Suicidally Tsundere Guardian Angel

Suicidally Tsundere Guardian Angel

a prompted short story by The Overlord Bear

Prompt (from r/WritingPrompts): You survive a near fatal incident and devote your life to God. This angers Satan, who was responsible for saving your life.

Hey, you don’t need to kill yourself. You still have a lot of waifus to conquer, yes?

I was pretty sure that the Devil himself had tempted me back then. Still, I tried to look for hope through that stupid reason, and I kept myself from jumping off the window.

I never got myself a 3D girlfriend (unless it was CG, of course), but I did gain the guts to pursue my interests in more productive ways. I didn’t get a remarkable writing job (too much fitting in to do), but along with giving me good amounts of money, I manage to keep my fellow nerdy colleagues alive and motivated. I don’t have the purest of friends (most of them are like me: obsessed with eroge and harem anime), but at least they try to believe in God.

And speaking of which, my friends and I started believing in God after I shared to them my strange tale of overcoming my suicidal urges plus their own strange tales of enduring the pains of life. We realized that we found some better times despite all our stupid, and we ended up pretty sure that it wasn’t 100% our work.

“But what if it’s the Devil who helped us?”

“Eh, credit still goes to God. Lucifer was one of God’s angels, right?”

“That’d mean that he’s still a part of God’s creation, yeah?”

“If God’s so forgiving, then what does that make Satan?”

“A suicidally tsundere guardian angel?”

That conversation we had gave us quite a laugh, but still, we seriously believe that. If God can make room for sick idiots like us, then maybe God would actually make room for the Devil too. Of course, that’s if he decides to truly repent and beg for forgiveness and all that.

I said I did more good than the Creator did!

Again, I heard the Devil’s voice. I don’t know why he keeps on trying to put on this villainous act. He can still get God’s blessings if he dropped it and asked for His help.

Hello? Do you even know that you’re spouting blasphemy and heresy right there?

Well, maybe to a lot of us fellow foolish believers. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know yet. If I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. And even if I’m right, it’ll still hurt to admit and proclaim that in this world. But at least I can still be right, right?

What an idiot…What are you even talking about?

I can see that you hate yourself too, Lucy. I getcha there.

Sympathy for the Devil will get you nowhere in this world, you idiot. You’ll be nothing but a useless sack of shit.

But shit can be fertilizer, bro. Get your facts straight.

Goddamn it…

Now that’s definitely in vain.

Why, of course. It’s not like I care about that nepotistic idiot or anything…

Uh-huh. Are you serious?

Of course I’m serious!

So I went on another day, laughing at this hilariously raging voice in my head.

Author’s Note: So I decided to challenge myself some more this time. I applied what I learned as I worked on my Catholic fiction thesis in uni, though I do know that I still have a lot to learn, so yeah, I’d definitely appreciate feedback from the wiser faithful, too. God Almighty keep on helping us all!

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