Maintaining the Haven

Yet again, during a Sunday, though on my way to a Mass with my family and the prayer community we’re a part of, the saying “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” suddenly made more sense to me.

Well, I guess there was me also thinking about stuff to write about for my next reflection post. I kinda felt like I was running out of topics, really, especially with my mind spending a little too much time on my comp and on the Net again. Said overspending showed in things like me sneaking in bits of writing for this on my phone’s Notes feature…so yeah, I guess I should give thanks to God for using my phone’s kinda weakened battery to mess with my excessive desires.

Huh, now that makes me think about how laziness can kill motivation. And if you ask me, laziness isn’t doing nothing, but actually being unproductive. Like, really, one can be lazy in terms of sleeping!

But hey, I think I’m going tangential here, though considering what I want to talk about, perhaps I would end up tackling my other habits in life later on in this reflection.

So, cleaning up my room.

See, in my family’s house, I share a room with one of my younger brothers, specifically the one who’s also in college. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been subtly rubbing in his laziness in terms of keeping his stuff in order by trying to clean up for him without also politely telling him to clean his stuff up. I let out a lot of groans when the occasional time comes, times when I sweep out dust bunnies and pick up scattered and even hidden trash in our room. In other usual cases, I just leave his mess alone, just like that, thinking that he should just do everything ’cause he’s being such a messy guy…

And then I remember how there are other things that I can and should clean up, like those pieces of trash within the drawers we rarely clean up…and then there’s me remembering that it’s also my room, and not just my brother’s room.

Yeah, talk about a painful pride crusher.

But really, I gotta learn to clean myself more and more, or else I’d be more susceptible to sickness, and I’d also be stuck dumb with trying to teach others how to be clean. Sure, such a thing is probably not a decisive factor in improving my whole personal life, but a contributing factor still affects stuff, and they should not be underestimated as well.

And hey, the way I treat contributing factors still can say a lot about me, just like how bits of seemingly trivial info in my favorite stories are supposed to show a bigger picture. I guess contributing factors work that way too.

Hm, I seem to have gone on another tangent again, no? Well, whether or not that is case, I still want your honest constructive feedback.

Now, back to talking about cleaning my own room. Specifically, the obstacles in my way towards doing that right. And hey, I’ll try to talk about it like how my favorite stories do.

So, now’s some time for some questions and answers:

Q. The usual obstacles in my way towards actively cleaning my room when I have the time and energy?

A. Going online too much and waiting for cleaners too much.

Q. Why do I let those obstacles get in my way so much?

A. Because I still got a lot of important online work to do, and because there are people who should be doing cleaning instead of me.

Q. Speaking of cleaners, who are those people?

A. In my family’s house, it should be my brother. In my boarding house room, well, there are cleaners who come around from time to time.

Q. But what about the things I don’t want touched? And about my thoughts on my brother, why should he be cleaning the room?

A. For the former, well, fine, I do have to clean my own things up, especially since I know myself best when compared to other people. As for the latter, well, my brother’s a lazy butt who often forgets to bring his dirty plates out of the room and on to the kitchen sink, among other things.

Q. Okay, I guess my first answer is fair enough, but the second…Well, aren’t I forgetting those drawer and closet items which I haven’t been using for so long?

A. Uhh…but most of them are my brother’s.

Q. But I still have some that are mine, right?

A. …Yeah.

Q. And whose room is that again? My brother’s and…?

A. …Mine. But I still have more important work to do! Like with my comp! And online too!

Q. And what’s so important with my computer and online activities that I gotta forego cleaning the room?

A. Uhh…

Q. Come on, what am I gonna say?


Q. What?

A. A bunch of peeps out there are within reach of my amazing artistic potential, and I would like to develop it by creating and sharing and creating and sharing and…uhh…

Q. And what about that “JUSTICE!” I just screamed? What’s that got to do with this?


Q. Can my own self give me a detailed plan for that, then, please? Like, say, including how I’ll properly maintain my mind, body, and soul along the way and not succumb to the poisonous nuttiness that I want to defeat?

