A Cosplay Date at CosMania 2019

Apologies, I’ve been late with the most recent monthly update on this blog. I’ve been going through a lot.

For one, I resigned from my first job, which I was in for around a month. I realized that I’ve been betraying myself a lot by worrying too much about how I look to others and trying to be someone I can’t be, causing harmful confusion. The company I worked for certainly wasn’t a bad one, but the job just didn’t fit me, and I kept on denying it to myself. Remembering my promises about giving myself a break and more time for creative works after graduation also added to the pressure against my self-deception. Praise and thanks be to God very much for my former employers’ understanding and my peaceful exit, too.

Now I’m trying to give myself a break through a life at home. It seems to mostly require me being more assertive, which I’ve been fearing because of how thin the line between assertiveness and abuse is. That fear also makes it easier for me to loathe myself, which then makes loathing others easier, thus causing me to do what I’ve been fearing to my loved ones.

Thank God very much for having that struggle help me get me back to praying the Rosary, then. It’s a nice surprise to find myself appreciating the Joyful and Glorious Mysteries more despite and because of my distress. I also had a funny time with it: I found myself praying the Rosary once again after a very long while on a day that was meant not only for the Joyful Mysteries but also for the Feast of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary.

But before all that, there was a date I had with my girlfriend Pat. Like the last time we did so, we went to the first day of this year’s Cosplay Mania as a date. It was our second date at an anime convention, and my third visit to an anime convention (I blogged about the first here a few years ago, by the way). Most of the impact it had on the aforementioned significant happenings that followed came from after our leg-numbing walk in the event halls, when we found ourselves stuck in our worries about being far away from each other again, going back to more work and less sleep, staying safe through the night trips, and more. Of course, all that wouldn’t have been so striking without the fun times that came before that.

Said fun times also involved us going in cosplay, with Pat as Ayano Tateyama and I as Shintaro Kisaragi. We’ve managed to line up with the name of the event better! Continue reading “A Cosplay Date at CosMania 2019”

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Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – August 2019

Only other post this month is a cover of kemu’s “Chikyuu Saigo no Kokuhaku wo,” yo. Not like it’s been an uneventful month, though.

For one, I’ve already begun working. To give you an idea, it’s an office job. Also, I can continue to build up my musical knowledge and taste via Spotify there.

And speaking of music, while practical production of original music continues to be slow, my habit of reading (mostly Pitchfork) music reviews continues to be stoked. It’s like going through university again, which means deep insights gained by facing the torturous human soul and then crawling back to God Almighty as I try to make some concrete goodness out of it all. Oh, and going back to the topic of work, I think I can make a friendship with my mentor there, as Pitchfork was the first name he asked about in response to when I told him about music reviews as an answer to his question about what I’ve been reading lately. Still, as much as I wish to be some bombastic charismatic, I have a hard time believing that every person that catches a modicum of my interest would be able to put up with my weirdness (and no, I don’t just mean that weirdness that those cliched hacks out there like to spit platitudes about).

Also, my blog’s six years old now. Never thought that this attempt at an online presence would last this long, alright. Still feeling ambitious, but I want caution to balance it out some more.

Speaking of writing, I’ve been doing more of that on my phone than I do on my computer. A bunch of short story drafts have been completed there, but I’ll need more motivation to work them into a desktop word processor. And as usual, I think I’ve been writing more disordered order fantasies than ordered human experiences, which reminds me of my need to have a writing group or something (and yes, that can also help in the seemingly easier study and practice of fanfiction writing, but of course, that would require a different bunch of people). Again, it’s hard for me to find people who’d kindly bother to put up with me and keep my eccentricities in check on a regular basis.

In the realm of gaming, I have already cleared the story mode of Devil May Cry 4. Among the things I’ve learned about myself there is that I suck in the School of Nero, especially in the Buster classes. As for mobile gaming, I continue to play Honkai Impact 3, which my girlfriend has gained more interest in (especially because of a certain newly playable younger sister figure voiced by Mai Nakahara in the Japanese dub) yet still cannot play due to phone storage priorities. On the other hand, Pat has been helping me get into BanG Dream!, and while phone storage priorities also keep me from having the game in my phone, I have become quite interested in the original music the franchise has (which I also decided to check out because of the awesome Vocaloid covers that the franchise has).

