For one, I’ve already begun working. To give you an idea, it’s an office job. Also, I can continue to build up my musical knowledge and taste via Spotify there.
And speaking of music, while practical production of original music continues to be slow, my habit of reading (mostly Pitchfork) music reviews continues to be stoked. It’s like going through university again, which means deep insights gained by facing the torturous human soul and then crawling back to God Almighty as I try to make some concrete goodness out of it all. Oh, and going back to the topic of work, I think I can make a friendship with my mentor there, as Pitchfork was the first name he asked about in response to when I told him about music reviews as an answer to his question about what I’ve been reading lately. Still, as much as I wish to be some bombastic charismatic, I have a hard time believing that every person that catches a modicum of my interest would be able to put up with my weirdness (and no, I don’t just mean that weirdness that those cliched hacks out there like to spit platitudes about).
Also, my blog’s six years old now. Never thought that this attempt at an online presence would last this long, alright. Still feeling ambitious, but I want caution to balance it out some more.
Speaking of writing, I’ve been doing more of that on my phone than I do on my computer. A bunch of short story drafts have been completed there, but I’ll need more motivation to work them into a desktop word processor. And as usual, I think I’ve been writing more disordered order fantasies than ordered human experiences, which reminds me of my need to have a writing group or something (and yes, that can also help in the seemingly easier study and practice of fanfiction writing, but of course, that would require a different bunch of people). Again, it’s hard for me to find people who’d kindly bother to put up with me and keep my eccentricities in check on a regular basis.
In the realm of gaming, I have already cleared the story mode of Devil May Cry 4. Among the things I’ve learned about myself there is that I suck in the School of Nero, especially in the Buster classes. As for mobile gaming, I continue to play Honkai Impact 3, which my girlfriend has gained more interest in (especially because of a certain newly playable younger sister figure voiced by Mai Nakahara in the Japanese dub) yet still cannot play due to phone storage priorities. On the other hand, Pat has been helping me get into BanG Dream!, and while phone storage priorities also keep me from having the game in my phone, I have become quite interested in the original music the franchise has (which I also decided to check out because of the awesome Vocaloid covers that the franchise has).
As for more breaktime stuff, I need to have a better sleep routine because of my job as well. And my job will likely end up having me posting as Tobby on weekends even more now, which means a likely schedule change for these this post series, though I think it’s a good thing for my blogging in general ’cause finally, I can have a more regular blogger schedule with that setup…or I would be even more irregular as I pick a weekend to produce and a weekend to post. But who knows, maybe I’ll find something better than those options as I go on with my young professional life.
So yeah, God Almighty keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him very much for the strength and the challenges again. Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.
It was only yesterday when I realized that I forgot to write a digest post for the recently past month. Adding to the trouble was how it was the night before a morning with a job interview. Fortunately, my girlfriend helped me focus better again, and before I came back to this, I came in and out of the interview with a good amount of confidence! That, and I did the usual dishwashing. I think I’m getting a little more used to all those big piles of dirty dishes, too…
Anyway, what the heck was I up to last month? Oh yeah, July 2019 was a month when I managed to get back to writing originalfiction(prompted, but still) and a Tobby’s Recommendation Yell! That, and I was also having fun with Devil May Cry games, particularly 3 and 4, both of them Special Edition (and my stylish action skills need a lot of polishing, though, so yeah, I better be chiller about it). And as you may have noticed already, I was also spending time looking for a job and prepping for that sort of stuff (and I praise and thank God Almighty very much for my parents and their help as well).
As for other things I’ve been doing, there’s a bunch of story drafts and review drafts that have been growing. Surprisingly, making music hasn’t been high up in my priorities lately. The same goes for writing fanfiction, more or less, though I still listen to music and read fanfiction pieces a lot. Also been feeling like playing video games more. Ah, and for better concentration, I removed social media apps from my phone.
Anything else? Well, I guess the rest are a bunch of things I’d rather be quiet about, either for now or for never.
So yeah, as usual, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. God Almighty keep on helping us all!
As for other things, I’ve been getting more and more fun ideas to write down as short stories thanks to all that thesis work I went through. I should fit a good amount of writing time into my future routine, alright. I’ve been hearing God’s call a lot more clearly lately, see.
Also, I mentioned reviews a while ago, so yes, I’m gonna mention reviews again here. Actually, no, I’m gonna talk about reflections, though they’re also reviews, just not the “Yeah, speechlessly 10/10!” type. So yeah, Superheroes vs God Almighty is gonna get some more content in the near future.
