I think I’ve been around a month at my grandparents’ place already. And judging from my increased comfort thanks to having more room for me, my stuff, and my solitude here, I think my recent bout of slowness about going through life here, especially making my Tobbyworks, is me regressing into idle wanderings to the trivial and perverted as I sober up about and run away from how horrible a bunch of my current interests actually are again and/or me further experiencing growing pains as I learn and do better. For one, I left the few remaining fan Discord servers I was in, as I had to remember that I have a very low social battery. I’ve also been buying and reading more light novels and manga via Bookwalker. And then there are also games on Steam, like The Silver Case, which I’ve been streaming along with Valkyria Chronicles and Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2, though I’ve been streaming games and even gaming off-stream less since the last monthly digest. After all, there’s also the matter of sleep, which I’ve been struggling to have some more, and that issue seems to have acted up further as I posted this month’s features on this blog:
- an English cover of Jin’s (Shizen no Teki-P) “ZIGI,” another track from his Allegories mini album
- “Just Proud of You, Never Loving You,” the start of a villain roleplay monologue video series called Bear Lords It Over You
- “From Prison, The TV Killer,” a Persona 4 fan song and my first Bandcamp and priced release
I think the second and third make the first one look like light work, though. The first one’s a sort of thing I’ve sort of gotten used to doing, then I tried to crack open my thinking process for writing and acting the Devil in the second, and then I decided to go name-your-price last-minute in the third. All while starting the writing of the blog posts in the late hours of the upload days themselves rather than in advance. And while obsessing over being a schmooze as an artist, which I feel like I’ve been doing way more than I’ve been doing in my day job. I feel like I barely even schmooze at my day job!
I think the core issue here is, yet again, FOMO. The feeling of missing out. And considering stuff like my latest vlogs and meme vid, which might as well be considered my usual vent posts already, I’m desperately dealing with it as well. Again. Maybe I do have to catch up with some things, but no matter how many they should be, I really should go about them one at a time. I don’t need to fake it ’til I make it. I don’t even need to brag about it! The wonders of my life years before are proof of that, and I was also suckier back then, so what more will I get as this improved easy-to-miss guy?
So yeah, on the even brighter side, while I may be planning to stick to two music posts a month for the time being for the sake of saving up for stuff like original song production while keeping up stuff like them villain roleplay monologue vids, I’ve gotten inspiration to write stuff like fanfiction and Tobby’s Recommendation Yells again. If they don’t really materialize, then hey, I hope I take a good break at least, ’cause I want and probably need more of that. God Almighty keep on helping us all, alright.
And again, I’d like some honest constructive feedback.