Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – April 2017

A month with no blog posts? Talk about angsting, Tobby~

So yeah, hi. It’s me, The Overlord Bear, and I’m here with this late monthly update post.

The previous month’s been one very tough month for me, with a special mention going to my parents, particularly my mother, for snapping me out of that angsting. Also, more and more, I’m realizing how much make other people look worse in my own perception. I’d try to blame a certain bunch of people I’ve been hanging around with a lot during the recently past days, but that would be hypocritical. Along with that is working harder towards true improvement, ’cause rubbing my weaknesses into my own face really doesn’t help.

And right now, I’m trying to save what I can from this university semester I’m having trouble with. I almost decided to stop going to school, but I was reminded about who I really want to be, so yeah, I still am and still will be going to uni classes with the same course I enrolled for with the best of my abilities. Good thing my parents, among other people, are around to help me out. Thank God very much, indeed.

By the way, I feel like “We Don’t Believe What’s on TV” is appropriate at this point.

Anyway, I got good news, and it’s that I’ve been making progress with two original short stories I’ve been writing. One’s in Filipino, and another’s in English. Both of them have gone through beta reader review, which I’ll likely be checking out after I feel settled regarding this current uni semester. Also, I’ve managed to get an illustrator to start working on a cover drawing for the Filipino short story, which I couldn’t have done without my dear sister’s help. And as for when those stories will finally be uploaded to the viewing public, well, that’ll be one mostly (at least) sudden thing, okay?

Oh, and fanfiction…Although I’ve been having reduced frequency of presence in the Professor Arc Forum, I’ve been writing stuff in The Writer Games: Forum Edition thread there. Wandering Weiss is somewhat at a standstill in terms of production right now, though I’ve been having ideas for its future chapters. I also managed to progress in the writing of another Your Name. fanfic, and yes, I still feel surprise at the reception of my first one, although it’s not like I don’t enjoy the good reception I’ve been receiving.

And suddenly, I remembered those crappy Touhou fanfics of mine, which I had already deleted from the great blue electronic ocean. Oh well, what matters is that I’m an improved writer now, and I really need to keep on improving, yo~

Also, somebody got inspired by a prompt of mine in The Writer Games: Forum Edition, leading to the creation of a RWBY fanfic in which Pyrrha Nikos enrolls into Beacon Academy while going by a fake identity. So far, it’s a pretty impressive take. And yes, I’ll be writing my own take on that premise sometime.

As for music stuff, I’ll still be making song covers. There will be at least one (with that condition fulfilled already ’cause “Ride” cover, yo~) song cover uploaded this month, too. There might be at least one collab cover which will be uploaded, too. And regarding that one original…well, I’ll need to contact my friend again about it. Haven’t been discussing that with him for a long while, see. Anyway, you’ll be getting updates, dear readers.

So yeah…I guess that’s pretty much what I got to say for this. Well, I’d also like to ask for your prayers, and I’d also like to ask for your honest constructive feedback, dear readers.

And with that…See you again in the den, nutshellcrackers. 🙂

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – March 2017

Hello, peeps. The Overlord Bear’s back with a monthly update post.

So yeah, I haven’t posted much in this blog during March 2017. I guess you can say that it’s been a tough month for me. I’d like to talk about it, yeah, but the deeper details are stuff that I’d like to talk about only with people I trust enough. I don’t really like ranting about my problems in public, too, even though that act has been tempting to me a bunch of times. Being in the Net has gotten me remembering about how toxic I can get, you know. And even though I find it tough to talk about my problems with people like my dear parents, I find them easier to talk with compared to most people.

Anyway, time to talk about my activities as Tobby this month, although they’re not much. Regarding posted stuff, I have my cover of Crusher-P’s “ECHO,” which doesn’t have much in terms of talk in the blog post there, considering that I’ve been having trouble during that point in time. Around a week later is my reblog of a post by Fr. Mark A. Pilon, a post that got me thinking about how I’ve been living my life lately.

