Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – September 2022

Starting off by talking about the sort of creative pursuits I’ve been spending the most of my budget on lately, I’m feeling more like slowing down on my music cover productions as well lately. Day job’s been busier, I got a phone upgrade courtesy of my mom that I need to pay off, and I want to go bigger with the covers in some way, with my cover of Tempus’s “Top of the World” being my top example among my two covers this month. Not like I don’t got confidence in my cover of Calli’s “Kamouflage,” but if I could handle a bigger budget, I would’ve had the visuals for that be more personalized like I did with the “Ijimekko Bully” cover (which is still rising up the ranks in my YouTube Channel for some reason). And covers aren’t the only music productions I wanna work on. And I wanna do singing collaborations, which are just covers at the moment, but still. And I think I should explore others’ music more, which I’ve been managing to do especially with the help of Spotify again. I don’t think I’ve felt like exploring this much since when I was in university, specifically when I would be listening to downloaded albums on the mobile app while in them long bus rides. I guess turning my daily handwritten religious reflection habit into a gratitude list really helped there lots, too.

And speaking of writing, I’ve made a proper fanfic writing comeback, and by that, I mean a safe-for-work fanfic release. As for the NSFW stuff, yeah, more happened. Again, I’m not gonna give you a lot of specifics about that here, but if you do find them for some reason or another, I encourage roasting me along with them, especially since they’re fantasies about real people, though if you like them, then I’d rather have your honesty there, whether I’d like it or not. Anyway, the safe fanfic is a work for Fire Emblem, though it’s for some installments I’ve never played before. On top of randomly wiki-walking about the franchise, some wonderful works of and chats with a particular writer who goes by the name of the franchise’s third installment pushed me a lot into actually writing and posting the fanfic. I think I’d rather play more Valkyria Chronicles than Fire Emblem right now, though.

And yeah, I’ve managed to stream a few times this month, with Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 and The Silver Case also continuing slowly but surely. As in, one’s made some grinding progress for its True Ending, while the other two have revealed to me some very major spoilers. And with how I’ve been wanting to practice streaming more on top of trying out some games I got interested in through Tempus like Dicey Dungeons and the Hitman games, I guess it would help that if I take it easier on the cover production. Plus, I’ve been getting the urge to read original fiction again, particularly in the form of light novels and manga, with the latest localized volume of We’re New at This being the last thing I read.

Now, considering how I’ve had lots of fun exploring others’ creative works before, even with few things among them being stuff I’d really like, I’m getting the feeling that what’s killing my sense of contentment about it is my desire to fish for praise from and connections with others while trying to dodge mockery and loneliness. Especially by posing as someone who’s good at confrontations, like in this new attempt at a meme vid. I strongly believe in the ideas I’m trying to deliver, but I’m very doubtful about how I’d rather deliver those ideas. Thinking about that some more, especially with the tiredness such posturing gives me, I think I’d rather make stuff more like and better than this new attempt at a vlog. Besides, I’ll still have to deal with obscurity and zealotry even if I didn’t, and even the best life, while certainly worth cherishing, isn’t anything to brag about. My two poems this month, one about apparently killing God and one about sitting on thrones, probably depict that struggle of mine best right now.

So yeah, for now, in terms of Tobbyworks, I’m basically gonna take it easier on the posts I’ll feature on this blog here at least, while meme vids and vlogs and streams might get a bit more frequent. I think I can say, then, that the covers are likely to be once a month for the next few months, and that Bear Lords It Over You will be more guerrilla like my streaming and my writing posts for now. Seriously, I’m finding more relief in my day job right now, yet I still want to be this artist and entertainer for some reason.

