Why I Shouldn’t Be Your Boyfriend

Why I Shouldn’t Be Your Boyfriend

some insomniac musings by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo

Like not being an idol is that easy.

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1. I’m horny everyday.

And even if I hooked up a smoking hot woman who’s horny everyday, we’d break up soon enough because we’re insatiable.

2. I’m willing to simp for sex.

You think I like what you like? I’m dumber than us idiot boys’ images of girls.

3. I think love is love and power and fame and sex and selfishness and –

I still have a hard time believing that Christ didn’t rip his enemies’ hearts out or something when He was arrested and all. And social justice? Will that get me more hot ladies to bang more easily?

4. I like to blame others for my own faults and use others’ faults to justify my own faults, whether or not those others directly wronged me.

Maybe I’m wrong, but you’re also wrong, right?

5. I dream of hoarding hot girls.

And then I’d complain even if they actually fawn over me.

6. I have a hard time being physically fit.

And I don’t believe in that “body positivity” crap, especially not with health problems being associated with stuff like obesity, but as much as I wish to be physically fit…

7. I have an unpopular degree of mental illness.

I’m a slobby manchild who abused a girlfriend before, and even though I don’t like it, I still have a hard time believing how to prevent it.

8. I could be gay, but I’d rather be straight.

Or maybe I’m cis straight this whole time. Or the worst cis straight scum humanity has ever had.

9. I want to be Catholic.

Expect me to be prudish as well.

10. I’m a guy.

I have too much power in my hands?