An Artist-Lawyer Hook-Up Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Copyright Immunity!
a Gintama x Persona 5 fanfiction by The Overlord Bear
Summary: By the desires of a voice acting geek, Gintoki Sakata suddenly finds himself as the mind of Yusuke Kitagawa. Also, Tsukuyo’s a lawyer, Kagura’s an idol, and Shinpachi’s a disembodied voice (“HEY, I’M MISHIMA, YOU BASTARD!”).
“YUSUKE, I NEED YOUR ARTISTIC POWERS! A VERY URGENT COMMISSION HAS BEEN ORDERED UPON ME!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU OLD HAG! LEMME DREAM ABOUT BEING YUUKI RITO!”
Gintoki Sakata didn’t care if Lala sounded like his female version. The more important questions were these: Why wasn’t he getting an alien harem like Rito did? And why wasn’t he allowed to go all the way with at least dreaming of having one in his sleep?
And then the silence was comfortable…too comfortable.
“Wait, ‘Yusuke?'” Gintoki repeated, opening his eyes as he found himself in a very Japanese but very unfamiliar place. Scanning his mind, he also found very important info. “Maybe my mind may not be so up to speed, but these hands…maybe they have memories of his ability…I hope so, ’cause I really want to make some very lewd stuff and pass it off as high art…”
But since this is Gintoki we’re talking about, we may need to set aside more serious concerns for later.
“Did you just…speak to me…like you were…a delinquent…Yusuke?”
Looking at this old man, Gintoki saw some Boss Subtitles:
Your Mom’s Rip-Off Artist
“Huh, so what’s dangerous about this one?” Gintoki thought out loud. “Then again, he sounds like a pompous geezer…”
“YOU DARE INSULT ME, YUSUKE!?” the pompous geezer suddenly shouted. “AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU!? HAVE YOU CONSUMED SOME ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!?”
“Sheesh, either you never read doujinshi or you read too much doujinshi,” Gintoki replied, picking an ear with a pinky finger. “Nothing beats Jump, though, but a man can dream, yeah?”
“DOUJINSHI!? JUMP!? HAVE YOU GONE MAD AND CONSUMED SUCH LOWBROW SUBSTANCES!?”
“Most doujinshi, maybe, but definitely not Jump,” Gintoki declared, standing up as he kept in mind the fact that he was in the body of a Persona 5 character voiced by Tomokazu Sugita. “Though that’s probably just some foreign fame-chasing fanfiction author’s guess-based opinion on things. Would I be right if I said ‘You’re worse than the Gorilla,’ then?”
“GORILLA!?” the pompous geezer then went like a dog whistle, as he didn’t have the mind of a Gintama character. “YUSUKE!”
If Yusuke were the one listening, then he would’ve been scared. But since Gintoki was the one listening…
“Okay, I should get myself some strawberry sundaes first…” said the White Demon in the future Fox’s body as he stood up and walked away, even knocking out the charging pompous geezer via suddenly closed door. “Can’t start writing and drawing without enough sweets…”
“So, you okay now, Mishima?”
When Shinpachi Shimura woke up, he saw curly hair.
And then Shinpachi was grabbed by the hair.
“I ain’t getting fucking Takamaki right now, so why don’t you call Suzui for me later?” said Gin-san(?), whose Boss Subtitles showed up:
Went Into Volleyball Just to Score
After some moments of silence and a look at the nearby mirror, Shinpachi realized that he was demoted to a worse kind of plain.
Fortunately, Shinpachi held the power of lifelong companionship with the craziest people in the universe…well, his universe, at least. That aside, all he was missing now was a Persona and the power of the Wild Card. But he did have other powers…
“…already dead?” the curly bastard finished with a smirk. “Heh, I know Fist of the North Star, bitch. You think I’m that du – ”
“YOUR MOTHER WAS A *BLEEP*!”
Such as the ability to punch like a more controlled Saitama through the power of no glasses and a lot of Otsu appeciation.
“If this were a more serious story, then this would just be cheap,” Shinpachi snarked. “And really, you’re not having this guy dead yet, huh? I’m seriously concerned about your character and reputation, then,” he added as he looked at the volleyball coach he actually just knocked out.
Suddenly, the door to the infirmary opened, revealing a teacher, three high school students, and a cat. All of them definitely didn’t look like they came from the time of the samurai.
“Mishima?” they all shouted. “Kamoshida?” they added as they saw the curly bastard’s…head in the ceiling.
“Wow…” said a blonde guy to another curly-haired guy. “I think we should have him join us, Ren.”
CV: Light Yagami
“He’s definitely forgiven now,” the curly-haired guy answered.
