A Life Beyond Karma
some insomniac musings by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo
Somehow, I get all these blessings even though I’m a big jerk, much like how all those actual heroes get suffering for being who they are.
What goes around, comes around. That’s what they say. It makes me paranoid everyday. For every blessing I get, I grow a seed of doubt within me. I know my faults, and I remember humanity’s typical desired punishments for them, but I also reject all the blessings that would actually help me grow from this faulty jerk and into a better person.
What goes around, comes around. That’s how most of us think life should work. That’s why we rant and rave so much about what we deserve. We claim to hate things like entitlement, yet we keep on believing in this apparently sensible thing that perpetuates such madness.
What goes around, comes around. We also call it “karma.” We also know it as “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” It’s not even Christian, yet we Christians believe in it. Something something Golden Rule. But God loved us first, and He loves us even though we don’t deserve it and even though we suck at proportionally loving Him back. And the way He works is similar to karma, but it’s just similar to and not exactly like karma.
What goes around, comes around. Does it, now? If there’s anything clearer than that, then it’s how my hate for myself makes me hate others, whether or not I become popular because of it. If I’m getting the karmic punishments I should get while my fellow sinners aren’t, then what do you think I’d do if I keep on believing in that madness?
Reality will never be as karmic as we like our fiction to be. Stuff does go around, but it’s not always the same things that went that will come back around. For better or worse, God’s gifts will make sure of that. And He wholeheartedly gives us those gifts, always expecting us to use them well, even as He is aware of the possibility of us sinful humans abusing them. He’d even help us do what He wants if we just ask for it and go along with Him. Maybe we can even say that life is more powered by “luck” than by karma. And I say “luck” because it’ll usually seem like so to most of us foolish humans and our low self-esteem. God’s blessings and our use of it all seem like luck, but they are also beyond luck.
A life beyond karma…Jesus also lived such a life here on earth, especially considering His Passion. And He, along with the Father and the Holy Spirit, continues to have us live such a life. A lot of people, myself included, still feel baffled by it at best and insulted at worst, but trying it out bit by bit…well, I’m starting to think that the guilt I get from it is way more convincing and motivating than the guilt caused by all those karma threats we tend to throw around. My sinfulness isn’t fearfully unacknowledged, yet I’m also not carelessly asked to make myself rot further. My virtuousness is shown to be ignored a lot by most people, but at least I’m not pushed to be an attention whore about it.
Whether or not the world goes along with it, you and I can choose to be good. This lowly human praises and thanks God very much again, then, and he wishes that He keep on helping us all.