I could take shots at people who forget that Easter is a Catholic event in the first place and all that here today, but I feel like I’d easily forget to think about it on a more personal level, so yeah, I’mma go for a personal reflection today. Also, yes, it’s been days since Easter Sunday, but I wanna make some reflections on Catholic events past Christmas more and more here, so yeah.
So, Easter. Pasko ng Pagkabuhay in Filipino. Christ did the Ultimate Sacrifice, and then He resurrected three days later. In the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene expected it more than Peter did, but she mistook the Lord for a gardener soon after. The first half was something that came to mind thanks to the priest’s homily during this year’s Easter Sunday, and the second half wasn’t covered in the Gospel reading for that same day, but connecting those got me fascinated. I mean, I got a look at how humble Mary Magdalene was there as well. She knew she was talking to Jesus soon enough, specifically when He called her by name, and thinking about it some more, I think I also saw God’s love some more there! Like, He could’ve struck her down for not recognizing Him so easily, but He didn’t. He probably expected that, even, but in the first place, He’s looking for faith, so that happened.
Thinking about all that further, I guess I gotta accept that I’ll feel moments of doubt and have slip-ups and all that at times. Along with that, whether constructive or destructive, other people will have to point out that I’m doing something wrong at times. I tend to try to get ahead of other people and their feedback, see, thinking myself perfectly self-aware, but if I can do that so easily, then there’d be no need for things like the workshops I have to go through during Creative Writing classes, and I wouldn’t need to worry about audience and critical reception when I put my creative works out there. All that racing I’m doing against my audience and critics just makes me look worse, and I guess all that is also why I have people telling me to stop saying “Sorry” so much. My faith in them is low, and with that, my faith in God would be low as well. I can still say that I have faith in myself there, but with those two accompanying voids, I’m just a selfish and arrogant nut.
And if I just let that be, then I’ll have a hard time thinking about how to get out of it. I’ll blame it all on others alone, and then I’ll think myself the best even while being the worst. Despair would eat at me more easily there, alright.
But then there’s God. Sounds easy, but it ain’t, yet He’s still there, bugging me to get up and take His hand and all that. I like to think that I hold on to Him well, but the slaps upon my face remind me of my blindness again, for what else can it be when the one doing the slapping is the Ultimate Ultimate who can make suffering redemptive? There’s this great source of strength waiting for me, and all I need to do is believe and let the divine work be done upon me. I can’t be perfect, but I can still believe in Perfection and be helped by Him, yeah?
And hey, if I were to think about this in tandem with Christmas, then I guess it’s like witnessing a promise fulfilled once again. God’s that awesome, alright. And I guess I should look up to Him when it comes to facing myself and my fellow idiots. I mean, I hate having to deal with idiots and all the crap they do, but then there’s God, who’s even willing to take the most humiliating schtick we can do to another human just to prove to us that He loves us very very much. And now, as I think again about the act of asking God to prove how much He loves us, I feel even more stupid once again, and I even feel like beating myself so hard again. But at the same time, I feel more hopeful and motivated, and I wanna get out of all that self-destruction. I’ll have to face the noise of the insecure and self-deprecating crowd who would rather keep me in misery’s love for company, but why should I give in to doubt when God’s around to help us all through each other, even when we suck? And if He can still do something great for us even with the moments when we refuse Him, then what more if we accept Him?
I should keep that in mind, alright. And ask y’all for feedback.
So yeah…feedback, please. Honest constructive feedback, please. 🙂
And of course, praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again for all the strength and the challenges! God Almighty keep on helping us all, too! \(^o^)/
The Overlord Bear's Den 