CV: Lelouch Lamperouge
“Ahem?” the teacher interrupted. “Whatever you’re planning, you may need to think about. The school’s bound to cover this up, whether we like it or not.”
CV: Nagisa Shiota
“But I’ve had enough of being propositioned by that creep!” screamed a girl with blue eyes and a lighter shade of blonde hair. “Aren’t you going to help us, Kawakami-sensei?”
CV: Fate Testarossa
“I feel like I got watered down as a straight man…” Shinpachi muttered. “And I’ve gotten too used to this comedy crap…and you do know that those voice talents are known for a lot more roles than those, right?”
“I swear, they’re not even possessed. I wonder where Gin-san and Kagura are, though?”
“Breaking News: Idol Rise Kujikawa assaults several people and goes on stolen bike joyride during latest fan meeting!”
“Huh, some things never change,” Gintoki commented as he walked by and took a peek at some public television screens. “I’m gonna change how broke I am, though,” he continued as he fiddled with his empty pockets again. “Maybe I shouldn’t have used all my remaining money to get my hair fixed first…but that blue bowl looked so weird…Eh, better to look like the Jump hero that I am…”
“Oh hey, Drunk Terminator, you got some mo…ney…?”
The voice was definitely Tsukuyo’s, but that hair…that look…
Worst Enemy of Punks Feeling Lucky
“Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult to me?” Gintoki asked as he looked at the silver hair of the prosecutor who was currently housing the mind of Tsukuyo, the Courtesan of Death. “And who knew that someone of your caliber could fit in an office? And what’s with those subti – ”
And then Gintoki’s head was underneath the sidewalk. Nobody bothered them because of the loud and nameless harassing boy and the strong and famous defending woman.
“You should’ve added ‘intimidating…'” Gintoki commented, only to get his crotch kicked by Tsukuyo. “OW! Hey, I need those to determine mature doujinshi quality! OW!”
“Ugh, I wanna smoke,” grumbled the courtesan in a lawyer’s body, “But I don’t think that’d be a good idea, especially considering the woman I’m standing in for. You should give the boy you’re possessing some respect, too, Gintoki.”
“Well, getting one over his rip-off master and opening the boy’s eyes to doujinshi and Jump all count!” Gintoki raised a finger in response, only to get a stomp to the balls. “OW!”
“Hm? Oh, the younger sister.”
Pulling himself out of the extra bedrock, Gintoki saw Tsukuyo facing a brown-haired girl who looked similar to Sae Niijima. The younger sister looked quite plain…but the character voice made Gintoki think otherwise.
CV: Mikoto Misaka
“What were you doing?” the cloneable tsundere goody two-shoes asked, and then she looked at her “older sister’s” victim. “Oh, wait, I think I get it now. Sorry for assuming, Sis.”
“Oi, I’m just a high schooler!” Gin lied for his pride. “And I was just admiring your sis – Ow! I thought this guy should get more respect!” he also ended up squeaking.
Gintoki was in too much pain to make another crack at the ladies at that moment, so he decided to move to a more important question: “Can you help me not be broke?”
“Oh yeah, you were asking for money when we came across each other,” Tsukuyo remembered. “Did you spend it all on hair dye and strawberry sundaes?”
“I haven’t eaten a single strawberry sundae yet!” Gintoki shouted back. “Aren’t lawyers rich? C’mon, at least treat me to one!”
“Ugh, will you stop bothering us?” the clone base stepped forward. “I don’t know who you are or why my sister is acting strange today, but unlike her, you’re an irritating stranger. Do you want another foot up there, then?”
“I won’t be giving you a single coin, that’s for sure,” Gintoki replied.
“Huh? What do you mean?” asked the somewhat innocent girl.
“Well, if you’re not that nerdy, then…I don’t do middle schoolers?”
There was silence, Tsukuyo facepalming, and then the clone base blushing so hard that Gintoki decided to make a run for it before all that red converged into one eye within the darkness.
“DAMNED WRITER LITERALLY PUTTING DAMNED WORDS IN MY MOUTH!” he also shouted.
And then he passed by a certain someone.
CV: Kousuke Seto
“STOP SHOVING YOUR OBSCURE AND EDGY TASTES UP MY ASS, YOU CREEPY BASTARD BOUND FOR A LAWSUIT!” Gintoki yelled.
CV: Tatsuma Sakamoto
But before Gintoki could curse any further, a truck suddenly glomped him.
And now, let’s take a look at our adorable Geroine!
“RISE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?”
CV: Shikamaru Nara
“AND HOW DID SHE GET ALL MUSCLY JUST BY EATING MYSTERY FOOD X!? HOW COULD SHE EVEN EAT IT!?”