As for more breaktime stuff, I need to have a better sleep routine because of my job as well. And my job will likely end up having me posting as Tobby on weekends even more now, which means a likely schedule change for these this post series, though I think it’s a good thing for my blogging in general ’cause finally, I can have a more regular blogger schedule with that setup…or I would be even more irregular as I pick a weekend to produce and a weekend to post. But who knows, maybe I’ll find something better than those options as I go on with my young professional life.

So yeah, God Almighty keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him very much for the strength and the challenges again. Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – July 2019

It was only yesterday when I realized that I forgot to write a digest post for the recently past month. Adding to the trouble was how it was the night before a morning with a job interview. Fortunately, my girlfriend helped me focus better again, and before I came back to this, I came in and out of the interview with a good amount of confidence! That, and I did the usual dishwashing. I think I’m getting a little more used to all those big piles of dirty dishes, too…

Anyway, what the heck was I up to last month? Oh yeah, July 2019 was a month when I managed to get back to writing original fiction (prompted, but still) and a Tobby’s Recommendation Yell! That, and I was also having fun with Devil May Cry games, particularly 3 and 4, both of them Special Edition (and my stylish action skills need a lot of polishing, though, so yeah, I better be chiller about it). And as you may have noticed already, I was also spending time looking for a job and prepping for that sort of stuff (and I praise and thank God Almighty very much for my parents and their help as well).

As for other things I’ve been doing, there’s a bunch of story drafts and review drafts that have been growing. Surprisingly, making music hasn’t been high up in my priorities lately. The same goes for writing fanfiction, more or less, though I still listen to music and read fanfiction pieces a lot. Also been feeling like playing video games more. Ah, and for better concentration, I removed social media apps from my phone.

Anything else? Well, I guess the rest are a bunch of things I’d rather be quiet about, either for now or for never.

So yeah, as usual, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. God Almighty keep on helping us all!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – June 2019

Okay, nuts, I’m now officially graduated from university! And then I’ll be looking for a job after a month of rest! LIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Well, at least God Almighty’s around. May He keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him yet again.

Now, what the heck did I do during June…?

Oh yeah, there’s this new page on my blog. If you’re looking for big and official works I’ve been in, I made a more convenient spot for it. More to come in the future, yo.

I also posted a new chapter of Crawling to the Dawn. I’m also working up my plans for its future chapters. Outlines change a lot of things for the better, it seems…

Also, I reblogged a post from Nami. I knew about her thanks to my good ol’ friend Medieval, by the way. Oh, and I’m still gonna work up a certain cover of a certain BTS song. I should get to that sometime soon…

And speaking of song covers, I covered KIRA’s “Monster.” Also, I’m liking Vocaloid music in English more and more lately, so much that I’m really working on a review of a Vocaloid album from there.

As for other things, I’ve been getting more and more fun ideas to write down as short stories thanks to all that thesis work I went through. I should fit a good amount of writing time into my future routine, alright. I’ve been hearing God’s call a lot more clearly lately, see.

Also, I mentioned reviews a while ago, so yes, I’m gonna mention reviews again here. Actually, no, I’m gonna talk about reflections, though they’re also reviews, just not the “Yeah, speechlessly 10/10!” type. So yeah, Superheroes vs God Almighty is gonna get some more content in the near future.

Hmm, what else…oh yeah, music again. I’ve been making more originals lately. Having listened to a bunch of albums with Spotify and long bus trips helps me out there, too. That, and along with helping me review music better, reading music reviews has been helping me there as well.

Ah, and I’ve been getting inspiration to write poetry again! Making illustrations and recording readings are a different story now, though…

And I think I should spend more time with games to help me relax better, particularly more on my PC and less on my phone. That, and do chores and exercise. And be more forgiving.

Okay, I think that’s it for now. I need that honest constructive feedback, too. Oh, and I also need worthwhile job opportunities. So yeah.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – May 2019

Finally, my thesis is officially accomplished! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much again!

And yeah, I hadn’t posted anything past the monthly update post last month. But I’ll certainly be getting to uploading more stuff again sooner! I do have the graduation ceremony to prepare for during the month of June, but hey, more free time, y’know?

That, and I should make a page or two here for stuff like voice acting roles and all that. I’m getting closer to the professional life, and I need to act the part better, after all. Plus, I’m trying to get into voice acting more actively after certain recent developments that got me feeling more motivated! ^w^

But first, I also think I need to rest more. Or at least feel like I have a better hold on my time. God Almighty keep on helping us all. \(=w= )

I also have a long post in the works, and it’s a Tobby’s Recommendation Yell, which I haven’t been doing for a long while. Higher enthusiasm, confidence, and, hopefully, knowledge have me going at it again, and if you haven’t checked my social media hard enough yet, it’s gonna be about a certain Circus-P album.