Hmm, what else…oh yeah, music again. I’ve been making more originals lately. Having listened to a bunch of albums with Spotify and long bus trips helps me out there, too. That, and along with helping me review music better, reading music reviews has been helping me there as well.
Ah, and I’ve been getting inspiration to write poetry again! Making illustrations and recording readings are a different story now, though…
And I think I should spend more time with games to help me relax better, particularly more on my PC and less on my phone. That, and do chores and exercise. And be more forgiving.
Okay, I think that’s it for now. I need that honest constructive feedback, too. Oh, and I also need worthwhile job opportunities. So yeah.
Finally, my thesis is officially accomplished! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again!
And yeah, I hadn’t posted anything past the monthly update post last month. But I’ll certainly be getting to uploading more stuff again sooner! I do have the graduation ceremony to prepare for during the month of June, but hey, more free time, y’know?
That, and I should make a page or two here for stuff like voice acting roles and all that. I’m getting closer to the professional life, and I need to act the part better, after all. Plus, I’m trying to get into voice acting more actively after certain recent developments that got me feeling more motivated! ^w^
But first, I also think I need to rest more. Or at least feel like I have a better hold on my time. God Almighty keep on helping us all. \(=w= )
I also have a long post in the works, and it’s a Tobby’s Recommendation Yell, which I haven’t been doing for a long while. Higher enthusiasm, confidence, and, hopefully, knowledge have me going at it again, and if you haven’t checked my social media hard enough yet, it’s gonna be about a certain Circus-P album.
And of course, there’s a song cover and some fanfic stuff coming up. They’ll appear suddenly but certainly this month, so yeah.
So with all that…well, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. And I need good peeps to more regularly hang out with for better artistry…which probably needs more initiative on my part than on theirs. Well, I guess these coming days are bigger opportunities for that better stuff, then! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty yet again for the strength and the challenges, then! \(^w^)/
Also, yes, I changed the site’s theme. Whatcha think about that? 😀
Yo. Apologies for the late update. It’s now the final month of the semester, and workload’s been going up a lot more as it came around. It’s a lot more significant with this meant to be my final semester in uni as well, so yeah, I’mma take stuff here slow as I put more focus on my schoolwork.
And speaking of schoolwork, I think I’m seeing a good chance to deeply face some personal issues I have through my thesis work. That, and I learned about how I’m struggling with purple prose…among other things.
Also, I’ve been making some progress with fanfic stuff and song cover stuff. You’ll be seeing clearer progress more likely after I’m done with my thesis work.
Ah, and speaking of school and personal stuff, I think I’m getting a better sense of direction with my thesis. That, and I’ve gotten myself a gym membership with my mother’s help (and I need to get back into going to the gym during the weekend or the week after). Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again, then! And that’s not even everything yet!
As for Tobbywork plans, I plan on working up my meme and voice acting skills during the weekend. That, and I’ve gotten into writing some animation scripts as well lately (and I gotta send ’em to a certain someone eventually). I also have a song or two in my mind decided on for my next covers, and I’ve also been making progress with writing certain lyric sheets. I can probably kill my boredom further and have a more worthwhile time if I try to work up freestyles and fanfiction in between all those research and chores…though I’m also struggling with getting enough sleep and not gaming and surfing too much, and I’ve been pushing my sensitive self too hard with arrogance as well. Thank God for my girlfriend, my family, my friends, and more very much for helping me deal with it better, even though my progress is slow. Like, really, how they can still be helpful to me even though I’m struggling so much just makes me want to do better! Praise be to God Almighty very much again, then!
And hey, Lent starts today. I get the feeling that the tougher challenges I’ve been getting lately have been doing a good job reminding about that, and man, I don’t think I would be looking at it that way without the help of God. It’s a time to remember how lowly we are, but at the same time, it’s also a time to remember what we really have to go through to reach salvation.
So yeah, time to head back to ordinary life. God Almighty keep on helping us all!
Okay, good news, this semester is now more likely to be my final semester, and I very much want to make it so, so yeah, probably bad news, I’m gonna be invisible online some more as I work to keep my head together and better as I make some short stories and a critical introduction for said short stories.
Now, why am I doing these posts again? Well, conceit is one thing…so yeah, I think it would be better for me to speak through my works more. They’ll pop up suddenly, so just go on with learning and improving with your ordinary days over there and don’t go kill yourself over me, please.