“Oh, you sound like someone Gin-san would love to imitate, uh-huh,” Kagura replied to the brown-haired guy with headphones. “And thanks for not putting this delicious food in the trash! I don’t think I’ve ever had anything this good in my life before, uh-huh!”
And then a truck hit the idol’s body as Kagura ran to the streets again.
But since our adorable Geroine’s powering Risette’s body at the moment, it was the truck that got crumpled and sent to another world instead.
Meanwhile, the still whipped ninja wannabe and the mascot detective bear-thing punslinger could only panic for a long while before calling up the rest of their squad.
Now, on to another silver-haired star of this fanfic!
“Huh, I’m a Persona character?” asked a certain voice shared with one Haru Okumura. “And considering the lack of censoring, this is probably some creepy fan’s work. Probably some egotistic psycho who can only write porn that only he can be turned on by, too.”
“Okay, Haru,” said a veeeery nearby man, “Why don’t you ditch the clothes and give Daddy some love?”
Too Sleazy to Have a First Name or Two Names or Whatever
“Oh, I see how it is.”
Ginko decided to check herself, and then she grinned.
“You’re already dickless.”
“Wait, wh – AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“Huh, neat,” Ginko instinctively commented on the profusely bleeding thing in her hand. “Wait, why is there so much blood? Is this one of your instinctively written bad jokes again?”
And then Haru’s father walked in.
“Oh, hey, Dad,” Ginko greeted with Sugimura’s bleeding thing.
Meanwhile, Kunikazu grabbed his own crotch, while his glasses shone over his eyes. In other words, he had some flashbacks to the last time he ever had sex.
“I don’t know what to say about your tastes in women,” Ginko told all the men involved in this scene as she wandered away into the strange world she was sent to. “Now, I wonder where I can find some strawberry sundaes and silver hair dye…?”
“Ugh, I actually died…via truck…and then those bystander idiots dared to reference isekai light novels instead of Yu Yu Hakusho…What did we senior citizens do wrong…?”
Fortunately, Yusuke Kitagawa would make a miraculous recovery.
Unfortunately, Gintoki was somewhere in the…afterlife?
“Wait, who are you people?” the silver soul asked.
“It’s Katsura,” said an emo-looking guy hanging on a wall with his arms spread out.
CV: Kotaro Katsura
“Blurayko,” followed a weird blonde bob lady in blue.
“Huh, who knew that you’d be stuck with an Elizabeth here too, Zura?” Gintoki grinned. “Good luck with trying to get out of this place, though~”
“IT’S NOT ZURA, IT’S KATSURA!” came the expected response.
“This is a wonderful place,” the crappy navigator thought out loud. “I’m glad you’re all here with me, too.”
“We can come back from the dead like in Dragon Ball, though, right?” Gintoki started panicking, realizing that, yes, he had more or less died.
“I’m in the Persona 3 protagonist’s body,” Katsura noted. “He’s quite a brave warrior, sacrificing his very own life for all of humanity to defeat a terrifying Amanto. It feels like an honor, though one too good for me to deserve.”
“And of all the characters I could swap with, I ended up with a dead guy.”
CV: Toushirou Hijikata
“Oh well, at least Sougo’s not around to bug me,” the Shinsengumi Vice-Captain tried to smile.
“CAN I ESCAPE THIS DAMN PLACE!?” Gintoki screamed.
“Meanwhile, there’s these guys…” Hijikata sighed. “And I still pity whoever ends up with Sougo, considering how he’s definitely swapped with someone in this universe…”
“You have a very beautiful voice,” said one young man who was named Sho Minazuki.
“…Thank you?” replied one confused Aigis, who had been pointing her literal handguns at the guy.
And then Sougo attacked again. He didn’t have his bazooka, but he did have some nice psychic explosives.
“Breaking News: Diet Member Masayoshi Shido has been attracting attention via cardboard sign conversations while wearing a black hooded cape over a penguin costume!”
And then came some stranger chaos over 21st Century Japan.
“Wait, where are you going, you crazy author?”
Needless to say, this just became too complicated for our dear lazy writer at the moment. Maybe someone else would like to continue this?
Shinpachi? Who’s that? That guy’s still in his world, ’cause his glasses are still there. No other pair of glasses can replace Shinpachi!
“YOU’RE REALLY INSULTING ME, AREN’T YOU, YOU DESPERATE COWARD!?”
Oh hey, no need for an Author’s Note section this time, ’cause I already made it! What a creative psycho I am, then~ X”D
Next Part: “Today’s Meal: Purple Prose!”