From Prison, The TV Killer – A Persona 4 Fan Song

After a good while of working up higher-quality music productions, I’m now ready to drop more original stuff with higher production values (at least in terms of collaborators) like this one. And this isn’t really a cover or a remix. You know those works by nerdcore folks out there? And I still remember Circus-P’s “How to Pretend” as well. Does that one track I helped make in tribute to Uri’s The Boogie Man count, though? Anyway, they can be passed off as originals, but they are also explicitly shown to be in tribute to established intellectual properties. And while I wanted to release this for free via Bandcamp, as I’m relying a lot on the name of and even some audio samples from an established intellectual property here, I recently set up an artist account there and had my assumptions about its free download system dashed, so yeah, I’m gonna release it still on Bandcamp only, but as a name-your-price thing, though please remember that “Another obvious villain we can cancel anytime” isn’t just some ironic tagline. Sure, I guess those who’d pay me are folks who seriously like me and my stuff for one reason or another on top of having the money for it, especially since stuff like music videos are around to help them decide how much they’d support the stuff, but still, PLEASE, pay and support like someone with a life.

All that aside, I wasn’t really expecting the new Persona announcements when I decided on the upload date for this. What a coincidence, right? Anyway, Persona 4 has been quite on my mind again lately, what with stuff like my sucky and discontinued attempts at streaming it and my desire to accomplish all its Achievements on Steam plus my delays at doing so. As for how I still want to play it some more, I guess it’s also because I’ve been realizing how much of an impact it’s made on my life, especially my art. Maybe I should write up a TRY for it sometime? But I digress.

What, you want me to be more explicit about the identity of this song’s POV character? Well, I think the song’s done more than enough there already. And even if I were quite lax about spoilers, which I am, I’d still recommend playing the game for yourself. To give you an idea without wasting my TRY chance, it’s very story-driven, so much that it borderline overshadows the gameplay, but the story is way more integrated with the gameplay than it seems, and they’re integrated well enough to make quite the enjoyable game. The writing has its flaws, especially considering stuff like how this fan song’s POV character upstaged the heroes, but as a reflection of my actually questionable character, I find them pretty endearing, especially with how they come off as honest through stuff like a mix of personal and public perception being an essential to the formation of the boss Shadows. And I’m further digressing here.

Now, as for other stuff about the song, I did the lyrics and vocals and video. But before that, I commissioned and spoiled fellow “spiral tones” remix contest winner Recoyale into composing and arranging for me here. I don’t think I solidly knew what sort of sound I wanted at the start, actually, and I picked Reco because he was someone I felt I could approach easily enough. But once I heard what he got for me, writing lyrics and working vocals flowed more smoothly than I expected! The result is this crumbling structure that goes from rapping to singing and then speaking, all with frigid and somber tones that both emphasize and engulf the POV character’s personality, complete with the wonderful enhancement that is Shigeru’s vocal audio engineering! And now that I think about how I characterized this song’s POV character, I might’ve also subconsciously drawn influence from certain psychological elements utilized in Persona 5, elements involving some traumatized people, although I don’t think this guy in this song isn’t really someone we can call traumatized. Also, Reco being impressed by the final audio definitely helps my belief that he, Shig, and I were more in sync than we expected here! Now we’re talking, alright!

As for the illustration, I commissioned (and not spoiled so much, I think?) this guy who goes by Riichu. I remember first encountering him when he was streaming with Koneko Monsi, and I eventually noticed his pretty neat art and his availability for commissions. Again, I don’t think I solidly knew what sort of visuals I wanted, and I was picking based on options fresh in my short-term memory at the time. But then again, I was wanting some visual obscuring on the identity of this song’s POV character, and in hindsight, Riichu’s skill at drawing slender figures works real well with the character. Special mention also goes to how he went above and beyond with the coloring!

And then comes the video, where I tried to emulate the Midnight Channel and the TV World as much as I could. Older closed captions here, high-level fog there, reprinted ripped TV World entry transition, weird scenery changes, TV static, all that stuff. Shig also boosted my confidence in my work here, as he liked the “WHAT YOU WANNA SEE” part and the glitching character art part, and speaking of which, my favorite part about my video work here is the intro. Also, I think I finally learned how to work up the typing effect in AviUtl, which I flexed in the chorus!

