Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – August 2022

You know, I guess having tuned into holostars English as much as I have so far filled my time even better than I expected, considering how stressed I was by traveling around for my work ATM card and having to deal with my immediate family’s house’s Internet connection being hard to work with in terms of streaming. Call me shallow, especially since the work I’m aiming to do with the practice isn’t really up there in terms of secure ways to earn a living, but yeah, been having the itch to practice streaming even more than I expected, especially with stabler hardware, as shown by my more recent Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 and The Silver Case stream episodes in particular, with the Valkyria Chronicles stream episodes being a contrast out of great luck as well, long stream times aside. Though I also found myself pushing myself too hard about participating in the fandom again while getting into Tempus, trying to commit to a fan Discord server until I found myself burnt out around a crowd again. Makes me wonder why I still try to do these attempts at making a name for myself when I could just shut up and game and read and watch with all this money I’m getting…Oh, yeah, I wanna have bros and rivals I can make worthwhile art with, which Tempus helped me understand and appreciate further along with other parts of my self. There’s also getting the girl, because hey, I’m actually cishet trash. I guess because of that madness as well, I’m feeling lucky that those meme vids and vlogs of mine didn’t get a single update before this post. I mean, I’ve been feeling like the creep I’ve been struggling to overcome some more with them, you know? And the moments when people actually have been out for my blood are way rarer than I like to think. Now that’s what’s truly the most frustrating thing about me lately.

But more on the bright side, I’d like to send thanks to AK Enoch for having me in a fun recent video of his, which is about the so-called “perfectly cut scream.” Been over a year since my playlist of others’ shows I’m featured in got updated, too. And I honestly haven’t been tuning into his content much, so yeah, I’m surprised that he still has that much trust in me. Then again, I guess I can make stuff like this Bear Lords It Over You vid. And then there’s how this blog is already nine years old.

Also being another confidence boost is the feedback I’ve been getting on my English cover of Izuru Kanade’s “Monologue in a row.” A freaking difficult production to work on, and I’m wishing that someone would outdo me in covering the song in English, but still. I’d also like to give a shout-out to RingNin, a skilled, hardworking, and modest Youtaite whom I first encountered showing appreciation for my Kagerou Day/Azami birthday commemoration release that is my English cover of “days.”

And hey, I got to post four poems this month! I got one with the love-and-war theme, one with the love-and-treasure theme, one with the death-seeking theme, and one about, well, words. And so far, there’s one more I consider ready for upload in my production queue, which, needless to say, will show up on this blog next month.

As for more talk about plans for next month’s blog posts, I’m also hoping to post one or two music uploads and, surprisingly, one fanfic! Even more surprising is how they all started out of impulse! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again for that and more, then!

So yeah, I’m itching for some more honest constructive feedback again. And may He keep on helping us all!

Izuru Kanade – Monologue in a row – TOB English Cover

Long-winded thoughtful lyrics plus emotional vocals, so much that they sound too good to form an idol song, sounds like a combo I’d rock with real good, and what held me back from appreciating Izuru Kanade’s first original song along with the rest of holostars’ music earlier was, yet again, my lust for fame, among other things. And yes, holoPro cover again, and a holostars solo again! Still gonna be surprised if this blows up like my last holostars solo cover, too.

Also, yes, it was definitely tough working on this thanks to the length, and I felt it the hardest while recording the vocals with my usual insistence on the one-shotting recording method, where I record myself singing through the whole song as one sort of track (main or harmony or ad-libs or, in case of inevitable overlap, a mix of those) rather than line by line or stanza by stanza to be sorted later on. Even more so when I had to change up some lyrics after a recording session and submission, so yeah, big apologies along with the thanks to DarkHole, who I commissioned to do audio engineering for me again. Dude had to deal with stuff like my breath struggles in the choruses and in the bridge, too. And speaking of the bridge, to my surprise, it’s what I consider the favorite part of my cover overall, and that’s on top of the bridge being my favorite part of the song itself.

I’d also like to kinda vaguely point out the redundancy in a certain set of chorus lines, that one being the clearest evidence of how I wrote this translation to be more self-asserting than the original, as the limits of my brain felt like going more literal in parts like that would result in something a bit too pathetic for my localization-obsessed butt. As for the video, yeah, check out those long lines and them overlapping fades.

Now, if you want to squeeze more behind-the-scenes talk from me, do leave some honest constructive feedback at least, okay? Also, here’s the mp3 for this cover, and here’s the lyrics sheet. Don’t forget to credit and link me if you’re gonna use my stuff, too.