Anyway, however I’m supposed to go, praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again for the challenges and guidance, and may He keep on helping us all. Also, as usual, I’d like to ask for honest constructive feedback.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – August 2022

You know, I guess having tuned into holostars English as much as I have so far filled my time even better than I expected, considering how stressed I was by traveling around for my work ATM card and having to deal with my immediate family’s house’s Internet connection being hard to work with in terms of streaming. Call me shallow, especially since the work I’m aiming to do with the practice isn’t really up there in terms of secure ways to earn a living, but yeah, been having the itch to practice streaming even more than I expected, especially with stabler hardware, as shown by my more recent Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 and The Silver Case stream episodes in particular, with the Valkyria Chronicles stream episodes being a contrast out of great luck as well, long stream times aside. Though I also found myself pushing myself too hard about participating in the fandom again while getting into Tempus, trying to commit to a fan Discord server until I found myself burnt out around a crowd again. Makes me wonder why I still try to do these attempts at making a name for myself when I could just shut up and game and read and watch with all this money I’m getting…Oh, yeah, I wanna have bros and rivals I can make worthwhile art with, which Tempus helped me understand and appreciate further along with other parts of my self. There’s also getting the girl, because hey, I’m actually cishet trash. I guess because of that madness as well, I’m feeling lucky that those meme vids and vlogs of mine didn’t get a single update before this post. I mean, I’ve been feeling like the creep I’ve been struggling to overcome some more with them, you know? And the moments when people actually have been out for my blood are way rarer than I like to think. Now that’s what’s truly the most frustrating thing about me lately.

But more on the bright side, I’d like to send thanks to AK Enoch for having me in a fun recent video of his, which is about the so-called “perfectly cut scream.” Been over a year since my playlist of others’ shows I’m featured in got updated, too. And I honestly haven’t been tuning into his content much, so yeah, I’m surprised that he still has that much trust in me. Then again, I guess I can make stuff like this Bear Lords It Over You vid. And then there’s how this blog is already nine years old.

Also being another confidence boost is the feedback I’ve been getting on my English cover of Izuru Kanade’s “Monologue in a row.” A freaking difficult production to work on, and I’m wishing that someone would outdo me in covering the song in English, but still. I’d also like to give a shout-out to RingNin, a skilled, hardworking, and modest Youtaite whom I first encountered showing appreciation for my Kagerou Day/Azami birthday commemoration release that is my English cover of “days.”

And hey, I got to post four poems this month! I got one with the love-and-war theme, one with the love-and-treasure theme, one with the death-seeking theme, and one about, well, words. And so far, there’s one more I consider ready for upload in my production queue, which, needless to say, will show up on this blog next month.

As for more talk about plans for next month’s blog posts, I’m also hoping to post one or two music uploads and, surprisingly, one fanfic! Even more surprising is how they all started out of impulse! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again for that and more, then!

So yeah, I’m itching for some more honest constructive feedback again. And may He keep on helping us all!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – July 2022

I think the most obvious sign of it is this month only having one music post (which kinda blew up and got me feeling like I should have more faith in my fellow Starlights), but I’ve been feeling like I’ve been pushing myself too hard with my routine, especially in terms of prayer, so I went and restructured it. I’m not going to share all the details about it, but I will say that the centerpiece of it is turning my daily journal writing (and handwriting maintenance) from random self-loathing to gratitude listing. Not only will I be more pushed to focus on the positives of my daily life, it will still help expose what I need to improve on. So far, specifically in the one to two weeks I’ve been doing it, I think I can say that it’s been helping me be more motivated and focused about my daily activities and more open and flexible to variations changing circumstances offer me, taking the days for granted less and all.

Still, there are matters like how I wrote and posted smut for the first time. And of all things, it’s hololive smut. It’s also something that reeks of how cishet I actually am, even with the digestibility it gained thanks to its beta reader, so at least it’ll be something that has the potential to disturb the two sides I’m playing, I guess? And out of some attempt at prudence and the like, that stuff goes on only one site, which, along with the identity of the beta reader and to emphasize said attempt, I will neither name nor link in this post. And especially considering that that one smut piece may not be the last one I’ll be posting, please remember that I can’t exactly stop you from digging up the truth yourself and even exposing it to the public, though, whether I like it or not. I’d also like to say that I’d like to discuss sexual stuff with humble positivity more, whether in private or in public.