Now, honestly, releasing this has been taking a lot out of me, and it’s stacking on my other stresses, which I think are mostly self-inflicted, also leading to this being uploaded later than I planned, but gosh dang, I am happy about this. I mean, it’s a more original song with higher production quality than what I’ve done before, and I enjoyed making it with my fellow artists! It’s even got me more motivated to make more full-on originals AND learn further about how to do business properly, despite and through stressful situations! And of course, I’d like to ask for honest constructive feedback, so yeah, gimme that!

Just Proud of You, Never Loving You

Yeah, this is basically Lisa the Tearer but without the tryharding at being a VTuber. And by that, I also mean that these videos will be more independent of each other. I was thinking of not having dedicated blog posts about these, too, but I think I’d be underselling myself like that, so yeah, here’s me with a commentary, especially for folks who bother to check this blog out.

Now, yes, I attempted to do a Devil roleplay monologue here as a Roman Catholic. This may not be the last attempt at such, too. In fact, it’s pretty much the core of my villainous roleplaying here. I’ve been wanting to write villain protagonists this evil as well, but I feel as if I cannot ever meaningfully portray such characters through plain prose writing, and I remember how I would enjoy going through memorable clips and quotes of popular characters, so stuff like that led me to tell stories starring these evil folks through roleplay monologues like this.

And why call someone the Devil if they aren’t some scumbag like the guy in the above portrayal? Some of us would think that the Devil’s side is just in bigotry done in the name of religion, while others would think that it’s just in activism done in the name of irreligion, but all of us are ignorant of how the Devil actually plays all sides for himself and himself alone. Yeah, if you thought wrapping your head around the most infamous criminals’ behaviors is hellish, trying that on the Devil’s behaviors is going to be, well, hell. It’s pretty much by the grace of God that we can understand and fight him, then. And if this roleplay does help someone out there be a truly good person, then chalk that up to Him and His hilariously awesome grace and not me and my unfortunately convincing acting.

As for more technical stuff, well, I had this wonderful illustrator named Syd, whom I first encountered through the KoMETA Virtual Live fan community, do the character art in the vid. I was looking for a more effeminate design, actually, but fortunately, my attempt at even more toxic masculinity was foiled, leading to that character art that looks a lot more like yours truly and his fat bastardry. Also, as I want folks to better understand what the heck I’m saying, I’m having them speeches transcribed in the videos. I’d like to be more stylish about it, though, so yeah, expect me to fumble around some more with that stuff.

Further plans for this sort of content? Well, I got two more scripts ready, and I’m planning to release once a month. Now, I’d like some honest constructive feedback, please.

Jin (Shizen no Teki-P) – ZIGI – TOB English Cover

Looking up what the title of this Jin song can mean, it appears that “mere child’s play” may be the most fitting, considering the song’s themes. But that doesn’t look and sound as cool as “ZIGI,” so yeah, I left it as is. Anyway, distinguishing this Allegories track further from the rest of Jin’s discography, especially considering “Yobanashi Deceive” and “Imaginary Reload” being similar to it, I’d say that, well, it’s the creepy one among Jin’s dark groovy tracks I’ve known so far. I think I’ll even call it my favorite among them thanks to how it depicts adulthood as childishness rather than just adulthood as the enemy of childhood. The video description hype line certainly helps, too, as it goes like “A child who deceives another child is called an ‘adult,'” which I certainly agree with, especially as a manchild. Still, I also tried to make the original’s English segments more understandable in my translyrics. You know they had to be fixed.

As for other fun things I had with the production of this cover, it also included my first vocal recording at my grandparents’ place. It went better than I thought, and/or Shigeru worked on my recordings better than I thought. However it went, the finished audio got me figuring out my sound better, and so I have big thanks to give. For one, funk might be more of an essential in my sound than I thought, you know? And yes, this cover also brings me back to my two attempts at covering “Yobanashi Deceive.” And I’m happy to have outdone the me that did those, alright.

Also, yes, I did include upside-down subtitles to match the original video’s. You like it?

