Just Proud of You, Never Loving You

Yeah, this is basically Lisa the Tearer but without the tryharding at being a VTuber. And by that, I also mean that these videos will be more independent of each other. I was thinking of not having dedicated blog posts about these, too, but I think I’d be underselling myself like that, so yeah, here’s me with a commentary, especially for folks who bother to check this blog out.

Now, yes, I attempted to do a Devil roleplay monologue here as a Roman Catholic. This may not be the last attempt at such, too. In fact, it’s pretty much the core of my villainous roleplaying here. I’ve been wanting to write villain protagonists this evil as well, but I feel as if I cannot ever meaningfully portray such characters through plain prose writing, and I remember how I would enjoy going through memorable clips and quotes of popular characters, so stuff like that led me to tell stories starring these evil folks through roleplay monologues like this.

And why call someone the Devil if they aren’t some scumbag like the guy in the above portrayal? Some of us would think that the Devil’s side is just in bigotry done in the name of religion, while others would think that it’s just in activism done in the name of irreligion, but all of us are ignorant of how the Devil actually plays all sides for himself and himself alone. Yeah, if you thought wrapping your head around the most infamous criminals’ behaviors is hellish, trying that on the Devil’s behaviors is going to be, well, hell. It’s pretty much by the grace of God that we can understand and fight him, then. And if this roleplay does help someone out there be a truly good person, then chalk that up to Him and His hilariously awesome grace and not me and my unfortunately convincing acting.

As for more technical stuff, well, I had this wonderful illustrator named Syd, whom I first encountered through the KoMETA Virtual Live fan community, do the character art in the vid. I was looking for a more effeminate design, actually, but fortunately, my attempt at even more toxic masculinity was foiled, leading to that character art that looks a lot more like yours truly and his fat bastardry. Also, as I want folks to better understand what the heck I’m saying, I’m having them speeches transcribed in the videos. I’d like to be more stylish about it, though, so yeah, expect me to fumble around some more with that stuff.

Further plans for this sort of content? Well, I got two more scripts ready, and I’m planning to release once a month. Now, I’d like some honest constructive feedback, please.

A Moment of Silence Today

A Moment of Silence Today

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo


We need a moment of silence
But we need to speak up
About issues about problems
About the news about gossip
About how somebody died
Through some words spoken
About some named person
Brought up with spikes through them
Hanging on their wood for love
Bearing no cross marking wrong
Answers, that’s all we want
As we leash our breaths up
For our research on silence
Which means death which means emptiness
Which means hell which means earth again
And again and again and I’ll gain
Knowledge that doubts the truths of the earth
Doubted with the restraint of heaven, I burn
Like Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in the cave
We sing of every December day.

Jesus, King of the Problematic

Jesus, King of the Problematic

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo


Here lies Jesus, King of the Problematic
Called himself “The Chosen”
Jailed with the bigoted
Wouldn’t let go of the hopeless
Said he loved them all
Hated letting them hang without full fall

He could’ve been a good rainbow man
But he let Judas kiss him like that
He could’ve ended empires
But he made Herod and Pilate friends
He could’ve been a good Jew
But he let Hitler be born into our world
Why make our undeserved suffering even worse?

At least bigots hate him today
For such men, it’s the only exception we’ll make
If he resurrected, then he’s a cockroach
But even as he’s dead, his cultists still approach
As silent as he was accused
Worse than the calls of Cthulhu
But we’re not making a religion out of this.

Fires of Heaven

Fires of Heaven

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo for his dad’s birthday


May the fires of heaven burn away my sin
Through retribution, restoration, whatever means You wish.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames without mercy,
Flames You entrusted to us but we used to damn us sinners.

May the fires of heaven illuminate my path
Through the sun up above, a lamp in hand, whatever form You want.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames in vain,
Flames to make us guides but we used to drive astray.

May the fires of heaven warm my heart into virtue
Through a slow burn, a sudden surge, whatever way You will.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames made proud,
Flames You shared to us but we shared without love.

May the fires of heaven burn and light and warm
Through anything and everything, as long as You want it done.
I am one of many fools who may turn them into hell’s,
But Your faith saves me, or I cannot save myself.

Some Madman’s Marriage Proposal Idea

Some Madman’s Marriage Proposal Idea

by Jem De Ocampo


Dear Future Girlfriend,

I think I have already asked you this in so many different ways during our dates and communications, but being direct is also essential, so here: Will you marry me?

And again, I do not want your answer just yet. I still have not reminded you again about what I exactly mean by that question. What do I exactly mean by that, then?