As for other activities as Tobby, I’ve managed to complete the audio production of an original song of mine. I’ve managed to contact some friends who are up for helping me out in making a music video for it, though the planning isn’t that solid yet, especially considering our schedules. Still, I think that we’ll be able to work on it sometime. Also, writing for Wandering Weiss is slowly but surely progressing.

And speaking of future stuff, I’m likely to upload covers in the coming month. An English song cover upload is very likely, too.

Now, regarding some real life stuff that are probably okay for me to talk about, well, I guess we can say that I need some moral support in my life. There’s a lot of tough things out there that I’ll certainly encounter, and I don’t want to corrupt my soul while I try to overcome them. I’m currently in confusion about how to deal with my issues right now, and I’m certain that I’ve messed up a bunch of time recently, but I’m sure that I can find a proper way to deal with my problems. I’ve survived and improved before, so why can’t I survive and improve some more?

Heh, I think that vagueness that my mother pointed out in me once is showing up again. I guess you can say that it’s my anxiety acting up, and I want to be cared for too, but it would be foolish if I don’t put some effort in helping myself, no? Some of the limits that I think I have are probably lies that I’ve been telling myself, too. That’s something that I’ve realized after some talks with some dear people in my life, yo.

But hey, I’m probably sending you into a spiral of confusion at this point. Don’t worry too much, though. I’ll certainly find a way to properly deal with my problems, and I ask for God Almighty to help me with that. I’ve been helped by Him before, so yeah, my faith lives and will live on. 🙂

And with that, see you again in the den, peeps. And again, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – February 2017

Indeed, I’m late with this sort of post again. My mind’s been in a tangle lately, one which I threw myself in pretty much. And hey, I thank God very much for good priests and good parents in my life, for I’d be in a worse tangle right now without them.

Anyway, along with my second late monthly update post, this blog didn’t have much activity during the past month. Studies have been taking a considerable amount of my time, and although it can be difficult, it’s still something which I consider important. That, and I haven’t been putting a lot of effort into managing my time better. It’s irritating to know that I repeated such mistakes, but it’s better to admit it and calmly work better than panic and make the problem worse. And yes, I feel some sadness at not spending a lot of time on things like working on stories and such and hanging out with online friends, but I have to make important sacrifices in order to be a truly better person. Perhaps this month and maybe even further months would have reduced Tobby activity, considering the likely progression of my education, but on the bright side, I think I’ll be able to learn how to manage my time and energy better that way.

Now, about the stuff I managed to post during February 2017, putting aside the late monthly update post there:

As for potential posts for March 2017, there’s an original song that I’ll try adding vocals to in the coming days. I’m considering working on some covers some more, but as I want to broaden my experiences, the original song will have higher priority right now. As for writing-related posts, the most likely one I’ll post during this month is the next chapter of Wandering Weiss, as it’s a story of mine which has been getting a substantial amount of feedback. That, and I think I’ll be more likely to post originals if I notice a considerable level of interest from my audience.

So yeah, with that, see you again in the den, people! And again, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated! ^_^

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – January 2017

So, I just realized that I failed to make this sort of update post on time, so yeah, better late than never, and I feel like I’m putting myself down if I don’t take some time to review and summarize the stuff I’ve done in a month, reflect on said stuff, and then talk about plans for the future.

Now, as for my thoughts about the past month, well, I guess school occupied my mind a lot at that month, considering how it’s the month of the start of my latest semester. That, and I guess impulse carried me away towards working on stuff, particularly music, a little too much. Again, it makes me think about how I manage my time and how prioritize stuff in my life. Really, I think I’m having that irritating mindset of my younger self, specifically the mindset which lusts for fame. Perhaps that’s why I have a hard time thinking about explaining to my family and my friends about stuff like my recent impulses, and perhaps that’s why I check out other artists’ works as much as I do lately. With that, I guess I can say that I’ve been messing up caring for myself again by focusing on working Tobby stuff and all that too much.

And to be honest, there’s this nagging desire for working up all those music and writing and art and connections and all in me even now. Though I wish that people would shake me out of it, letting myself be carried away by that excessive desire would make it harder for me to follow the people I want to get help from. I also find it hard to shift my mindset, but pain comes with resistance, so yeah, either I work enough or I don’t.