Well, here’s the mp3 and the lyrics sheet of this cover if you liked it that much. Do remember to credit and link me if you’re using them, especially with honest constructive feedback to me.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – May 2022

And now, in Flexes You Don’t Need To Know But I’m Shoving Down Your Throats Because I’m A Redundancy That Is A Religious Poser: Glad to have this month getting me more used to going out again, especially through the Masses I’ve been attending in person, which have been mostly with my family and just recently by myself. And speaking of religious stuff, I’m surprised by how I’m progressing in trying to make more of a habit out of Confession and Communion along with that. I mean, yeah, I do want more of those properly, but it’s real easy to mess up, you know? If you want evidence of how easy it is, then my meme vids and my vlogs are probably more than enough to give you a good idea already. Though if you want some more (hopefully healthy) positivity about that, then you can check out these poems I posted this month as part of my poetry writing revival:

The third one feels a little too subtly religious for me to tag it as such, but I still hope I did well in drawing them religious influences into it as well. And while I’d like to say that writing poems with narratives isn’t new to me, I feel like it should be pointed out that the aforementioned poem is also more a fable than a reflection. Now, on to the next topic before I go even more TMI about my poems here.

Though we’re still not out of talking about this month’s verse work, for there’s still this month’s two English covers:

  1. a lyrical remix of Maarbble’s “Again again, and again”
  2. a translyricized take on Jin’s (Shizen no Teki-P) “MERMAID”

Yup, managed to upload two covers this month, alright. I think I’ll post at least one of those in the coming month, and I’ve also been itching to work up more holoPro English covers, especially holostars English covers, something that got more motivated by me getting into the boys’ music through their official Spotify playlist. And again, like whenever I try to sing K-Pop boy group songs I like, I found myself admiring the boys even more as I hit my limits my hard with a lot of the songs I’ve tried to practice singing so far. Oh, and speaking of holoPro covers, my “Ijimekko Bully” cover is now my YouTube Channel’s highest rated and third most viewed video. Like, wow, thanks? And it’s still high up on the results for what I consider relevant search keywords on YouTube. So, yeah, thanks very much again? Honestly, while I will not deny being a Dead Beat, especially a freaking gachikoi one, I expected my English translyrics to get more attention than something like that one cover, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by how weeby a lot of my fellow VTuber fans are.

Now, tangential jump to streaming stuff: I’ve done the most streams in a month this month, and before the month even started (and after the last monthly digest post), I managed to complete my killer7 stream series. I’m still a mostly invisible guy fumbling around, but hey, more progress, yeah? Also, in place of that, I did a one-shot stream of SUPERHOT and then started a stream series of Valkyria Chronicles. And the Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 2 stream series is still going, yes. And right now, I seem to stream most comfortably…late at night…and still guerrilla. And let it be known that I managed to stream as much as I did this month because I got more free time at my day job, which I don’t want to go on for too long unless I got some better day job opportunities and personal resource management skills close by.

And speaking of personal resource management skills, I really should get back to improving those, so yeah, asking for honest constructive feedback again, and may God Almighty keep on challenging and guiding us into becoming the good folks He wants us to be.

A Moment of Silence Today

A Moment of Silence Today

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo


We need a moment of silence
But we need to speak up
About issues about problems
About the news about gossip
About how somebody died
Through some words spoken
About some named person
Brought up with spikes through them
Hanging on their wood for love
Bearing no cross marking wrong
Answers, that’s all we want
As we leash our breaths up
For our research on silence
Which means death which means emptiness
Which means hell which means earth again
And again and again and I’ll gain
Knowledge that doubts the truths of the earth
Doubted with the restraint of heaven, I burn
Like Jesus, Mary, and Joseph in the cave
We sing of every December day.

Jin (Shizen no Teki-P) – MERMAID – TOB English Cover

Even while working on the subtitles for this cover, this song and its MV got me wanting to cry, and this is one of two Allegories tracks that I consider tearjerkers, the other being “FREAKS.” Like, dying’s already and always a pain (If it’s not you being in pain thanks to your dying, it’s someone who loves you who’s in pain there), but losing a loved one is arguably worse, and knowing that you’re in a situation where you’ll soon die after them doesn’t really help alleviate the pain that much. And making this song hit harder to me is how it’s about a couple, and I’m quite the sucker for romances. And now I’m further enjoying how Jin had his own vocals take center stage in the mini album, especially with how the songs and their themes better resonate with a mature human voice. I guess I can say that his discography ages and ages well with him every release, then!

As for the translyrics, yes, I also changed up the onomatopoeias. The original Japanese has “fuwa fuwa” and “hara hara,” while I bring you “ticking and tocking.” And basically, I think these translyrics feel lengthier and more sophisticated than the original Japanese, emphasizing the feeling of hammering the adultness of the persona onto your heads, while Jin is softer and more elegant about it with the help of what seems like simpler and more child-like writing to me, something I think is made easier to do by the Japanese language and its packing of a lot of meaning into a few syllables.

