Behind Henchman Bars

Trump, Jong-un, Putin, Duterte
All of them? Man, they’re just henchmen
I’m a boss, they can’t control me
They’re just left to think they own me
Look What You Made Me Do’s pathetic
Sounding like Kanye so Famous
Taking shots so that means that
I’ll get fired back-to-back
Like waking Drake, where I’ll get burned
Shining just like his treasures
But that won’t send me up to Mars
‘Cause planet Earth needs better stars
Though what’s some better star up high
If ozone can’t go filter lights
Purple bruising up our skin
Cancer that will kill us, then
Like the Pauls who aren’t Saints
Satan’s not just flames and snakes
But those bros are still just henchmen
Who’s the master? I check this
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Fairest player of them all
Has a floating mask in green
For the old and jealous queens
Feeling like a middle child
Singing in a “charity”
“Follow your heart, it’s never wrong”
“Don’t listen to them, believe your own”
With that, I hope I can hold
A scalpel for when I go croak
Like Black Jack working on himself
But how much would the charge be, then?

Advertisements

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – July 2018

I think the lone post of this ending month says something about how I’ve gotten into the Danganronpa series again recently. Like, even being spoiled about it is making me wanna go through it more and more, and I also feel like pieces of it, if not all of it, can be the subject of academic discussions!

But if we’re gonna talk about everything else, which aren’t as prominent as that here, well, there’s school time coming and going, with that crash course Midyear term cleared well enough and a new Academic Year starting up…and this Academic Year shall be my last as an undergraduate university student, hopefully. Considering how I’ve been doing before, I can whip up work for school on time and with decent quality, but the bigger concerns I tend to have with classes are being on time for classes and participating in class discussions. I could blame travel obstacles on the road and bad behavior in my classmates, but then again, what’s worse than being unable to clean whatever mess is around us is choosing not to clean whatever mess is within us. So yeah, I better work up my will and get help from God Almighty for that as well, because I don’t know anyone or anything else that can make my fickle will more steadfast and well-directed, among many other ordinary improvements that are beginning to look more and more miraculous to me.

Also, I had quite a Midyear term with all that dancing. I think I’ll need to watch dance tutorials and have a more formal sense of it before trying to make up some moves of my own, though…

As for music, I have new stuff being cooked up with my random finger placements and looped instrument patterns. There’s also them rap remix lyrics, particularly for certain Vocaloid songs, and there’s also them lyrics for my original tracks. Song covers can suddenly pop up, too. And as I think about my taste in music, I seem to have quite an inclination towards pop, which is weird considering how I also have the urge to clown it. I guess I should study and practice music more, then. Perhaps doing so with other people, especially the more experienced ones, would be a bigger help, too.

As for writing…well, I remember communicating with a fan who sent me a private message over there at FanFiction.net because they were concerned about whether or not I was quitting working on my fanfics. Meanwhile, doing original works is something I’d be doing more for Creative Writing workshop classes right now, though I am considering putting the final versions of my final projects for those classes up here online as long as they’ve been submitted and graded already. Anyway, bottom line is that I’m more focused on IRL responsibilities right now, since I can’t work on my side projects if I can’t hold my core together right.

And speaking of my core, I still have struggles with avoiding world-shouldering. I’m not alone, though, considering the strangers, the figures, the acquaintances, the companions, and the loved ones I encounter everyday. I just need to stay in my zone, learn there, work there, and have faith as I do all that service with the best of my abilities. After all, I only have one role, and it’s not being God Almighty.

With that, I ask for honest constructive feedback yet again. God Almighty keep on helping us all.

Oh, and if you’re wondering about when my next updates will happen, these monthly update posts aside, then just remember that I’ll be doing it slow and sudden…which is pretty much the usual for me right now. So yeah.

Makoto Naegi, Dumb Luck, and Emotional Will

20180719225106_1

Hey there. Long time no post here again. I could’ve posted something like a poem with a reading, a fanfic chapter, a piece of music stuff, or one of my already submitted and graded Creative Writing projects, but then this happened, and it happened hard. Like, with how much nervousness I’ve been feeling over this, that might be saying something, no?

Now, I didn’t really think that I’d come to doing something like this again a few years after I tried to do reflections on the Kagerou Project, especially its anime, Mekakucity Actors. I hadn’t really felt like I could do something like that again, especially considering how I felt after attempts at some periodical reflection series or so. Perhaps I’m meant to be more sudden about posts like this, then? Well, there is the fact that I went straight into writing this right after the inspiration bolt struck, and there’s also how occasionally I post lately, so…yeah, hahaha~ XD

Still, it would require serious thinking, so there. Hours at least, if you want an idea about the time it would take, but even that minimum estimate is already real crazy, so…yeah.

Anyway, I’m now considering that set of reflections on KagePro a prototype for this series I’d like to call Superheroes vs God Almighty.