Now, before I go get more serious with trying to get some really needed rest, here are the stuff that I posted during January, including reblogs and that one post which also involved an upload during December 31 of the previous year:

Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated, yo. 🙂

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – December 2016 + 2016 in Review

Welp, it’s been quite a year, indeed. A bunch would say that it sucked, and a bunch would say that it rocked, but if you ask me, it both sucked and rocked, and since it rocked, I’d still keep on living, yo~

So yeah, I’ve been through a lot this year…like making some strange friendships with peeps at the Professor Arc Forum, managing to get through two semesters of uni, uploading a bunch of music stuff, starting a multi-chapter RWBY fanfic, getting my heart shaken by “Kimi no Na wa.”/”Your Name.,” writing stories, trying to hammer in a better routine into my head, attempting comedy vids, translating stuff from one language to another, starting this monthly update habit, and a bunch of other stuff that you’d learn more about if you’re that enthusiastic about knowing what the freaking nuts I was doing this year…but that sort of enthusiasm would probably creep me out, now that I think about it…

Anyway, what a year, indeed. As usual, I’m looking forward to good things in the coming year, and I’m gonna keep on doing my best!

Now, here are the posts that I managed to put up during December 2016:

Hmm…I’ve been doing a lot of music stuff lately during December 2016…but still, I wanna work on writing stories some more. Also, I’m going to focus on collab covers in the near future. That, and I’ll probably upload a solo arrangement + vocal cover and/or a solo original too.

And agh, I should really cut down on the impulsiveness, indeed…

Oh, and before I completely forget about it, I mixed another cover by Shiriru. He tried to sing Chouchou-P’s “Kokoronashi,” yo~ And hey, before that, I mixed a cover by Nyusan, who tried to sing Jin’s “Outer Science” with my instrumental arrangement of it!

And now, considering the time…well, Happy New Year, dear peeps! \(^o^)

Christmas Reflection (2016)

Hours ago, I went to Mass with my family. It was a Christmas Eve Mass, and yet again, I felt more at peace at the church. On one hand, it was a strange feeling, as I was born and am living in imperfection. On the other hand, it was a welcome feeling, as a lot of stuff had gotten me believing in God more lately.

And hey, perhaps it’s weird to be a believer in God these days. Why believe in some being that a bunch of people fantasize about, right? Well, speaking of fantasizing, I’ve been thinking about that recently. I’ve been thinking about what makes true faith in God different from blind belief, and now, I think that the difference between the two is that the former focuses on balance, while the latter focuses on extremes.

See, I’ve been observing others and myself when it comes to spreading what we believe in. I see a lot of zeal, something that’s encouraged a lot these days when it comes to living life, I think. Zeal’s good, yes, though sometimes, we go overboard with it, and going out of control isn’t a good thing. And hey, in today’s society, where pluralism and postmodernism are prevalent, zeal is very high on all sides, and people’s hearts blaze for their respective beliefs. I like living zealously, too, and I don’t want to live lazily. Still, I found it strange that the zeal I wanted to have led to unnecessary conflict, and with that, I ended up thinking that living lazily feels much better, though I tended to think of it as something along the lines of “toning it down” most of the time.

I guess I can say that I need to learn a lot more about self-control. I’ve seen my overzealous self and my lazy self in a bunch of people, and in being like those people, I found myself out of my depth. My confidence would crash, and when it goes up, it tends to come with me thinking that self-deprecation is something that can grant me true happiness. My self-deprecation mixes with my overzealousness, and then what follows is a crazier spiral of chaos within me, who’s teetering back and forth, very much unbalanced.

Really, I think I’ve been living my life with the thought that extremes held the key to true happiness. I wanted the true ultimate happiness quickly, and in my rushing, I failed to notice the things I should be watching out for. Then, with that same overzealousness, failure hit me very hard, and then I attempted chilling out to the extreme, leading me towards more stupidity. A cycle of abuse happens again and again, and I fall into further sin the more I hold on to that rushing.

