It wasn’t too bad, though, as I only got out with a scar in my armpit, but now that I look back at it, I think it was quite the start of a bunch of lessons from God about the fast pace.

Now, though, I think back on my moments with the more physical fast pace through the years. The notable ones are moments when I found myself having my eyes widening and looking straight forward, while my hands held on to the backrest of my seat as I rode a car being driven at a speed above the speed limit.

Really, those moments now make me think of how fleeting life can be and how we forget to check how we’re moving at times. I’m also thinking that perhaps the ease in which passengers can tell how manageable the speed of the vehicle they’re riding is something that can remind us of how we need other people at times to straighten us out and all that. It’s easy for us to get lost in our own ego, and it’s hard for us to get out of it, you know.

Heh, that also reminds me of a recent experience I had with a tricycle as I went back to my boarding house. At one point, the tricycle I was riding went faster than I was used to, and I was having doubts about whether or not such a speed was within the speed limit in the area. I felt like I could fly out and roll and bounce on the road if I didn’t hold on to something tightly enough, and I wanted to take some time to express my doubts to the driver, but I was more frozen by the fear which caught me as fast as the tricycle was going.

Hm, perhaps things like that are why I’m less interested in action shows now. They also remind me of the responsibility which comes with power, too, and they make me wanna slow down, pause, and/or stop for a while to think about how I’ve been handling myself and how I’ve been utilizing and developing my talents and skills.

Ah, and I remember how I’ve been so much in a rush to gain fame and control and all that. I remember my past attempts at blogging and posting creative works online, stuff which involved a lot of embarrassing stuff like overly direct attempts at poetry and trope-overdosed attempts at fiction, stuff that weren’t revised very much as well. That, and how nosey I was when it came to dealing with other people and their troubles, something which still bothers me today. Like, it reminds me of the people I tend to face in uni, people who are quite emotional about the problems of society, so much that me trying to shut them up would just make me hypocritical…and such moments are moments when I find a force stronger than mine sending me from motion to zero motion.

In other words, those moments are the moments when I crash.

Yeah, such are my struggles with the fast pace. And up until now, I haven’t even mentioned people reminding me a lot about the importance of talking slower, especially in the typical speech routines.

Now, if we’re to talk about the things which first come to my mind when the fast pace is mentioned, there’s that one song by K-Pop boyband Seventeen, which now reminds me of how I also have struggles with the fast pace in terms of developing the romantic part of my life. I do see myself having a family of my own in the future, but I’ve let the fast pace become an obstacle to me there. As much as I think and say that I don’t like being carried away by the thought of being lame as a virgin and such stuff, I’m pretty much being carried away by that sort of flawed thinking, which is probably because of me wanting to skip the tough stuff in finding truly good people to have in my life.

Heh, I guess the tangle that is my ideas regarding my ideal type of girl makes some more sense now, then. And I thank God some more for the rejections and turn-offs I’ve had in the past, too.

Oh, and I guess there’s that piece of childhood left within me, considering how I still like fast-paced rock songs like the ones from the Kagerou Project. Though with how such songs have gotten me through life, I guess their influence is okay as long as they don’t work in a way that will lead me to ruin. Like, I shouldn’t be acting at the level of a stalker looking through binoculars on someone I like every single second of every single day, if you get what I mean.

Yup, I do think the fast pace can be good at times. But hey, I think such a pace fits better in bursts or a few moments with intervals that are quite far from each other. It’s like using nitrous boost in clearer and straighter roads in racing video games, drawing from my experience with such games.

And as an attempt at presenting a more concrete example of using the fast pace well, I think making my mind skip out on processing some others’ rants that I don’t need to take to heart so much is something that I need a lot more than I think. Into one ear and out of the other, as I’ve been told before.

Also, my fast-paced talking moments and the reminders about me that often annoyed me have inspired me to try rapping. Whether others like it or not, I can see potential in it, and I think I feel a calling coming from there too, especially with me wanting to put my fast-paced talking to better use.

Hm, maybe my relationship with the fast pace isn’t as complicated as I thought.

Still, I gotta learn a lot more. Whatever I should be in the future, be it a martial artist or a rapper or some other occupation, I still gotta learn my way towards reaching that, especially with the help of other people…and God, of course.

So yeah, God Almighty help us again. 🙂

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