Now, back to posts on this blog this month, there’s another Bear Lords It Over You update where I also play the Devil again, and then there’s a reflection that spawned with the help of Sunday readings that also included the part where Abraham interceded for Sodom and Gomorrah. I’m glad that this blog this month got more filled, but at the same time, I feel like when I was trying to handle producing my music posts all by myself, pretending especially to myself that I could do more than what I could actually do. And now I’m thinking that even if I made the right choice leaving all those Discord servers I left, even if I could actually do even more than I can right now, I have to remember that I still need other people, and what matters is that I find the ones I can be more and more myself around, not hoard as many apparent friends as possible. I hate having to face the error part of “trial and error,” but I gotta accept that that’s how looking for good friends will go, and that making friends is just the beginning of friendship.

Other stuff this month worth noting here? Well, it’s not much again, but I did manage to do some streaming this month. Also been figuring out how to more quickly finish a few harder maps in Valkyria Chronicles, already at endgame in my playthrough of Hyperdimension Re;Birth2, and I have to remember to have a lot of water for when I push my throat to the limit by doing my cheap voice acting for The Silver Case. Also got some new meme vids, with my return to holomemeing also being the second catschais meme compilation video I got featured in. And speaking of more of my YouTube stuff, my “Ijimekko Bully” vocal cover has gone past 100 Likes on top of being my channel’s most Liked and second most viewed video right now, and my channel has already gone past 250 subscribers as well. Again, thank you very much for the humbling support.

As for plans for the following month, I think I’ll be able to upload at least one music post, which will be an English cover of a Japanese song, specifically a KagePro song because hey, it’s August. And August is also the month I consider this blog’s and therefore The Overlord Bear’s anniversary, which will be nine years old at that point. I’m also planning to post some poems I wrote, and hopefully, there’ll be a Bear Lords It Over You update featuring a different villain. I’m also not sure if I’ll have the strength to write fanfics and reviews to post here next month.

And now, I’d like to ask for honest constructive feedback again. And again, may God Almighty keep on helping us all.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – June 2022

I think I’ve been around a month at my grandparents’ place already. And judging from my increased comfort thanks to having more room for me, my stuff, and my solitude here, I think my recent bout of slowness about going through life here, especially making my Tobbyworks, is me regressing into idle wanderings to the trivial and perverted as I sober up about and run away from how horrible a bunch of my current interests actually are again and/or me further experiencing growing pains as I learn and do better. For one, I left the few remaining fan Discord servers I was in, as I had to remember that I have a very low social battery. I’ve also been buying and reading more light novels and manga via Bookwalker. And then there are also games on Steam, like The Silver Case, which I’ve been streaming along with Valkyria Chronicles and Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2, though I’ve been streaming games and even gaming off-stream less since the last monthly digest. After all, there’s also the matter of sleep, which I’ve been struggling to have some more, and that issue seems to have acted up further as I posted this month’s features on this blog:

  1. an English cover of Jin’s (Shizen no Teki-P) “ZIGI,” another track from his Allegories mini album
  2. “Just Proud of You, Never Loving You,” the start of a villain roleplay monologue video series called Bear Lords It Over You
  3. “From Prison, The TV Killer,” a Persona 4 fan song and my first Bandcamp and priced release

I think the second and third make the first one look like light work, though. The first one’s a sort of thing I’ve sort of gotten used to doing, then I tried to crack open my thinking process for writing and acting the Devil in the second, and then I decided to go name-your-price last-minute in the third. All while starting the writing of the blog posts in the late hours of the upload days themselves rather than in advance. And while obsessing over being a schmooze as an artist, which I feel like I’ve been doing way more than I’ve been doing in my day job. I feel like I barely even schmooze at my day job!

I think the core issue here is, yet again, FOMO. The feeling of missing out. And considering stuff like my latest vlogs and meme vid, which might as well be considered my usual vent posts already, I’m desperately dealing with it as well. Again. Maybe I do have to catch up with some things, but no matter how many they should be, I really should go about them one at a time. I don’t need to fake it ’til I make it. I don’t even need to brag about it! The wonders of my life years before are proof of that, and I was also suckier back then, so what more will I get as this improved easy-to-miss guy?