Godslayer’s Conundrum

For the first time in this series, it ain’t the Devil I’m roleplaying as, but it still has something to do with the divine and all that because I think as an artist today, it’s very easy to think oneself a god or a demon or whatever it is we fools like to call the ultimate being these days. And apparently, it’s all good as long as we ourselves don’t know that we’re doing wrong or that we didn’t mean to do wrong. It’s all good with copium and proudly endorsing it, in other words! Not some totally new problems, though, just some old problems with a setting update, and we seem to be quite inclined towards nostalgia, so hey, have this scenario that hopefully screams medieval fantasy setting to you!

Also, I had this idea of having my voice acting here be less hammy or more like cold ham, but before I realized that I forgot how to do it, coming across Keith Silverstein’s performance as Zhongli in Genshin Impact gave me a solid idea about how to give a voice to this character. As for the character art, some chats with indie Pinay VTuber Louri Chishino got me referred to Encore Jack, whose work here has me feeling more and more like I got more than what I paid for. And with this awesomeness, I decided to put a bit more thought into my video effects and editing.

Now, you might notice that this series has been updated monthly, and you might expect this series to be further updated monthly, so I’d like to say that I might do some skips here and there because of how I decide on using my funds, which is currently very music-oriented. You may offer to provide me scripts and/or art for this series for free if you want me to continue this monthly update streak, but as more pleasing that would be to me, please remember that you’ll also be adding extra burdens upon yourself there. That said, I’d more recommend giving me honest constructive feedback and/or a share of my stuff to other folks.

Jin (Shizen no Teki-P) ft. Lia – days – TOB English Cover

Late to the KagePro English cover bandwagon, late to finding out about the death of Ai Kamachi, yeah, nothing new to this slow guy. But it’s a weekend that’s the closest I can get to celebrating this year’s August 15, which is also the birthday of our little snake granny Azami, so yeah, I got this cover ready with what I consider my best right now.

And I did cover this song TV-sized with an acoustic arrange before. The difference in style and quality then and now may be different, especially with the number of years in between them, but either way, this song is very much within my abilities, though I’m sure Lia has the more heartrending performance, given how much she made me cry with her voice while I was watching sidu’s music video, especially past what the TV-sized version covers. As for the translyrics, I had fun whacking my pretentious sense of poetry into my more specific depiction of Azami’s character. And I gotta hand the credit for the audio engineering to Shig again, especially with those loud and clear vocals with the touching reverb.

Also, I don’t think I’ve actually watched anime for a long while now, clips and glimpses aside. Last I seriously watched was Ao-chan Can’t Study!, I think. More in the mood for manga and anime and music and video games and VTubers right now. Probably to a workaholic level, even. And I still haven’t totally read the KagePro light novels and manga. Anyway, if I were to watch anime again, I think I’d like to do it with a loved one, though my expectations for that are low, considering my taste and manners. Still thinking that I’ll have to watch anime again eventually, though, and I hope I help make sure that it’s truly worth everyone’s while.

Anyway, I digress. Here are the mp3 and the lyrics sheet now, and please remember to credit and link me if you want to use my stuff. Also, again, honest constructive feedback, please.

Dishonest Death Seeker’s Depths

Dishonest Death Seeker’s Depths

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo

My wish for death is a lie
For I only seek to cheat it
To wrench its scythe from its hands
To reap fruits at my leisure
Fruits I never sowed, never grew
But the heavens already blessed me with
All for weeds that would only spoil those fruits
Weeds that could be more than such but would rather not
Weeds like me if I keep this up.

Deep inside, I do not wish to die
I only envy death’s life
Being turned into a friend of the heavens
As if I am a monster worse than death
As if I never liked being a monster
But I am
And I never did.

Still Your Treasure

Still Your Treasure

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo

Why entrust to me these scraps
When they are your treasures?
I already have my own, and they do not blend with yours.

My treasures are a burden to me too
Just like yours are to you
But they are the best burdens we can have
Even with the distance between us two.

And even then, if the heavens would change mine
I would let my treasure be changed
And my grumbling humiliated.

Maybe your scraps would be my treasure too
But it will always be your treasure
Whether shared or not
So trust in the miracle
That makes who you truly are.

War Confession

War Confession

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo

I’ve heard us say that love is war
Along with our proclamations against such madness
So this warmth I feel when I think of you
Would you call it my simmering hatred?

You will receive my support
My time, my money, my strength
My whole self, but do not ask for my love
Or I will make you keep those scraps I’ll give

I will obey what you want
Like you’re above the God I believe in
But if you dare ask for my love
I will treat you like a fellow scumbag.

The world can try to paint it as a comedy
But we’ll laugh at each other’s bleeding bodies
If we ever ask for each other’s love
And free us from all this lying.