Even now, I wish that this struggle which I found myself stuck in would end quickly. Still, I’ve been realizing that extremes would do me no good. I need to keep myself balanced, looking at things critically and from different perspectives. I need to push down the desire to rush and kick out the desire to laze, because they’ve been hurting me more than I thought. I need other people, but I don’t need to force them, nor do I need to just let them be selfish. My senses aren’t as great as the senses of God, who helped me so many times in my life, and I can’t say that I know everything, nor can I say that I know nothing.

I’m an imperfect human, yes, but I can learn, and I am learning. Fantasizing, which I now consider wishing for extremes, isn’t as impressive as it used to be to me, and now, I want to live in reality, trying to find true happiness within it.

And today, I think I’m really having a merry Christmas. As usual, this world still has conflict, yes, and my future will come with a rocky road, but still, I can see the light…the light of God.

So yeah…Happy Birthday, Jesus. I pray that you continue to show me where the right path is.

And hey, Merry Christmas and more strength to you all as well, dear readers. 🙂

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – October 2016

Yo there, peeps. The Overlord Bear is here for a monthly update post again. Also, I should get back on schedule on Wandering Weiss, which I’ll certainly do on Tuesday.

Anyway, this month has been filled with fanfiction writing and song covers. Special mention goes to making that video for my cover of my friend Wata’s “absurd,” my “Souzou Forest” retake cover for Jin’s/Shizen no Teki-P’s birthday, and then there’s my consecutive weekly updating of Wandering Weiss, which got broken at the last Tuesday of the month.

As for school, I’ve gone past the midterm point of the current semester. Learning is still interesting, but I have struggles with trying to get to school on time in the morning. I tend to spend too much time on surfing the Net and doing stuff with my computer on nights before school days, and the price I pay for that is heavy, indeed. I need help with that, alright.

As for other aspects of life in my house, the importance of chores and family bonding continues to be learned with the help of struggles. It’s like exercise (which I haven’t been doing much, ugh), in which it’s painful but worthwhile, especially when learned properly. Also, dish sorting, dishwashing, floor sweeping, floor mopping, trash bag disposal, and dog-crap-cleaning are the chores I’ve been doing lots in my house lately. Oh, and I think that my bond with my younger sister is improving, mostly thanks to art, stories, and stuff.

I also feel like my bonds with some close friends of mine are growing again. We’ve had some freaking worthwhile chats recently, yo!

Also, this month has been filled with reblogs about Makoto Shinkai’s “Kimi no Na wa.”/”Your Name.” Really, it’s one of my favorite movies now, and if you have interest in watching it, I highly recommend watching it without being spoiled beforehand. I also wrote a fanfic for it, too, one that’s set after the events of the movie and is shown through Yotsuha’s perspective. Oh, and then there’s RWBY Volume 4. Hanging around the RT upload comments and the Professor Arc Forum got me reading mixed reviews, with important points for thought mostly coming from the latter…which is also a place filled with shenanigans…shenanigans that I also participate in, for better or worse…

Okay, so now, I’d like to give shout-outs to certain peeps:

And now, as this post is nearing its end, here’s a list of the stuff that I posted on this blog this month:

So yeah, see you again in the den, peeps. Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. 🙂

P.S. Here are some things to look forward to in this blog in the coming days:

  • More song covers, including at least one English cover
  • That one original song of mine and its music video that I should start working on
  • More Wandering Weiss updates, though there’s a chance of them not going weekly ’cause of the currently airing RWBY Volume 4
  • An original short story…probably…

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – September 2016

Yo, peeps. The Overlord Bear is here again with a monthly update post.

So, I promised to upload some music and accompanying videos during the previous update post, but them music and them videos weren’t uploaded as promised this month. I’d complain, but I find that a waste of energy when I know that I can do better. Self-deprecation as comedy appears to be a trend among peeps in the Net these days, and even I’ve indulged in such, but eventually, I end up finding it boring ’cause I realize that it doesn’t get me more motivated to do better as a person.