So yeah, on the even brighter side, while I may be planning to stick to two music posts a month for the time being for the sake of saving up for stuff like original song production while keeping up stuff like them villain roleplay monologue vids, I’ve gotten inspiration to write stuff like fanfiction and Tobby’s Recommendation Yells again. If they don’t really materialize, then hey, I hope I take a good break at least, ’cause I want and probably need more of that. God Almighty keep on helping us all, alright.

And again, I’d like some honest constructive feedback.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – May 2022

And now, in Flexes You Don’t Need To Know But I’m Shoving Down Your Throats Because I’m A Redundancy That Is A Religious Poser: Glad to have this month getting me more used to going out again, especially through the Masses I’ve been attending in person, which have been mostly with my family and just recently by myself. And speaking of religious stuff, I’m surprised by how I’m progressing in trying to make more of a habit out of Confession and Communion along with that. I mean, yeah, I do want more of those properly, but it’s real easy to mess up, you know? If you want evidence of how easy it is, then my meme vids and my vlogs are probably more than enough to give you a good idea already. Though if you want some more (hopefully healthy) positivity about that, then you can check out these poems I posted this month as part of my poetry writing revival:

The third one feels a little too subtly religious for me to tag it as such, but I still hope I did well in drawing them religious influences into it as well. And while I’d like to say that writing poems with narratives isn’t new to me, I feel like it should be pointed out that the aforementioned poem is also more a fable than a reflection. Now, on to the next topic before I go even more TMI about my poems here.

Though we’re still not out of talking about this month’s verse work, for there’s still this month’s two English covers:

  1. a lyrical remix of Maarbble’s “Again again, and again”
  2. a translyricized take on Jin’s (Shizen no Teki-P) “MERMAID”

Yup, managed to upload two covers this month, alright. I think I’ll post at least one of those in the coming month, and I’ve also been itching to work up more holoPro English covers, especially holostars English covers, something that got more motivated by me getting into the boys’ music through their official Spotify playlist. And again, like whenever I try to sing K-Pop boy group songs I like, I found myself admiring the boys even more as I hit my limits my hard with a lot of the songs I’ve tried to practice singing so far. Oh, and speaking of holoPro covers, my “Ijimekko Bully” cover is now my YouTube Channel’s highest rated and third most viewed video. Like, wow, thanks? And it’s still high up on the results for what I consider relevant search keywords on YouTube. So, yeah, thanks very much again? Honestly, while I will not deny being a Dead Beat, especially a freaking gachikoi one, I expected my English translyrics to get more attention than something like that one cover, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by how weeby a lot of my fellow VTuber fans are.

Now, tangential jump to streaming stuff: I’ve done the most streams in a month this month, and before the month even started (and after the last monthly digest post), I managed to complete my killer7 stream series. I’m still a mostly invisible guy fumbling around, but hey, more progress, yeah? Also, in place of that, I did a one-shot stream of SUPERHOT and then started a stream series of Valkyria Chronicles. And the Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 2 stream series is still going, yes. And right now, I seem to stream most comfortably…late at night…and still guerrilla. And let it be known that I managed to stream as much as I did this month because I got more free time at my day job, which I don’t want to go on for too long unless I got some better day job opportunities and personal resource management skills close by.

And speaking of personal resource management skills, I really should get back to improving those, so yeah, asking for honest constructive feedback again, and may God Almighty keep on challenging and guiding us into becoming the good folks He wants us to be.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – April 2022

So this month, vacation at my grandparents’ got extended for around another week than expected, but at least there’s stuff like two music covers uploaded this month, with those two being:

  1. an English cover of Jin’s (Shizen no Teki-P) “Erase;” and
  2. a vocal cover of Calliope Mori’s “Red” with the Lo-Fi Version

As for other uploaded videos, there’s one meme vid, and then there are them killer7 streams, Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 stream, and the end of New Game Plussin’ Live With Tobby along with the end of the NGPLWT of Persona 4 Golden. More streams to come as this month ends and the next month starts, hopefully. Might be mostly spontaneous in terms of streaming in the coming month, too.