Now, as for how this will work, well, I have a bunch of favorite stories, see, fictional stories with heroes (and they can be outside the non-realist zone as well, since writing can make even the most ordinary heroes look super) beloved by a considerable number, though mostly niche in the bigger picture, and I’ve been observing myself and how I’ve been tending to view them with either the lens of cynical dung or the lens of naive roses. Like, they’re all imperfect stories, and I’ve been approaching them with imperfect criticism as well. Either the story only has bad guys in a gritty realist tale where problems can’t be solved right, or the story has good guys and bad guys with no in-betweens in some diabetes-inducing fairy tale where problems can be solved without proper order. They can seem like attempts to escape the traps of those two extremes, too, but they’re still stuck in that popular dichotomy I myself also tend to apply in their creation and criticism. That also makes me think that we are more focused on helping each other understand the sort of flawed human thinking we often find ourselves trapped in, so much that we tend to forget to think about making it more properly advanced. Or even though we do have a growing understanding of our flaws and continuous effort toward better change, there may be some important things we’ve been overlooking.

If you ask me about this, well, what I think we’re missing is God Almighty, be it through cutting Him out of the equation and/or misinterpreting His will, something that’s understandably tempting, considering today’s rehashed and recycled problems that pretty much stem from our imperfect hearts. I can understand the lack of faith from those who don’t believe, though, especially since us humans who claim to be faithful believers often struggle and fall short in actually acting like such. As for those who do try to believe and be faithful, it’s easy to say that we do understand what God wants from us, but then again, a lot of Jesus Christ’s fellow Jews back then, especially their leaders, weren’t really receptive of how He dined with sinners, among other things. And yes, even I’m still trying to figure out more about what He means even as I continue to practice my Roman Catholic faith.

And with the society I find myself in, I now find myself wanting to challenge my favorite stories, stories which align with my adventurous shounen and crazy seinen tastes that are held together by borderline fairy-tale optimism. You can call this blog post series of mine a journey of self-discovery in other aspects as well, so yeah, better keep in mind that I’m also an autistic heterosexual male Filipino young adult with kinda light skin and a suburban upbringing.

Now let’s start with one story I’ve been into once again and even deeper recently thanks to Steam and whimsy: Danganronpa. And it’s a series as well, I know, but for this one, I’ll focus on the first game alone, as it’s already interesting enough by itself. And I’ll be talking with NISA lingo, so yeah, if you’re not comfy with it, well, just remember that there’s likely to be a lot more uncomfortable stuff I’ll be talking about here.

Oh, and since I’ll be talking in-depth about this, HERE’S A SPOILER WARNING BEFORE A READ MORE CUT!

Continue reading

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – June 2018

I tried to sing DECO*27’s “Reversible Campaign” and reblogged a post by Mrs. Juneau about Pope Francis. That’s pretty much my list of posts for the month of June in the year 2018.

What have I been doing this June? Slowing my pace and focusing on more ordinary stuff to be able to make more extraordinary stuff. Still growing better at making friends online, too. Perhaps my calling also involves a considerable focus on Internet interaction, then?

And speaking of pace, them dance classes get a special mention. My body needs to get more used to such, though. I’m feeling more motivated to freestyle as exercise during the morning now…but only if I have a space where I can do so without causing too much of a disturbance. Looks like I better open my mind more, then.

Also, a few more weeks left ’til the Midyear Term ends. Better sharpen up my focus even more, then.

Oh, and I’ve been playing the first Danganronpa on Steam a lot more lately as well, along with reading fanfics of it again. I should take my recent gaming and reading sessions with all that as a reminder to schedule better, too.

Ah, and I’ve been managing to write more lyrics. Of course, recording them as audio is another matter. So is mixing, so is video-making, so is uploading, and so is sharing. And speaking of recording, I managed to record some freestyle raps, and research and experience are having me consider trying to freestyle slower so that my brain can learn how to work with my mouth better.

And speaking of my brain, I gotta get more sleep. Will show up suddenly again, probably with some piece of writing I said I’d post before, though you can expect me having more activity on social media, activity with worth I’ve been questioning lately for the sake of my good health. And I can expect your honest constructive feedback to show up suddenly, too, so yeah~

Anyway, God Almighty keep on helping us all.

Pope Francis Is Like A Canary in the Coal Mine

It’s a different brand of difficult out there, indeed, but God Almighty has been, still is, and will always be around. So yeah, God Almighty keep on helping us all.

joy of nine9

Pope Francis is like a canary in the coal mine, identifying toxic trends in our society, then, offering hope as he suggests Christian solutions to current issues.

The expression, a canary in the coal mine, is a saying which refers to caged canaries miners would bring with them into mine tunnels. These birds were used in Britain, right up until 1999 as a way to warn miners if gases like carbon monoxide collected in the mine. Noxious gas would kill a tiny canary before miners even knew they were in danger. Now the phrase, a canary in the coal mine,  alludes to someone whose sensitivity delivers early warnings to society. Our popes have often perceived subtle shifts away from gospel values before most of us even notice.

