a piece of Kagerou Project fanfiction written by The Overlord Bear
Summary: Azami is stuck as an adult with a bunch of other adults. It would have been fun if their respective descendants thought of visiting and thanking her for the powers they got from her, at least. I mean, what’s so hard about dying without going to the afterlife for just one freaking day?
“Okay, can I just ask: Did my son really kick villain ass? And did he get friends and a girlfriend? ‘Cause I find that hard to believe, if you ask me. Though I would be happy for him if it were true, ’cause he’d be living the life that way!”
“Shut up, Kisaragi…”
“Oh come on, Kano-san! You’re back at it again with that knife stuck up your ass! Look at the bright side!”
“‘Bright side’ my ass, Kisaragi!”
It was another day in the Heat-Haze Daze…and Azami wasn’t even sure if a day had already passed.
And now, to think from the point of view that the Kisaragi man kept on nagging about, her damned Clearing Eyes Snake had been finally trapped in a wish it can’t get out of without whining with its mouth shut forever. That’s one good thing.
The next good thing was having the freedom to gather her fellow Heat-Haze Daze residents, all of them adults (including the Kido girl, who was now an adult by human standards, and the dog, which had also reached adulthood by dog standards, if she remembered correctly), as they had been released from the bounds of their respective death settings. Walking around and talking like some mysterious know-it-all had been getting tiring already, and Azami needed someone conscious enough to listen to her and maintain her sanity.
And then there were their respective descendants, who had made all of the above possible.
Yes, including the mind-numbing situation she was in right now.
“WHY DO NOT THEY GIVE US SOME THANKS, AT THE VERY LEAST!?” the medusa then shouted as she slammed the white round table they were sitting around in one room of an open-windowed skyscraper she built with the Kisaragi man’s ideas. “You, Kisaragi man, do you not agree with me?”
“Huh, what?” said man responded, messy black hair further messed up by the headlocking sandy blonde woman whose pretty looks were spoiled by her grumpy personality. “Hey, get off me, you crazy beater!” he then shouted to the Kano woman.
Azami groaned at the stupid scene she was witnessing.
Following that, she shot a glare at the silent participants in the conference room…and yes, that included her own daughter, Shion.
“Any commentary you would like to give on this situation we have, hm?” the full-blooded medusa then asked, her snake hair floating and then hissing above and behind her.
“Uhh…I don’t think I’m someone you should ask about that, considering what I’ve done…” replied the Tateyama man, Azami’s punching bag, who was looking sheepish as he scratched his head and looked away with an awkward attempt at a smile.
“Well, it would be nice to have the kids here,” the Tateyama woman followed, also wearing an awkward attempt at a smile, “But considering how the kids are doing so far, I don’t think showing Kenjirou to them would be a good idea, hahaha…”
“As much I hate to admit it,” the Kido girl added, arms crossed, “Ayaka-san has a point. We should let them do what they want for now.”
“And at least we can watch over them, right?” Shion dared to follow-up, her smile also as awkward as the Tateyamas’.
As for the dog, all it gave was an “Arf!”
An “Arf!” about…something.
Okay, it probably agreed with Shion, considering how it was rubbing its head on the half-medusa’s petting hand.
Honestly, this whole regular hangout plan was more boring than she expected. Introductions were done, excitement was caused, and then poof, dead like in a Heat-Haze Daze death setting.
Sure, all of Azami’s more unfamiliar yet, through association, still familiar companions sparked curiosity and wonder within her. They could be talked with better compared to those idiots she had to deal with before she acted on her impulse to leave Tsukihiko and Shion behind, yes, but they still had that irritating factor that seemed to be typical within humans.
The Kisaragi man was a loudmouth. The Tateyamas were idiot parents. The Kano woman was an abuser. The Kido girl was too quiet and/or too serious…and she was probably mocking her in the process as well. The dog, well, it just said “Arf!” in different tones that were not consistent with the actions they accompanied.
Oh, and although she didn’t feel like disowning her daughter, Azami was very much disappointed by how Shion was going along with all those idiots.
And if Tsukihiko were still alive, she would whip him for being such a pushover, then have him touch her and tell her that things are gonna get “turned up,” as those kids say.
But since Azami couldn’t find a better way to vent, she decided to deliver the usual whipping on the deserving idiots.
“SIT DOWN, YOU BRATS!”
With that, it was just another day in the Heat-Haze Daze…
“One snake, two snake, three snake – ”
“O GREAT SNAKE WOMAN, SALVATION HAS ARRIVED!”
Azami’s answer to that was a futile attempt at bending her head backward as she lied on the ground, counting the hair snakes floating and wiggling above her face.
“Can you move closer…?” she asked with a hoarse imitation of a typical senior citizen’s voice at the Kisaragi man who shouted at her. “I have not moved for years…”
“Actually, it was just a year, Snake Woman, though the continued existence of your sense of humor still gives me hope! Anyway, I have good news!”
“Yay…” said a somewhat familiar voice which sounded as tired as Azami did.
“My son has come to visit!” the older Kisaragi then declared. “Isn’t that great?”
“I do not remember giving him a Snake, though,” Azami replied. “Where did you get yours, then, brat?”
“I got it from your granddaughter,” the addressed brat answered.