Oh, and speaking of my planned activities next month that I think I can share without too much trouble right now and aren’t videos, I’m reviving my poem posting here. Unfortunately, it’s very religiously motivated, so please prepare your pitchforks and torches and the stake for this one of many demons posing as God Almighty.

As for music next month, I hope to upload at least another two covers. Also, I’m itching to write more original lyrics, but ordering original instrumentals, among other things, takes a lot, so yeah, you’re likelier to find me doing lyrical remixes in terms of that.

Some other not yet mentioned fun things about this passing month that I’m comfortable about sharing here? Well, there’s me doing more of a return to gaming offstream and reading light novels. Been playing NieR Replicant again (and completed that freaking Life in the Sands quest along the way), and finished a volume of Combatants Will Be Dispatched! and started another (and gained increased interest in Grimm and Lilith along the way). I also think I’m getting back into the groove of my day job, considering some recent faster progress on a sort of work I slowed down at big time last time I did it.

And I guess that’s that for this month’s digest post here in this blog. Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated, and may God Almighty keep on challenging and guiding us all as He wishes!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – March 2022

So, this month’s blog posts ended up different from what I expected, as I wanted just two English covers of hololive songs, and what I got was:

And I posted more cringe meme vids and vlogs. I’ve also been getting better at my efficiency at my day job again, though that’s probably because of the kinda lighter/easier load I have right now, but hey, gotta appreciate them baby steps, right? And I might be enjoying streaming more than I expected. And speaking of streaming some more, even with the scuff like in my Persona 4 Golden streams, which I’d call the face of my streamer scuff right now, I somehow managed to get myself into doing better at them some more again, especially with streams like my killer7 streams, my Helltaker stream, and my Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 streams. I’d also like to give a shout-out to Rosen, a local indie VTuber, for helping me deal with my scuff, among other fun things like introducing more local comedy and going nuts over RPGs.

Some stuff I’m expecting next month? A vacation on Holy Week because my grandparents miss me, at least two music covers because I wanna flex my musical abilities some more with healthier financing, and probably more spontaneous streaming because a more scheduled setup feels a bit too stiff to me right now.

And speaking of my music covers, I’d like to note how, apparently, my “Ijimekko Bully” cover’s been significantly drawing more interest in me and my content lately. The manifestations of my limited lung power there sure are easy to overlook, huh? I’m not gonna expect much on your respect for me, especially considering my confidence about posting things beyond us fools’ current morality trends, but hey, thanks very much for the interest at the very least. X”D

And of course, I’d like more honest constructive feedback, please. And praise and thanks be to God very much again, and may He keep on helping us all as He wishes.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – February 2022

I’ve been hearing quite the loud call within me for me to reprioritize lately. My simping’s at my personal all-time high recently, and I really need to be more efficient in my day job I’m about to be two years in. They’re part of why this month didn’t have as much posts as I hoped to put up, why I haven’t done more streaming, and why next month is very likely to be sparse with them posts on top of me being vague about what they’ll be. Would love to have more quantity with my attempts at higher quality releases and all that, but I can’t do that right now, if ever.

But as for the releases I did manage to do this month, well, I did get to release two covers of hololive songs: a vocal cover of Mumei’s “A New Start” and  an English cover of Towa’s “FACT” And then there are two remixes: one of Joshua Hartshorn’s “Faceless Entertainers” and one of DEMONDICE’s “wanting, getting, wanting.” I’d also like to say that the “wanting, getting, wanting” remix is my favorite release this month. Oh, and my meme vids and my vlogs got updates.

With all that said, well, again, honest constructive feedback, please.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – January 2022

Surprisingly, even to myself, I’m really streaming now. I’m doing that on YouTube, by the way, and I currently plan to stream more of myself playing Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel, Persona 4 Golden, and killer7. There’s also my discontinued Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade series if you wanna see me be more boring about that. Schedules? Well, if you want something definite, I’m currently trying to usually schedule a stream a day before I go live with it.