And of course, there’s a song cover and some fanfic stuff coming up. They’ll appear suddenly but certainly this month, so yeah.

So with all that…well, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. And I need good peeps to more regularly hang out with for better artistry…which probably needs more initiative on my part than on theirs. Well, I guess these coming days are bigger opportunities for that better stuff, then! Praise and thanks be to God Almighty yet again for the strength and the challenges, then! \(^w^)/

Also, yes, I changed the site’s theme. Whatcha think about that? 😀

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – April 2019

Yo. Apologies for the late update. It’s now the final month of the semester, and workload’s been going up a lot more as it came around. It’s a lot more significant with this meant to be my final semester in uni as well, so yeah, I’mma take stuff here slow as I put more focus on my schoolwork.

And speaking of schoolwork, I think I’m seeing a good chance to deeply face some personal issues I have through my thesis work. That, and I learned about how I’m struggling with purple prose…among other things.

Also, I’ve been making some progress with fanfic stuff and song cover stuff. You’ll be seeing clearer progress more likely after I’m done with my thesis work.

Now, as for last month’s posts…

  1. Tobby’s Freestyle Rap Practice Compilation 13
  2. Weekend Meme Voice Acting Session 3
  3. Easter Reflection 2019

I gotta chill out some more, though. Still got a lot more work coming soon, after all. Praise and thanks be to God for the strength and challenges again, then. May He keep on helping us all as well.

Easter Reflection 2019

I could take shots at people who forget that Easter is a Catholic event in the first place and all that here today, but I feel like I’d easily forget to think about it on a more personal level, so yeah, I’mma go for a personal reflection today. Also, yes, it’s been days since Easter Sunday, but I wanna make some reflections on Catholic events past Christmas more and more here, so yeah.

So, Easter. Pasko ng Pagkabuhay in Filipino. Christ did the Ultimate Sacrifice, and then He resurrected three days later. In the Gospel of John, Mary Magdalene expected it more than Peter did, but she mistook the Lord for a gardener soon after. The first half was something that came to mind thanks to the priest’s homily during this year’s Easter Sunday, and the second half wasn’t covered in the Gospel reading for that same day, but connecting those got me fascinated. I mean, I got a look at how humble Mary Magdalene was there as well. She knew she was talking to Jesus soon enough, specifically when He called her by name, and thinking about it some more, I think I also saw God’s love some more there! Like, He could’ve struck her down for not recognizing Him so easily, but He didn’t. He probably expected that, even, but in the first place, He’s looking for faith, so that happened.

Thinking about all that further, I guess I gotta accept that I’ll feel moments of doubt and have slip-ups and all that at times. Along with that, whether constructive or destructive, other people will have to point out that I’m doing something wrong at times. I tend to try to get ahead of other people and their feedback, see, thinking myself perfectly self-aware, but if I can do that so easily, then there’d be no need for things like the workshops I have to go through during Creative Writing classes, and I wouldn’t need to worry about audience and critical reception when I put my creative works out there. All that racing I’m doing against my audience and critics just makes me look worse, and I guess all that is also why I have people telling me to stop saying “Sorry” so much. My faith in them is low, and with that, my faith in God would be low as well. I can still say that I have faith in myself there, but with those two accompanying voids, I’m just a selfish and arrogant nut.

And if I just let that be, then I’ll have a hard time thinking about how to get out of it. I’ll blame it all on others alone, and then I’ll think myself the best even while being the worst. Despair would eat at me more easily there, alright.

But then there’s God. Sounds easy, but it ain’t, yet He’s still there, bugging me to get up and take His hand and all that. I like to think that I hold on to Him well, but the slaps upon my face remind me of my blindness again, for what else can it be when the one doing the slapping is the Ultimate Ultimate who can make suffering redemptive? There’s this great source of strength waiting for me, and all I need to do is believe and let the divine work be done upon me. I can’t be perfect, but I can still believe in Perfection and be helped by Him, yeah?

