a prompted short story by The Overlord Bear

Prompt (from r/WritingPrompts): “You made a deal with a demon to be the best negotiator to ever exist. You then used this power to successfully bargain for HIS soul. Satan is not amused.”

Okay, I knew this was coming. Or maybe I should say this: I’ve already lost count of how many idiots like you tried to one-up me that way. I mean, hello, do you know why I’m called the Prince of Lies? I may not be the creator of your shit there, but man, do I know how to fuck it all up.

So, you asked for “the power to be the best negotiator to ever exist” in exchange for your soul. I certainly made you much like my awesome self, then, as keeping promises is the ultimate standard in my Kingdom, and any deals you make with those of my Kingdom will have to follow its rules, which I’m sure you already know. So yeah, congratulations, ‘cause you’re now the Ruler of Hell!

Now, when you got that power, you specifically asked for “the soul of He Who Rules All Hell to be under the control of the Ruler with Actual Humanity.” I can see that you’re trying very hard to be very careful about your words here, but you forgot some very important facts about you and me: You are now the Ruler of Hell, while I am a Ruler with Actual Humanity. The Nepotist Up There made me too, you know? I could go back and be a good little angel, but no, that shit’s just out to make me suffer.

Oh, you can control my soul as much as I can control yours? My, I think I forgot to tell you something: I’m actually She Who Rules All Hell now. Since when? Do you even have to ask? Now get on your knees and suck my dick, or I’ll shove your skull into it myself.

Author’s Note: Yeah, lot of dark thoughts in my mind lately. God Almighty keep on helping us all.

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