Anyway, how did me going more active with streaming happen? Well, I guess having finished the Lisa the Tearer Project is one thing. My covers of Suisei’s “comet” and “Her Trail on the Celestial Sphere” might be involved, and maybe the same goes for my cover of IRyS’s “Sparks of Joy,” but I’m very sure that my very disgusting remix of teniwoha’s “villain” is very much involved in them surprising developments. My ending of that Ahnenerbe trios fanfics thing? No involvement, but that’s also pretty disgusting.

Also, I made some more lame attempts at meme vids and a vlog that’s also memey. The horrors just won’t stop, alright! You want more warnings or hope or something, then? Well, the following month’s blog posts, aside from these monthly digests, might just be music covers all the way, with one definitely having me on weeb mode. I also got a one-shot fanfic I’ve kinda gotten back into writing, but I’m not sure when or if it’ll be done. I am sure that it is for a franchise I’m not really that into now, though.

So yeah, that’s it for this one. Wishing for honest constructive feedback again, though you’re also welcome to flame me. Gonna have to be smart as well about it if you really don’t want me to come back to this icky living of mine, of course. And of course, as a member of the most disgusting sort of Christians ever, I’d like to ask for this: God Almighty keep on helping us fools!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – December 2021 + 2021 in Review

Again, it’s the season of the birth of the Bread of Life in some feeding trough in a cave in a town called “House of Bread.” In other words, Merry Christmas, my fellow filthy animals, and may we also have a Happy New Year.

And speaking of happy years, I’m sure 2021’s the happiest year I’ve had so far, funnily enough. I mean, yeah, there’s still the pandemic, but it’s another year of more saved money thanks to not having to commute such long distances to and from my day job’s office, a development that gave me the chance to have stuff like better-produced music uploads (including one that got some freaking awesome recognition) and an overconfident attempt at a VTuber project (which updated twice for the last time this month) In short, I’ve been so lucky, I further think that I’m an illegal existence. But we all love breaking the rules as long as it’s convenient to us, right?

And yeah, I think I’ve gained a bit more of an edge during 2021, or maybe I just bothered to be more accepting of the gigantic load of grit within me. Maybe it’s the latter, considering a certain Recommendation Yell of an album I once roasted like the bigoted dumbass I usually am, but hey, I might be faking this apology like any other public figure. Besides, I’m gonna need to have better humility in obscurity, or else I can’t handle being humble in popularity, so why not get me cancelled as soon as possible?

Seriously, I thrive on little achievements which I exaggerate to my senses, such as managing to cover with my recently revived stupid Japanese-English comprehension all three tracks of ||:Caesura of Despair, hololive English VSinger IRyS’s first EP: “Caesura of Despair,” “diorama,” and “HERE COMES HOPE.” That, and extreme thirst moments like my overdramatic Calli-targeted remix of Mikito-P’s “I Shared a Kiss with Hatsune Miku” and my detrimentally wilder remix of Calli’s “guh.” And unfortunately for you, more of these are coming next year…in the first half at least…hopefully.

Now, a change of topic to numb(?) some of the pain you just got: I still managed to write stories this year, but mostly fanfics with pretty ladies, and I think my favorites among those are some angsty Honkai Impact 3 yuri and a friendship fanfic featuring my favorite character in Ao-chan Can’t Study! As for my other favorite writings I wrote this year, emphasizing my bias for Ao-chan Can’t Study! is my Recommendation Yell for it. And I think I should emphasize my wack sense of marriage as well here. Fortunately for you, I don’t know if I’d be able to write more fiction, whether original or fan, next year. But don’t be too happy about that, okay? I seem to have quite the knack for nasty surprises, and I don’t like you people being stupid about people like me, so yeah, be careful~

Is there anything else I should mention? Well, there are three YouTube playlists: one for my stupid memes, one for my more overt overbearing seriousness, one for videos by more talented and skilled folks simping for me, and one for some videos led by folks who bothered to let me work with them for some reason.

And I guess that’s it for my blog posts this year. I’d now like to get back to my villainous scheming, and may God Almighty keep on helping us fools into becoming actually sensible folks.