And hey, if I were to think about this in tandem with Christmas, then I guess it’s like witnessing a promise fulfilled once again. God’s that awesome, alright. And I guess I should look up to Him when it comes to facing myself and my fellow idiots. I mean, I hate having to deal with idiots and all the crap they do, but then there’s God, who’s even willing to take the most humiliating schtick we can do to another human just to prove to us that He loves us very very much. And now, as I think again about the act of asking God to prove how much He loves us, I feel even more stupid once again, and I even feel like beating myself so hard again. But at the same time, I feel more hopeful and motivated, and I wanna get out of all that self-destruction. I’ll have to face the noise of the insecure and self-deprecating crowd who would rather keep me in misery’s love for company, but why should I give in to doubt when God’s around to help us all through each other, even when we suck? And if He can still do something great for us even with the moments when we refuse Him, then what more if we accept Him?

I should keep that in mind, alright. And ask y’all for feedback.

So yeah…feedback, please. Honest constructive feedback, please. 🙂

And of course, praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again for all the strength and the challenges! God Almighty keep on helping us all, too! \(^o^)/

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – March 2019

It’s April Fools’ Day, and as I look back at my posts during the previous month, I find myself with quite a…surprisingly fitting sight:

  1. Weekend Meme Voice Acting Session 1
  2. Weekend Meme Voice Acting Session 2

I have the Discord of Lurkers (which also has my girlfriend now) to thank for that very much. Seriously.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – February 2019

By the way, it’s the birthday of a brother of mine today. Happy Birthday, bro!

Anyway, yes, I’m late with this. Been dealing with school and personal stuff, see. Also, man, I haven’t been posting much. I have my cover of Circus-P’s Copycat, and then there are reblogs of posts by Prof. Dalisay, Mrs. Juneau, and Mr. Hayes.

Ah, and speaking of school and personal stuff, I think I’m getting a better sense of direction with my thesis. That, and I’ve gotten myself a gym membership with my mother’s help (and I need to get back into going to the gym during the weekend or the week after). Praise and thanks be to God Almighty very much yet again, then! And that’s not even everything yet!

As for Tobbywork plans, I plan on working up my meme and voice acting skills during the weekend. That, and I’ve gotten into writing some animation scripts as well lately (and I gotta send ’em to a certain someone eventually). I also have a song or two in my mind decided on for my next covers, and I’ve also been making progress with writing certain lyric sheets. I can probably kill my boredom further and have a more worthwhile time if I try to work up freestyles and fanfiction in between all those research and chores…though I’m also struggling with getting enough sleep and not gaming and surfing too much, and I’ve been pushing my sensitive self too hard with arrogance as well. Thank God for my girlfriend, my family, my friends, and more very much for helping me deal with it better, even though my progress is slow. Like, really, how they can still be helpful to me even though I’m struggling so much just makes me want to do better! Praise be to God Almighty very much again, then!

And hey, Lent starts today. I get the feeling that the tougher challenges I’ve been getting lately have been doing a good job reminding about that, and man, I don’t think I would be looking at it that way without the help of God. It’s a time to remember how lowly we are, but at the same time, it’s also a time to remember what we really have to go through to reach salvation.

So yeah, time to head back to ordinary life. God Almighty keep on helping us all!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – January 2019

Okay, good news, this semester is now more likely to be my final semester, and I very much want to make it so, so yeah, probably bad news, I’m gonna be invisible online some more as I work to keep my head together and better as I make some short stories and a critical introduction for said short stories.

Now, why am I doing these posts again? Well, conceit is one thing…so yeah, I think it would be better for me to speak through my works more. They’ll pop up suddenly, so just go on with learning and improving with your ordinary days over there and don’t go kill yourself over me, please.

So, what do I got this time, then? Look right below this, yo:

  1. Chapter 6 of Crawling to the Dawn
  2. a column written by an old Professor about his retirement
  3. my twelfth Freestyle Rap Practice Compilation
  4. a Josh W piece on some James Joyce stuff

Hm, I should have more numbered post lists in future update posts like this, too…

Also, I got some fun stuff in the upload queue of my Tobbywork plans already, but I’m just waiting for some good timing and thinking of how to plan posting stuff in a more organized way, for reasons like “Why should I change my Pinned Posts on my social media zones so quickly?” That, and more important stuff that allow me to do all this Tobbywork stuff better and better. Said more important stuff includes school life, home life, love life, all that stuff. Ah, and I really need to separate going through entertainment for work and going through entertainment for relaxation in my head, ’cause I now don’t think that it’s as healthy as I imagined before…

Well, God Almighty keep on helping us all, then! And praise and thanks be to Him very much yet again for all the progress! \(*A*)/