Will you go into everyday battle against me until one of us dies? After all, I am a proud fool, and you are a proud fool, and if one person cannot decisively fix another, then I would rather have us try to outdo each other in terms of progressing in being truly oneself, whatever we think that should be. I know that we can do that even outside of marriage, but I cannot imagine fighting being so much fun without the both of us living under the same roof. And if we have to have children, then they can join in the fighting and be like how we were with our own families.

Again, this is part of how I see true love and its eternal perfection, my love. Let us assume that love is blind, and I shall also assume that love also has its enhanced remaining four senses that can still track our sacks of crap that we try to hide every single day. Let us assume that love knows no bounds, and I shall also assume that love shall go against our prideful assumptions about its bounds, no matter how popular our prideful assumptions are. Let us assume that love conquers all, and I shall also assume that love has already humbly defeated and shall defeat us without ever losing since the beginning of everything and even despite and through the pain we give it, letting us defeated fools perceive our losses how we like and never forcing us to accept our losses like we usually would against those we consider our own enemies.

And again, there are so many beautiful women in the world, and I could gather a harem of them for a battle royale, but no matter how much I believe in my delusions about such things, one woman is already more than enough for a man to handle, just like how one man is already more than enough for a woman to handle. Plus, I would rather fight one opponent at a time, and I would like to properly see our fighting through. And while marriage will not completely erase the risk of one of us boring the other, I would rather die fighting you than live escaping you once we are married.

So if you think that we cannot ever be worthy and worthier opponents to each other in such a way of life, or if you think that this sort of fighting is not meant for you, then please refuse my proposal, and I shall still continue to wish you more truly worthwhile fights, whatever they must be for you. I love you, yes, but love is not necessarily romantic and erotic.

But if you do accept my proposal, then I would be very honored to serve and fight you at such higher levels.

So again, I ask you: Will you marry me?

With love,

Jem De Ocampo

A Prayer for God’s Word to Challenge and Guide Us Fools’ Word

A Prayer for God’s Word to Challenge and Guide Us Fools’ Word

by Jem De Ocampo


Lord God, You brought light out of the darkness with just words, which we foolish humans would often think are nothing in the face of other actions. You also gave us words to remember as rules, which we foolish humans would often presume to understand and follow and even make as easily and well as You do. And of course, Your Word became flesh and dwelt among us, fulfilling Your holy promises while humbling us fools’ proud declarations.

Again, Lord God, I ask that You guide us by Your Word, which also created us human beings in Your image and likeness. Please keep us foolish humans away from misinterpreting Your silences as well, for there are conditions where silence can speak better than sound, and silence has to work together with sound. We foolish humans’ word is simply a sinful thing, but whenever it truly blesses is ultimately because of You and Your Word working on and through them and us who convey them, so please keep up Your perfect work.

In the name of the Father who orders and creates with the Word, the Son who follows and leads as the Word Incarnate, and the Holy Spirit who guides and challenges as the Advocate of the Word, I pray that us fools’ word be challenged and guided further and further, Amen.

A Prayer for Worthwhile Times

A Prayer for Worthwhile Times

by Jem De Ocampo


Lord God, please keep me away from nostalgia, for my past experiences are mostly made up of suffering, both by others’ hands and my own hands, and I would rather outdo them. Please keep me away from naivete, for my desires for the future are often foolish, often in believing in us foolish humans more than in You, and I do not want to repeat the sins I’ve committed before. And please keep me away from complacency, for the present is a speck of dust that helps form rocks of strongholds and blind all eyes it flies into, and it would only be wholly helpful to us if we would wholly allow it to be so according to Your will.

Along with those, Lord God, please help me appreciate commemoration, for the past makes me who I am, both by others’ hands, both by others’ hands and my own hands, along with the present, and I would love to make more greater things out of it all. Please help me appreciate foresight, for while the future may not be completely certain and comfortable, desires can be wise on top of being able to turn into reality. And please help me appreciate devotion, which can be done well not only through these religious rituals but also through the other parts of our whole ordinary lives, for the instant that is the present is a gift to the future and a treasure from the past, especially if we allow them to be so according to Your will.

With that, please keep on challenging and guiding us, Lord God who created time and bound us fools with it, for tradition is formed and maintained by the test of time, and while we fools can make and uphold bad tradition, foolishness shall fall upon wisdom’s feet eventually, while Your tradition shall stand for eternity. In the name of the Father who teaches the Son following with the Holy Spirit, the Son who follows the Father teaching with the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit who teaches the Father and follows the Son, I pray for more and more worthwhile times for all of us, Amen.