As for the audio engineering, which was done by Shigeru again, well, seems like we have another case where there’s a need to cut the bass on my main vocal. I guess I gotta keep that in mind for more delicate productions. Anyway, the lower range of my vocals here are more on the single harmony track here, something I’m glad to have worked up after listening closely to the original and knowing that I can handle something like this quite confidently now. Again, I love my higher range and how it’s improving, but lately, I’ve also been growing appreciation for my lower range and how it’s improving.

And I guess that’s it for this one. Here’s a link to this cover’s mp3, and here’s a link to this cover’s lyrics sheet. Please credit and link me if you’re using my stuff, okay? And I’d love it if you give me honest constructive feedback!

How The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Became Infamous

How The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Became Infamous

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo


When a certain wolf dressed up as a sheep
He attracted the shepherds who were gluttons for sleep
As they had found a charge that could actually charge
Against any wolves who wanted their parts
Even though the “sheep” had some wolfy spots
They thought that God had blessed their hearts
So they went on to get drunk and then sleep again
Until they found the fake eating a real one’s head
Though they waved it all off as a needed sacrifice
For such strength would come at a great price
Such as sheep that could not defend themselves
Much like the “sheep” that drove the wolves to the hills
But then again, the pasture now housed the kin
Wolves who followed suit and dressed like their new head
Whose head still hadn’t been eaten off
By real wolves that seemed already gone
So the shepherds went on to get drunk and then sleep even more
Until they had to tire to shear off some wool, of course
So the shepherds found real wolves underneath their clothes
And found that the wool was sheared for them before
So they found themselves sheared by the wolves
And the shepherds blushed forevermore.

Maarbble – Again again, and again – TOB Remix

Did another lyrical remix of an originally instrumental track by a creator I first met as a fellow fan through the VTuber scene. Last time, it was of Joshua Hartshorn’s “Faceless Entertainers,” and now, it’s Maarbble’s “Again again, and again.” Both tracks even have arts made by their respective composers! And both remixes have Shigeru involved, though this time, he worked on all the vocal audio engineering.

Anyway, this is a short and upbeat track I made really, well, weird with my lyrics, which I’d basically describe as an attempt to better stylishly express my current crushing. Like, there’s an attraction, but whether or not it’s the romance meant for me and her, I’d rather not pretend that it’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows, that I’ll be happy with everything about her, and that I’ll be a good guy all the time about my crushing and all that. I’d even want to say that she also has traits that piss me off, and that I’m very likely to react really improperly against them! Still, I’d love to love her, even if that love is meant to be just friendly love. And I think I’d love to write more lyrics about this sort of thing.

What do you think, though? I’d love to know, especially your honest constructive feedback. And hey, here’s this remix’s mp3, and here’s this remix’s lyrics sheet. Do credit and link me if you’re using my stuff, okay?

Jesus, King of the Problematic

Jesus, King of the Problematic

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo


Here lies Jesus, King of the Problematic
Called himself “The Chosen”
Jailed with the bigoted
Wouldn’t let go of the hopeless
Said he loved them all
Hated letting them hang without full fall

He could’ve been a good rainbow man
But he let Judas kiss him like that
He could’ve ended empires
But he made Herod and Pilate friends
He could’ve been a good Jew
But he let Hitler be born into our world
Why make our undeserved suffering even worse?

At least bigots hate him today
For such men, it’s the only exception we’ll make
If he resurrected, then he’s a cockroach
But even as he’s dead, his cultists still approach
As silent as he was accused
Worse than the calls of Cthulhu
But we’re not making a religion out of this.

Fires of Heaven

Fires of Heaven

a poem by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo for his dad’s birthday


May the fires of heaven burn away my sin
Through retribution, restoration, whatever means You wish.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames without mercy,
Flames You entrusted to us but we used to damn us sinners.

May the fires of heaven illuminate my path
Through the sun up above, a lamp in hand, whatever form You want.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames in vain,
Flames to make us guides but we used to drive astray.

May the fires of heaven warm my heart into virtue
Through a slow burn, a sudden surge, whatever way You will.
The fires of hell are heaven’s flames made proud,
Flames You shared to us but we shared without love.

May the fires of heaven burn and light and warm
Through anything and everything, as long as You want it done.
I am one of many fools who may turn them into hell’s,
But Your faith saves me, or I cannot save myself.