A. Uh…Uhh…Okay, you’re sounding just like Mom now, you know.

Q. Yes, it seems so, but aren’t I just trying to run away now at this point?

A. Okay, fine, I suck.

Q. I only suck?

A. Okay, I can improve too, so stop bugging me already!

So yeah, now’s a good time for me to get back to some actually productive work, no?
Also, God Almighty help me again. Sucking at tasks so ordinary, although not exactly a decisive factor, can still be a mark of my spiritual weaknesses. Thinking about that some more as well, I’ve realized that the capital sins that often get in my way lately are pride, lust, and sloth. I think too highly of myself, thinking that I’m way above doing ordinary tasks, even to the point of being a coward and lying to myself about what I can do when it comes to ordinary tasks. I long too much for fame and control, longing to keep on working on my online activities, desperate to get famous and powerful real quick, all while lying to myself that I’m doing things for the good of others. I groan a lot when I need to do chores, especially urgent ones, even blaming my tendency towards rigidity instead of fighting against said rigidity when I’m faced with such sudden things.

And yes, there is such a thing as lying to oneself. I myself still have difficulty with noticing such occurrences within me, and I think that my improved detection on those is pretty much a miracle being caused by God. So yeah, I thank God Almighty so much.

And hey, although I find this kinda awkward to say because of my dumb pride getting in my way when other people ask me to pray for them…well, I ask that you pray for me as well.

So yeah…honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.


Still Alive for Some Reason

Author’s Note: This story was written in response to the following prompt in the WritingPrompts subreddit:

Everybody has the ability to bring another person back to life, at the cost of their own life. You are a suicidal celebrity who can’t stay dead because of fans constantly sacrificing their lives to resurrect you.

This story was first posted on Reddit. Also, this a dark story, of course. Mature guidance is highly advised. Also, I feel like I’m not very strictly in line with the prompt…Anyway, I’d like to ask for your honest constructive feedback, still. I feel more motivated towards trying to be chill today, even though I’m feeling like I’m in a slump again.

Now, on to the story.

Continue reading

Asuka and Tobby tried to sing Viva Happy

New collab cover, yo! This time, it’s with Asuka, a friend I gained ’cause of the Say-U app and a bunch of other stuff. We tried to sing Mitchie M-sensei’s catchy “Viva Happy,” a song whose original Miku version should be checked out ’cause of the very human-sounding tuning of Miku there! Spending time on making this cover has gotten me wanting to improve my audio engineering skills more, and I really should log into Say-U again some time soon…

Also, I need more sleep. Looks like I’ll need to spend a lot of time resisting some annoying rage from me when it comes to having my phone and laptop kept far away from me during times like bedtime. My prioritizing is very messed up, and I gotta add more willpower from me while asking for help from others.

Now, before I end up rambling or doing something boring here, here’s this cover’s mp3. And again, thank you very much for having this collaboration with me, Asuka. 🙂

Some Instrumental Tracks that I Made with PxTone

So, I composed and arranged some tracks with help from a software called PxTone.

Now, about them tracks…

“Workshop Time” and “Critical Mind” were supposed to be songs, but after a long while of trying to make lyrics and vocals for them, I now think that they’re not good enough for lyrics and vocals. Still, I have some liking for them.

As for “Worthwhile Adventure,” I was trying to make a song, but I ended up making a BGM that sounds suitable in the World Map of an Eastern-style RPG.