“Mary? Oh wait, yes…it was Mary…and I still cannot believe that that is possible…”
“Maybe that one Snake of yours allowed that…You know, the one that makes Mary go floating, scale-faced, and all that creepy stuff.”
“Oh yes, the Queen Snake…”
And now Azami found herself, once again, stuck in a dilemma she couldn’t get out of. Bored and unthanked medusa she may be, but destroyer of families she doesn’t want to be again.
“Would it be too much of a burden if she and all your other friends visit?” Azami then asked the Kisaragi boy. “They should be giving me gratitude at least once a year for their continued existence, after all.”
“Well, only Ayano and I have arrived, Ayano’s with her parents, and the others…” the Kisaragi boy paused to suck a breath, “I hope they don’t try to follow us.”
“Well, why not, you brat?” Azami then turned to stand up and face said brat, hair snakes pointing and hissing at him. “What is so difficult about dying without entering to the afterlife for a single day?”
“Uhh…the dying part is exactly why I think this isn’t a good idea…” the younger Kisaragi brat answered, arms in front of him as he wore an expression which seemed to be like the face that the Kido girl once referred to as “the lying businessman look.”
“YOU HAVE ALL DIED BEFORE, SO WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT DYING AGAIN!?” the medusa blasted back.
Suddenly, there was a loud scream coming from the distance.
“One, there’s that poor guy meeting his mother again…”
And then there was another loud scream coming from the distance.
“And there’s another poor guy who’s pretty much a kid…”
A high-pitched “I HATE DROWNING!” then sounded from the lake beside them.
“And then there’s Momo…”
“MOMO! I’LL SAVE YOU! YOUR FATHER WILL SAVE YOU FROM THAT MANHANDLING JUMPSUIT BOY AS WELL!”
“Yeah, this is awkward…” the Kisaragi brat boy continued, looking up to the sky. “At least I can trust Takane-senpai and Haruka-senpai to not add to this whole mess…especially since Takane-senpai’s stubborn yet smart, and Haruka-senpai’s body is just too durable to die via normal means.”
Ooh, now that sounded very interesting, especially that wonderful Takane he mentioned…but no! Azami could see through the brat and his attempt at a distraction! He does not understand how long time feels when one stays in the Heat-Haze Daze for a very long and prolonged amount of time!
And then from the distance, a deep scream of “I’m sorry!” echoed.
“Considering the depth of that voice and the way it echoed, that was probably that old four-eyed man getting kicked off a building by Kido and/or Hiyori,” the Kisaragi brat boy commented once again. “Especially Hiyori…” he muttered. “She’s still pissed about knowing that Haruka-senpai’s taken already…So, happy to know we’re here now?”
The glaring yet speechless Azami’s response to that was to lie down again and look at the sky.
After some moments of silence…
“Please tell Shion and Mary to come here and accompany me, boy,” she told the Kisaragi boy, all while the Kisaragi father’s lecturing for his embarrassed daughter and that jumpsuit boy who looked oddly familiar. “I need to do some lecturing for my family as well.”
“Will do,” the Kisaragi boy agreed, but then he got interrupted for a bit.
“Bring your girlfriend as well, Shintarou!” the Kisaragi father ordered. “I need to meet my future daughter-in-law in person!”
“Shut up, Dad!”
Oh well, at least the place isn’t that monotonous anymore.
Ah, and one more thing…
“We need to talk, boy,” Azami called, red eyes sharp as daggers at the green and jumpsuited one, the one she also knew as the boy who accompanied her granddaughter very much. “My granddaughter may have given a Snake to that boy in red over there, but I know she likes you more than that brat boy…and I know how much you are attached to her…”
“WHAT!? A TWO-TIMER!? HOW DARE – OW!”
“SILENCE!” “SHUT UP, DAD!”
Really, she should just kick them all out of the Daze and…Wait.
“WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THAT BEFORE!?” Azami screamed within the silence she and the Kisaragi son ordered.
What followed was Azami tearing her hair out…and yes, she was literally tearing her hair out.
As for the screams around Azami, well, they were ignored.
After all, why mind them when what she was doing was clearly a stroke of genius?
Author’s Note: I think I started writing this because of that upload by Jin (a.k.a. Shizen no Teki-P, so that you don’t confuse him with Kim Seokjin) during August 15. That upload was quite a surprise, indeed, and it got me realizing how much I’ve been changing. I still have his songs in my playlist, but they’re not quite as played as they were back then. Not like KagePro and his other stuff didn’t leave an impact on me – and really, they have a special place in my heart for getting me more into music, particularly in terms of production, and making me appreciate life a lot more – but I’ve been appreciating widening my horizons some more, you know? That, and although it can be a bumpy ride, I’ve been piecing myself together some more through exposing myself to a wider range of music, yo.
Anyway, more about this fanfic itself, well…I guess this shows how much I’ve been changing as well, although I think the changes that are shown here are more in terms of me as a writer. Like, I think I see myself being my now older self here, making fun of a bunch of childish things I once thought were great ideas.
Oh, and by the way, certain mostly unknown characters here were further characterized with personal speculations.
So yeah, with that, I would like to ask for honest constructive feedback yet again, dear readers.