So, what do I got this time, then? Look right below this, yo:
Hm, I should have more numbered post lists in future update posts like this, too…
Also, I got some fun stuff in the upload queue of my Tobbywork plans already, but I’m just waiting for some good timing and thinking of how to plan posting stuff in a more organized way, for reasons like “Why should I change my Pinned Posts on my social media zones so quickly?” That, and more important stuff that allow me to do all this Tobbywork stuff better and better. Said more important stuff includes school life, home life, love life, all that stuff. Ah, and I really need to separate going through entertainment for work and going through entertainment for relaxation in my head, ’cause I now don’t think that it’s as healthy as I imagined before…
Well, God Almighty keep on helping us all, then! And praise and thanks be to Him very much yet again for all the progress! \(*A*)/
I’ll be honest: 2018 felt like a long year for me, and I realized that as I looked back at all the MTPAU posts I made for the past months of that year. Updates have been less frequent, and I hadn’t posted anything else during February. Still, it’s not like nothing good came out of all of that, so yeah, praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much because of that, then.
And speaking of good stuff, I should continue counting my blessings, and perhaps this sort of post can be quite a good way to do better~
But first, I’d like to get December 2018’s list of posts out of the way:
Now, back to what I was going to talk more about: blessings. I think I’ve said something like this before in my Christmas reflection this year, but anyway, blessings are stuff to count more than lack, and of course, it’s more difficult to do than counting zero and repeating zero over and over and over. I mean, really, think about the difficulty of going “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten” and so on compared to just saying “Zero” over and over and over again. Zero counting’s too easy for me, and I’ve been getting bored of it, though at the same time, it becomes tempting when the difficulty in counting gets higher and higher.
Zero counting becomes particularly tempting, though, when I try to count how many blessings I alone have brought upon myself:
Now, as much as it can be real nice to feel like I can sing Drake’s “All Me” with confidence, that is something I can only achieve by lying to myself. Okay, so what does that leave me with? Self-deprecation like we usually do these days, especially online? What does that make all my growth, then? And what does that make all your growth? Social constructs created by the lying minds and hearts of humanity? If so, then why the freaking nuts are we still here, then?
Thus, I find myself seeing more and more sense in giving praise and thanks to God Almighty very much every single day. Oh, and I’m now an officially committed member of my university’s Christ’s Youth in Action. I’m quite surprised by how fast it took for me to get there, really…and I thought I was being lazy the whole time, going to all those gatherings because I felt the pressures of free time and parental guidance! God Almighty has been blessing a fool, indeed! Then again, Saint Paul already had a written note about that before in 1 Corinthians 4:10, so yeah, way ahead of me in the discovery there, yo…and that’s not even the first time it’s been proven that God’s been blessing fools.
And I could just refuse all those blessings and say “God, please let me prove myself by myself alone,” but as I have learned so many times before, that is simply an exercise in futility, for I’d be like the dumb preachers in Flannery O’Connor’s fiction pieces if I insist on doing that. Well, that, and God Almighty loves us as much as we ask Him to, and we can only prove ourselves when God lets us. Really, where does all the goodness in the universe come from, anyway? The void? Huh, no wonder I still find myself dumb and self-hating whenever I try to believe in me, myself, and I alone in living, then. Better not go tell others “Believe in yourself” without enough grounding, too. Does that make all the grinding we do pointless and unnecessary, though? Well, of course not, because we still have to teach each other about how to better count our blessings…and a bunch of us still don’t even know how to count blessings! I mean, really, just look at Our Lord Jesus Christ:
Seriously, with how we complain about work every single day, we might as well call it the most humiliating thing in life, all because of how tedious it can be and how empty it can make us feel with all the painful routine for shining rewards that easily slip away from us. Nailing ourselves to it would also make us more of a laughingstock to our fellow fools, then. I certainly felt something like that (mostly from myself, considering how things usually go for me) as I thought about how I was cutting down on my Tobbywork time and changing up the activities there for the sake of more important stuff. But remember: Crucifixion was the most humiliating way to go in Jesus’ time and society on earth, yet God Almighty the Son accepted such a fate for our sake. He let us treat Him like a slave so that He could get closer to us and show that He understands how much we feel like slaves too. Hard to imagine slave owners doing that, no? That, and it would make the prideful catch feelings, even if said prideful were also a slave trying to break free. I should know, ’cause I’ve had times when I considered any good non-existent as long as it were surrounded by evil…and thinking about it some more now, that’s quite a dangerous and cynical way to think about things, no?