We are Like Frogs Sitting in Hot Water

Most people are too caught up in the details of the daily news cycle to…

View original post 1,440 more words

Tobby tried to sing “Reversible Campaign”

Say hello to the likely only post (monthly update post aside) of this month.

What am I up to right now, though? Spontaneous Tobbyworks and a crash-course midyear/summer term, yo.

Oh, and I feel like the high speed and pressure of this university term I’m going through influenced my decision to cover this hard and fast song by DECO*27. So yeah.

Also, I feel like my audio engineering sense has been improving recently. And yes, I’ve been getting feedback behind the scenes, but hey, more feedback from you peeps, both in quantity and quality (like, honest constructive, especially!), is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated~

Now, here’s the mp3.

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – May 2018

Although I call this ongoing and end-nearing two-week vacation (I chose to go for a summer term as well this year, see) a long vacation now, I’ve still been feeling more like taking it easy with the Tobbyworks. And hey, life outside Tobbyworks also has lots of fun, and Tobbyworks can give me as much struggles as IRL stuff does.

And speaking of IRL stuff, I got myself some above average overall grades for some of my Creative Writing classes, and the appreciation I’ve gotten for ’em from my loved ones has me feeling more like uploading them online sometime! Of course, the lessons learned from those classes are another main reason for that feeling boost!

As for my other writings as Tobby, well, they’re going slow but sure. The same can apply to my music works and whatever other creative stuff I put out here. Why I felt like reiterating that is because of a review on the FanFiction.net upload of that Fate fanfic of mine, “Crawling to the Dawn,” which made me chuckle because the reviewer thought I wouldn’t be updating it anymore due to the long wait I’ve been causing. Of course, as such a work, like a lot of my other works as Tobby so far, is pretty much a side project of mine, projects I work on while I’m not working on IRL stuff, so yeah, I don’t think it would be worth it for me to mope so much about causing such a long wait. I’ve been moping too much in my life already, and if it would mean losing some impatient followers, then alright. I’m sure them peeps can still find other ways to brighten up their days…and I’ll have to pray to God to make that more certain, too.

Speaking of music, though, I’ve managed to get some more guitar practice in again lately, although irregular and with a borrowed guitar. To be more specific, I’m learning how to play my own composition (a currently unfinished one) better. A lot of my favorite hits would have to wait until my fingers become more flexible and all that, hahaha…

And I suddenly remembered how I used to own a diary…which was filled with a lot of teenage angst. Welp, thank God very much that I’ve improved, then, hahaha! XD

Anyway, I only have poems and some music stuff uploaded for the month of May this year! Check all these out, yo:

Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated! \(^o^ )

Tobby’s Freestyle Rap Practice Compilation 5

I had headaches while making the first three freestyles, which were made in the same day (the fourth was made some weeks later), and I felt like I was really pushing my skills to the limit there.

Rest is still important, though, so yeah, better take care of myself better.

Also, I decided to rap over famous beats this time. Below is a list of the beats I freestyled over in the vid above:

  1. Drake – Hotline Bling
  2. Migos – Get Right Witcha
  3. Eminem – The Real Slim Shady
  4. Desiigner – Panda

I’ll have to warn you, though: PARENTAL ADVISORY – EXPLICIT CONTENT

I hope your parents are truly mature, though, kids.

Anyway, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated! \(*A*)/

ephemeral – TOB Vocal Arrange Cover

To be honest, this was delayed for some months due to visual production reasons, but hey, this is now here, and I’m feeling pretty confident about it!

…well, unless you’re talking about the illustration. I’m not sure if I ever grew up much with that…

Anyway, though I like how I got my lyrics flowing in terms of sound, how they flow in terms of ideas is something that probably needs more work, considering what I’ve learned in times like Poetry classes. As I’ve learned, I got skill with sound, but I tend to tell more than show when it comes to my ideas and messages and stuff.

And hey, I’d like to thank Isaac Owens very much for letting me write and record over his track! His work here makes me think of outer space, if you ask me!

Now, here’s a link to the lyrics sheet, and here’s a link to the mp3.

Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated! \(^o^ )

Suck It, Morning Rush

Today’s breakfast is Hotchix,
With spice and rice, so oiled and crisp
But there’s no lovely health, just a quick fix
Running on gut instincts
That bottled water will just swish.

My shoelaces unravel with telekinesis
That makes sense because of my raging
Which I threw out like garbage
But I took hold of that purple force
And said “Suck it, morning rush.”

I won’t skip away from the building
Even with no fire exit waiting
Because I still have more to learn
Like the many ways I can say “I love you”
Even while we’re stuck in a corner.

Even if this bracelet on my right wrist
Holds a bunch of roses always white,
With a crown of thorns, it’s still alike,
So I should bear it with humble breaths
So flow on, apologies and thanks.

Now let’s go take the next morning rush
And let it go suck all of our sun
While we beat it up with our loaded guts
‘Til it blows to send the light back up
So yeah, I’m back, my love.