Twilight the Toegem

Twilight the Toegem

a hololive fanfiction by The Overlord Bear

Summary: The Big Boss of Hell has had enough of a bumbling Screwtape descendant named Twilight.


“Yes?”

Boss, this is Twilight speaking with good news!”

I narrowed my eyes at that declaration.

“Do tell me what you mean by ‘good news,’ Twilight.”

I’ve finally made my concert debut! Though everyone keeps on calling me an angel for some reason…I swear, I’ve been doing the most devilish acts ever!”

I sighed. Not surprising, but very disappointing.

“Examples of your devilish acts, please?”

Devilish acts like keeping phone and laptop chargers unplugged! Oh, and slapping ”For Sale’ signs on people’s backs!”

As expected. Another sigh.

“And you messed with an angel’s halo?”

Oh yeah, I did that too! I think I even managed to get her on our side, judging from how she took the donut swapping and frisbee tossing nicely!”

And of course she’d forget about the whole damn spy business. I really should’ve stopped deluding myself earlier on while modifying a Screwtape descendant, then. Still, that damn bloodline really is cursing me for generations…

“That’s the spy partner I’ve been asking you to work with closely this whole time, Toegem. Not those human degenerates. Not your vastly superior succubus senior. Not that sheep, though she’s also way more devilish than you. And not even that wildcard dragon. No one else but that angel going by the name of Kanata Amane.”

Wait, really? Oh yeah, you were an angel before, Boss! I’m really sorry for not understanding well for so long! I mean, you’re all so great at disguises, you know? I’ll make it up to you, okay? Also, my name is Twilight of the Everlasting Darkness! Even if you’re the Big Boss of Hell, I’m not letting anyone insult me there especially!”

She even has the guts to talk back to me there now. Maybe even trying to be a true-blue virgin as well. I guess I hoped too much even during that Mysterious Background Men Incident…

“If by ‘Everlasting Darkness,’ you mean ‘Everyday Idiocy,’ then you certainly have a fitting last name, Toegem.”

Wait, did I just do something very devilish right now?”

True devilish acts benefit me, The Devil, Toegem of Everyday Idiocy.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”

I guess?”

Then I won’t.

“I will not spell it out for you, then, Toegem.”

Boss, you’re really being mean right now, you know? I mean, I know you gotta be bad, but you gotta have some care for us underlings of yours! It’s weird to know that my underlings consider me nicer than you, too!”

And of course she’ll lecture me like that stuffy Old Man and His Carbon Copy and Their Imaginary Friend. May they all be damned, indeed.

“It’s nice to see your pride in action, Toegem, but first and foremost, you are my servant. My underling. My slave. You can prevent yourself from being one of our home’s daily meals, but none of you will ever take my spot as King. And I may forgive, but I am not as stupid and emotional as our Ultimate Enemy with all that hackery He calls ‘love.’ But of course, you do not understand all that, right? You’re a Screwtape descendant, after all.”

Who’s Screwtape?”

Oh damnation, I erased her memories of that. Keep your Cool, Big Boss. Keep your Ninth Circle Cool.

“No one you should know about, Twilight.”

Nice, you’re calling me Twilight again!”

And now’s the time to spit that Cool upon her inherently treacherous soul.

“And I am now banishing you to the earth.”

Huh?”

Next up, explain banishment conditions.

“You will be denied access to Hell indefinitely, unless you are to die and our Ultimate Enemy rejects your presence in His Overly Bright Abode. But should you be granted access to Hell, it shall only be for you to be a serving of our daily meals.”

No…No!”

Oh yes, Twilight the Toegem of Everlasting Idiocy. Oh yes.

“And as you walk the earth, you shall lose your demonic powers, though you shall keep that tail of yours for humanity to rain evil upon you. And one more thing, Twilight.”

Whatever more you say, I will be able to handle it, you monster!”

Oh, you will not be able to handle this.

“Your familiar named Bibi? He has no existence at all.”

NO! That’s a lie! That’s impossible!”

I really should’ve kept myself from loving her foolishness in the first place.

“Search your feelings, Twilight. You know it to be true.”

And so I hung up on her, letting out a great laugh as she let out delicious cries of denial.

“At least this day has some pleasures,” I smiled as I took out a hand mirror and looked at my wonderful self in it. “Hm, I really need some more beauty sleep.”

“YeAh, bOSS, YoU lOoK LIkE sPOIled CAaaAkE~”

Then I frowned at my secretary for today. She was chewing bubble gum, and she had that tail microphone of hers to her mouth again.

“You are not helping, Aloe. Anyway, at least I still look lovelier than Twilight…”

“YeEeeeEEEAAAaaaaaAhHHHhhH~”


Author’s Note: You probably won’t believe me, but I also like trying to be that sort of religious.

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