Okay, time to cut that talk about that there now. As for the music and their videos that I promised, I’ll be trying to upload at least one of them next month. Wish me strength, dear peeps.

Oh, and my university life is progressing with some smoothness, I guess. Oh, and I’m particularly confident in my performance in Japanese class! Also, I need to improve my punctuality at school, particularly in the morning. Midterm is also approaching, I feel good about getting this far, and I want to finish the semester and pass all the subjects I’m currently taking. And as usual, I do household chores, though some more effort would be nicer. Also, I need more exercise.

As for my activities here in the Net, there’s a reblog I made of a blog copy of a column article written by my favorite UP professor, Prof. Butch Dalisay, titled “History and Irony,” and specifically, it focuses on stuff about the discussion of the era of Martial Law under Ferdinand Marcos in the Philippines. I found his thoughts very interesting, so yeah, I reblogged it.

And as for my posts which aren’t reblogs, I had started working on a (probably) weekly updated RWBY fanfiction called Wandering Weiss. It’s about Weiss going wandering singer with wandering musician Jaune as a companion, and of course, checking out the source material before reading the fanfic is recommended. Oh, and I should work on writing some original stories sometime, too…

Also, I mixed a song cover of DECO*27’s “Mozaik Role” this month. It’s a cover by a Japanese guy going by the name Shiriru, and here’s a link to that cover (although you need to have a Niconico account before you’re able to watch it). Communicating with him was challenging to me, considering my confidence in my Japanese communication skills, but I managed, and because of that, I feel more motivated to learn the language and communicate with it!

Oh yeah, before I end this post, I’d like to mention that this blog of mine became three years old last month, and that I forgot to mention it during the previous monthly update post.

So yeah, time to continue learning and doing my best again. And again, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. 🙂

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – August 2016

Hey there, peeps. I’m The Overlord Bear, and I’m here to talk about some stuff I’ve been through and stuff I’ve been up to. I don’t think a lot of people check out my posts here much, but hey, I’d like to do this monthly update-posting thing to help me set my priorities straight.

So, this month, I’ve started going through another semester of university classes again. Surprisingly, I’m taking it well. Maybe having Japanese classes are a major factor there, and I guess the professors are a big influence there as well. And although I do them kinda less frequently, I’m still doing household chores at home, with dishwashing being the household chore I do the most.

Still, I think I’ve been impulsive when it comes to my activities. On one hand, my impulsiveness, combined with remembering the need to do things like household chores, gets me working without being asked to do so, but on the other hand, I don’t like getting carried away by my whims, which has been happening a lot to me lately. Thank God for schoolwork, household chores, and my parents, though, ’cause even though I feel annoyed at them whenever they remind impulsive me to stay focused, following them usually becomes freaking worthwhile.

Now, as for my activities as an artist here in the Net, I’m being more active in writing activities again, although I’m currently more focused on fanfiction writing. (And speaking of which, I need to have my knowledge of certain stories updated, so yeah, better set time for them before their next updates overwhelm me…) I joined a forum in fanfiction.net, and getting feedback on my writing, particularly honest constructive feedback, is really refreshing despite the nervousness I tend to feel before I read them. I’m also getting into learning about audio engineering some more while I continue to do music stuff, and speaking of music stuff, I’ll be uploading song covers and, at the very least, one original song in the coming month. I’ll be working on a video for a song cover of a song made by a Japanese friend of mine, and I’ll also be working on a video for an original song that I had finished mixing some time ago this year. AviUtl will be used for the production of those videos, too.

And now, to end this post, here’s a list of links to my posts from this month, and all of them are song covers:

So yeah, see you again in the den, peeps! \(^o^)

Milestones and Turning Points #1

“Are you insane, Tobby?”

I dreamt of hearing the above sentence from other people, but the first time I heard that wasn’t how I dreamed it to be. Really, I think that the first one who called me that, straight to my face, was my own self. Or maybe someone else, and I was just too stupid to admit it, let alone know it, at the time.

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