And hey, the fact that we can do good is proof that we can relate to God Almighty! He’s Perfection, after all, and if He looks shady, then that’s just us foolish humans making Him look so. That, and if we’re nothing without God, then the fact that we can do good has to come from somewhere, nah?
Now, what the freaking nuts is all that religious rambling I’ve been doing? Well, it’s something I’ve been doing more and more of with the help of my lovely girlfriend (We’re now one year into our relationship, OH YEAH!) as well during the past year, helping me practice and express my faith better and better, especially as she stays with me despite how hurtful, stupid, and saddening I can be a bunch of times. I’ve been doing that rambling more through voice chats than through writing before, though, and now, thanks to all that help, I have gained more confidence in being more religious in public. Huh, and I guess CYA (and a lot more instruments of God Almighty) has been helping me more than I thought. Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again, then!
Okay, now I should really go down to more ordinary levels and come out of the UFO I have been booming all my talk in. Like, I have been getting a lot of feedback, especially from school, about how my writing lately has been very…alienating.
And speaking of school, I’ve been doing okay…well, unless you count how I’m trying to catch up for my thesis, which caught me not taking it seriously enough, no matter how much I believed I was. Like, I’m still stuck in whipping up a decent proposal portfolio for the prerequisite Poetics class, and that state was also caused by how ignorant and ungrateful I was towards my education, particularly my university (Seriously, I have this strong feeling that I pissed off my Poetics Professor real hard). Bad news is that I may need to extend for another semester past the upcoming one and pay for that extension (and the boarding house unit rent and more), good news is that I only have one other lecture class to accomplish in my curriculum. In other words, I have to take this more seriously and make something freaking awesome with all this time I’m taking, and freaking nuts, I know I can, especially with God Almighty around! I gotta count my blessings and teach others how to count theirs as well! And really, thinking about it some more, isn’t that how research is supposed to go? Like, we have to look back at all the good things humanity has done before, and then we go build something better out of all that! It’s not an exercise in envy, but an exercise in growth. If we’re gonna note mistakes, failures, weaknesses, and voids and all that, then they’re for us to fill, fix, and improve…but that’s easier said than done. Again, zero counting can be quite tempting with its crazy easy, especially while going through struggle. Still, at the very least, we can do better, and God Almighty certainly understands how we need to struggle to do so! I mean, really, take another look at Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Praise and thanks be to Him very much again, yo!
Now, although I found a potentially better idea for my thesis recently, I’d like to take it easy right now and set it aside for after vacation. Again, I struggle with rushing stuff, and all that rushing makes me wanna be more complacent. That, and with how older I’m growing now, I gotta remember to learn and do chores and relaxation better. And thankfully, my family isn’t overdemanding, and if they are, then at the very least, they really strive well towards understanding us better. Otherwise, they’d probably be doing things like going all stingy on me about paying for the boarding house unit I have right now. And man, I think I’m realizing how more about how stupid I’ve been to them because of how I ask them not to bug me during my free time for my enjoyment, all while asking them at times to bug me hard during my free time to prevent excess, as if I don’t have any bit of ability to do so. I guess I really shouldn’t complain so much when they go hard on me, then. I mean, sure, they’re not perfect, but still, they know better than me, and I gotta know what I gotta work with and how to work it well before I go learn about how to work it better.
And as for my siblings, I really should give them more credit. One brother has more street smarts than me, my sister has better fashion, makeup, and sports sense, and the youngest brother is learning how to socialize and live better than we all thought! And I really should cut my remaining living grandparents some slack, since they’re peeps who taught my mother a lot about how to give it all for loved ones, and along with that, my parents will be as old as them one day, and I’ll be as old as my parents as well. If I don’t have faith in them, I might as well have no faith in myself and the rest of humanity. Good thing God’s here to help us out in our strive and struggle, then!
So yeah, now I have to remember how much I good have with me as I work up stuff. I mean, why pretend to be from somewhere lower? Yes, even in rapping, which I’ve been doing more of during 2018. And yes, I now feel like I don’t need to pretend to be from some neighborhood that seems more impoverished than it actually is, especially after all the schooling I had to go through in many ways…Besides, if being rich and popular means being a clown, then hey, at least I got a decent job. Really, the world needs some better clowns too, yo!
Besides, there’s no need to be scared of going religious while being a clown too, especially since being real means being weirder than fiction! Them big rappers out there are complaining about getting their styles bitten, too, so yeah, I really should help them out with that! And hey, I guess God’s telling me something, considering how I have a leader bro in CYA who has some nice appreciation for rap as well! Praise and thanks be to Him very much again, then!