And now, I’d like to ask for honest constructive feedback regarding these tracks of mine, dear nutshellcrackers, especially from peeps who have lots of experience in composing and arranging music. Also, I’ll probabaly upload an original song this month. 🙂

See you again in the den, nutshellcrackers! \(^o^)

Sitting Down And/Or Pacing Around #8

I really really hate loathing any person. No exceptions. I’ve already realized how unhealthy loathing any person is, you know. Like, we got awesomeness within us, and we need each other so that we can survive and find true happiness too. But hey, our imperfections are real things too. Our imperfections often keep us away from seeing our potential for awesomeness. When we get in trouble, we’re always responsible for it, and often, we try to believe in the “It’s not my fault” delusion. Our suffering is our fault, and I guess that’s why we often hate ourselves. But you know, what keeps me going and hopeful is our potential for awesomeness. Our potential for awesomeness is a real thing too. We people shouldn’t be here right now if our potential for awesomeness doesn’t exist, you know. So yeah, there’s hope, and we can fight against our weaknesses. And the person talking here is Tobby, a person who is, as usual, very angry at all the self-loathing that I see in myself and in other people. Ah, yes, I really wanna shove Holy Hand Grenades into the holes that we see a lot in bad behavior.


Oh hey, a freaking inspiring poem! 😀

River of Life

A big bold blur
Of entire life
In a rain drop
Hung in the air, then
Shuttered against hardened soil
Reduced to nothing
As if it never was.
Has it served its purpose?
Quenched the thirst,
Fed the hunger.
One drop in the millions, or
A million of ones,
However you look at it
One makes a difference
May be it was a crystal ball
Not a blur, after all.

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Precious Puzzle Pieces

A famous person once said
“The secret to true happiness
Is to not listen to others’ words.
Follow your heart and no one else’s.”

But when I looked at my heart,
I couldn’t fully trust it
Because why should I worship
That broken and imperfect object?

This thing in my chest
This thing that’s like a puzzle piece
It has been stabbing you and me
With bloody edges

Yet I find answers
When I fit it well
With other pieces
From other people

So I threw that advice away
And wrote another reminder for the day:
“Hearts and bonds are fragile but priceless
Pieces that shouldn’t be underestimated.”


Author’s Note: I’m now getting back into writing stories, and now, here’s a short story that was inspired by “Thought Bubbles,” a short story by Miss Corinne of Corinne’s Writing. Again, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated as well. Continue reading

Three-Day Quote Challenge – Day 3

And now, here’s my final post for the Three-Day Quote Challenge! Again, I thank Medieval Otaku very much for tagging me! I highly recommend checking out his posts for Day 2 and Day 3 of his shot at this challenge too!

Now, the rules of this challenge!

  1. Post one quotation a day for three days (they can be from other sources or one of your own).
  2. Nominate 3 other bloggers to participate per post.
  3. Thank the blogger who nominated you.

Now then, time for the Day 3 Quote…

Day 3 Quote

“I hate hating people. I do hate bad behavior, though.” — The Overlord Bear

For my last post for this challenge, I decided to share some of my own thoughts. I guess I can say that the above quote is something that I have said a lot in my interactions with people after I started calling myself “The Overlord Bear” in the Internet. I’m sure that there will be times when people will question me–and maybe even scorn me–because of my faith in humanity, especially in those who seem like they don’t deserve true happiness. I understand that sort of feeling, though, that “Why give that cruel person kindness?” sort of feeling, for I have felt that way when I was younger and more immature too. But after years of suffering and learning, I realized that we humans are imperfect since birth. And at the same time, I realized that we humans can improve too. Along with those realizations, I also realized that hating humans is counterproductive and not beneficial to fulfilling humanity’s desire for true happiness. We need each other, yes, but we don’t need our imperfections to rule us. I’ll hate your bad behavior, but I won’t hate your existence, fellow fools. I know that you have potential for true awesomeness, and why not be truly awesome, right? 🙂

And as for those who think that there are no rules, our existence defeats that thought. Oh, and I guess the “There are no rules” argument also defeats itself as well. Plus, to those who think that they can make rules, I’d like to say that we humans don’t and can’t make the laws of the universe. We’re just enforcers of the law, enforcers who don’t really understand all of the universe’s laws, enforcers who do a lot of trial-and-error, enforcers who would correct themselves when they know that they’re doing things wrong.

Praise the Lord, and God Almighty help us.

And now, here’s my last set of nominees:

  1. Celeste of Contemplans Profundes
  2. Juliet Lubega
  3. Sachi Ishii