Oh, and speaking of music, I’ve been making and postingsong coversand other music stuff with a pace closer to that of the pace my faves usually take with their work. So far, my girlfriend’s getting more and more impressed, so I guess I’m going somewhere better! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again, then! Also, I’d like some more and continued help with slowing down and being more careful with my work pace in general…Maybe I can even make and strengthen more friends through my work that way, too!
And speaking of friends, well, I’ve been feeling like I have really weird friends, maybe even alienating just like me, especially considering how I see cynicism and craziness prominent in a lot of them…or maybe they’re just doing a good job at exposing how cynical and crazy I myself have been. Or both…though the latter’s more likely. I got friends like Medieval Otaku, friends I consider wiser than me when it comes to the ways of God and the world. I got friends like silverbug28, friends I feel like debating with as well. And I got friends like PastorThomasNelson, friends I wanna go crazy with. Oh, and there’s also friends like Biwa/Kisaragi and YUuuu/Roa., who feel like really nice people to talk with, so nice that I feel shy and find myself struggling with self-loathing again, though at the same time, I wanna talk and work with them more.
Alright, I should just love myself, and at the same time (not one before the other, yo), love others and God Almighty. With that, it’s time to understand, acknowledge, and improve! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again!
Now, is there anything else I consider worth talking about for this announcement/reflection/update post…? Writing? Like, fiction and poetry I made and posted as Tobby? Well, I consider “The Most Beautiful Challenge” my favorite original fiction piece I posted during 2018 (though I made it during the year before it), while “The Empress and Her Guard” is my favorite poem I posted during 2018 (and I also made it during 2017, I think). I also find my 2018 progress for my Fate Series fanfic Crawling to the Dawnimpressive. And I also made one comic during 2018, and along with that are a new bunch of practice drawings, which also got me learning from a CYA bro that I need to work on my foundations (e.g. circles and lines and all that for figures and stuff), thus getting me motivated to some practice drawings for that:
You know what, I’ll throw in one more drawing I haven’t posted yet:
And with that…well, I’m back to zero again. Guess it’s time to end this post, then.
So yeah, that’s pretty much what 2018 got me, I think. I feel like I missed something, but I guess I’ll leave that to y’all readers of mine. I can’t just sit here thinking and typing about this forever, y’know! That, and I can and should make blog post writing less on-the-spot (e.g. setting an upload date and writing the post for a set number of days before that date). Besides, considering what I’ve learned, the best works of art are well-planned surprises, so yeah…and man, doesn’t that sound like something God Almighty’s real good at?
Praise and thanks be to God very much yet again, then. And hey, Happy New Year to all of you, too! God keep on blessing you all!
Okay, I feel like whatever specifics I have about the events of this month are blurred because of how tough it has been for me. Still, I’m certain that I’ve been managing to reach out for improvement and blessings, so thank God Almighty very much again and again and again!
And hey, I should say that all that stress has gotten me making real interesting Tobbywork pieces, and so far, the most interesting to me there are two poems. I also have some fanfiction chapters in the works, and I decided to indulge my impulse to write a Danganronpa fanfiction. I also have a KagePro fanfiction up on the list of stuff nearing the upload phase, but I think I may need to revise it some more…
Oh, and I really should get to recording them rap lyrics I already wrote down, especially a sort of relaxation from all the stresses of my daily duties and responsibilities and all that schtick. That, and freestyle more. I’ve been finding myself enjoying hip-hop more and more lately, y’know? Like, I even enjoy learning about its history! And I don’t freaking mind if I’m gonna mix my hip-hop practice with my appreciation for Vocaloid music~
Ah, and speaking of music, I’ve made a new Spotify playlist. I don’t feel like explaining how that came about, though. My head’s flown off my shoulders more than enough, yo.
As for school, I have to deal with projects and finish them within a week or two. Like, they’re creative outputs and critical papers, and let them be proof that being a Creative Writing student is just another brand of difficulty, even if it’s my passion. Though hey, I’d like to thank God Almighty very much, still, for I can feel Him through things like how after-school has been more and more fun with my religious org now in my life…like, I’m now an official member of it, too!
And speaking of God, man, I can feel Him pushing me to be more consistent in terms of following Him. Like, even through loved ones I manage to piss off with my fame-obsessed ass and skeptical peers I have to deal with everyday. Witnessing the merciful justice of the former and the relatable complexity of the latter makes me wanna praise and thank God very much, alright. God Almighty keep on helping us all, then!
Now, here are the posts I put up in this blog this month: