A Cosplay Date at CosMania 2019

Apologies, I’ve been late with the most recent monthly update on this blog. I’ve been going through a lot.

For one, I resigned from my first job, which I was in for around a month. I realized that I’ve been betraying myself a lot by worrying too much about how I look to others and trying to be someone I can’t be, causing harmful confusion. The company I worked for certainly wasn’t a bad one, but the job just didn’t fit me, and I kept on denying it to myself. Remembering my promises about giving myself a break and more time for creative works after graduation also added to the pressure against my self-deception. Praise and thanks be to God very much for my former employers’ understanding and my peaceful exit, too.

Now I’m trying to give myself a break through a life at home. It seems to mostly require me being more assertive, which I’ve been fearing because of how thin the line between assertiveness and abuse is. That fear also makes it easier for me to loathe myself, which then makes loathing others easier, thus causing me to do what I’ve been fearing to my loved ones.

Thank God very much for having that struggle help me get me back to praying the Rosary, then. It’s a nice surprise to find myself appreciating the Joyful and Glorious Mysteries more despite and because of my distress. I also had a funny time with it: I found myself praying the Rosary once again after a very long while on a day that was meant not only for the Joyful Mysteries but also for the Feast of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary.

But before all that, there was a date I had with my girlfriend Pat. Like the last time we did so, we went to the first day of this year’s Cosplay Mania as a date. It was our second date at an anime convention, and my third visit to an anime convention (I blogged about the first here a few years ago, by the way). Most of the impact it had on the aforementioned significant happenings that followed came from after our leg-numbing walk in the event halls, when we found ourselves stuck in our worries about being far away from each other again, going back to more work and less sleep, staying safe through the night trips, and more. Of course, all that wouldn’t have been so striking without the fun times that came before that.

Said fun times also involved us going in cosplay, with Pat as Ayano Tateyama and I as Shintaro Kisaragi. We’ve managed to line up with the name of the event better! Continue reading “A Cosplay Date at CosMania 2019” →

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Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – August 2019

Only other post this month is a cover of kemu’s “Chikyuu Saigo no Kokuhaku wo,” yo. Not like it’s been an uneventful month, though.

For one, I’ve already begun working. To give you an idea, it’s an office job. Also, I can continue to build up my musical knowledge and taste via Spotify there.

And speaking of music, while practical production of original music continues to be slow, my habit of reading (mostly Pitchfork) music reviews continues to be stoked. It’s like going through university again, which means deep insights gained by facing the torturous human soul and then crawling back to God Almighty as I try to make some concrete goodness out of it all. Oh, and going back to the topic of work, I think I can make a friendship with my mentor there, as Pitchfork was the first name he asked about in response to when I told him about music reviews as an answer to his question about what I’ve been reading lately. Still, as much as I wish to be some bombastic charismatic, I have a hard time believing that every person that catches a modicum of my interest would be able to put up with my weirdness (and no, I don’t just mean that weirdness that those cliched hacks out there like to spit platitudes about).

Also, my blog’s six years old now. Never thought that this attempt at an online presence would last this long, alright. Still feeling ambitious, but I want caution to balance it out some more.

Speaking of writing, I’ve been doing more of that on my phone than I do on my computer. A bunch of short story drafts have been completed there, but I’ll need more motivation to work them into a desktop word processor. And as usual, I think I’ve been writing more disordered order fantasies than ordered human experiences, which reminds me of my need to have a writing group or something (and yes, that can also help in the seemingly easier study and practice of fanfiction writing, but of course, that would require a different bunch of people). Again, it’s hard for me to find people who’d kindly bother to put up with me and keep my eccentricities in check on a regular basis.

In the realm of gaming, I have already cleared the story mode of Devil May Cry 4. Among the things I’ve learned about myself there is that I suck in the School of Nero, especially in the Buster classes. As for mobile gaming, I continue to play Honkai Impact 3, which my girlfriend has gained more interest in (especially because of a certain newly playable younger sister figure voiced by Mai Nakahara in the Japanese dub) yet still cannot play due to phone storage priorities. On the other hand, Pat has been helping me get into BanG Dream!, and while phone storage priorities also keep me from having the game in my phone, I have become quite interested in the original music the franchise has (which I also decided to check out because of the awesome Vocaloid covers that the franchise has).

As for more breaktime stuff, I need to have a better sleep routine because of my job as well. And my job will likely end up having me posting as Tobby on weekends even more now, which means a likely schedule change for these this post series, though I think it’s a good thing for my blogging in general ’cause finally, I can have a more regular blogger schedule with that setup…or I would be even more irregular as I pick a weekend to produce and a weekend to post. But who knows, maybe I’ll find something better than those options as I go on with my young professional life.

So yeah, God Almighty keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him very much for the strength and the challenges again. Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated.

Tobby tried to sing “Chikyuu Saigo no Kokuhaku wo”

I have gotten myself a job recently. I’m also gonna have to wake up some time before the sun rises every weekday to catch a quick enough bus ride. There’s also the matter of some remaining required bureaucracy. Still, it’s a job I can handle, otherwise I wouldn’t be hired. So yeah, I gotta have faith. God Almighty keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him very much yet again for the strength and the challenges!

Anyway, before this holiday (National Heroes’ Day) ends and I go back to work and all that tomorrow, here’s something I cooked up during the past few weeks. I remember this song as a gruff close friend’s surprising favorite, and I think I understand what he means better now, too. For one, compared to other kemu songs, this feels very grown-up as much it feels very youthful.

Regarding the work on this cover, I have Pat to thank for help in getting the audio engineering right and Arikawa for noting my need to learn Japanese pronunciation better. And if there’s a part I particularly like, then it’s the last chorus.

Now, here’s the mp3.

Honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated!

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – July 2019

It was only yesterday when I realized that I forgot to write a digest post for the recently past month. Adding to the trouble was how it was the night before a morning with a job interview. Fortunately, my girlfriend helped me focus better again, and before I came back to this, I came in and out of the interview with a good amount of confidence! That, and I did the usual dishwashing. I think I’m getting a little more used to all those big piles of dirty dishes, too…

Anyway, what the heck was I up to last month? Oh yeah, July 2019 was a month when I managed to get back to writing original fiction (prompted, but still) and a Tobby’s Recommendation Yell! That, and I was also having fun with Devil May Cry games, particularly 3 and 4, both of them Special Edition (and my stylish action skills need a lot of polishing, though, so yeah, I better be chiller about it). And as you may have noticed already, I was also spending time looking for a job and prepping for that sort of stuff (and I praise and thank God Almighty very much for my parents and their help as well).

As for other things I’ve been doing, there’s a bunch of story drafts and review drafts that have been growing. Surprisingly, making music hasn’t been high up in my priorities lately. The same goes for writing fanfiction, more or less, though I still listen to music and read fanfiction pieces a lot. Also been feeling like playing video games more. Ah, and for better concentration, I removed social media apps from my phone.

Anything else? Well, I guess the rest are a bunch of things I’d rather be quiet about, either for now or for never.

So yeah, as usual, honest constructive feedback is highly encouraged and will be highly appreciated. God Almighty keep on helping us all!

Tobby’s Recommendation Yell: Circus-P’s 715

Tobby’s Recommendation Yell: Circus-P’s 715

edited by Pat/Burrito of Feels

Independently released on July 15, 2017, his twenty-second birthday, and covered by Sleppu’s drawing of Glacier, a winter-equipped child in pastel colors, it’s as if he revealed that, yes, 715 is the birth of the true Circus-P in all his vengefully scheming ringmaster glory, though with a deceptive appearance looking way more harmless than his horned and fox-eyed “Patches” persona. And no, “revelation” doesn’t sound as fitting as “birth,” as the former can’t make him sound as crazy as the latter can. Not only that, 715 is also his first completely English full-length. Has anyone in the Vocaloid scene even released an entirely English full-length before 715?

Continue reading “Tobby’s Recommendation Yell: Circus-P’s 715” →

Milestones, Turning Points, and Activity Updates – June 2019

Okay, nuts, I’m now officially graduated from university! And then I’ll be looking for a job after a month of rest! LIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Well, at least God Almighty’s around. May He keep on helping us all, and praise and thanks be to Him yet again.

Now, what the heck did I do during June…?

Oh yeah, there’s this new page on my blog. If you’re looking for big and official works I’ve been in, I made a more convenient spot for it. More to come in the future, yo.

I also posted a new chapter of Crawling to the Dawn. I’m also working up my plans for its future chapters. Outlines change a lot of things for the better, it seems…

Also, I reblogged a post from Nami. I knew about her thanks to my good ol’ friend Medieval, by the way. Oh, and I’m still gonna work up a certain cover of a certain BTS song. I should get to that sometime soon…

And speaking of song covers, I covered KIRA’s “Monster.” Also, I’m liking Vocaloid music in English more and more lately, so much that I’m really working on a review of a Vocaloid album from there.

As for other things, I’ve been getting more and more fun ideas to write down as short stories thanks to all that thesis work I went through. I should fit a good amount of writing time into my future routine, alright. I’ve been hearing God’s call a lot more clearly lately, see.

Also, I mentioned reviews a while ago, so yes, I’m gonna mention reviews again here. Actually, no, I’m gonna talk about reflections, though they’re also reviews, just not the “Yeah, speechlessly 10/10!” type. So yeah, Superheroes vs God Almighty is gonna get some more content in the near future.

Hmm, what else…oh yeah, music again. I’ve been making more originals lately. Having listened to a bunch of albums with Spotify and long bus trips helps me out there, too. That, and along with helping me review music better, reading music reviews has been helping me there as well.

Ah, and I’ve been getting inspiration to write poetry again! Making illustrations and recording readings are a different story now, though…

And I think I should spend more time with games to help me relax better, particularly more on my PC and less on my phone. That, and do chores and exercise. And be more forgiving.

Okay, I think that’s it for now. I need that honest constructive feedback, too. Oh, and I also need worthwhile job opportunities. So yeah.

Tobby tried to sing KIRA’s “MONSTER”

Now with more vocal layers! *w*

Also, yes, it’s a song cover uploaded some time after officially accomplishing my thesis! I’m excited for graduation now, alright! Praise and thanks be to God very much yet again!

Anyway, more about this cover, well, aside from the added vocal stuff, I’ve been playing around with loudness in mixing and mastering. I feel like it’s a lot more me now in terms of sound quality, hahaha~

Also, if this were performed live by an actual human being, then how the heck can breathing well be done while shifting from the pre-chorus to the chorus? Then again, that question also comes from a guy whose girlfriend told him about how he needs to improve on his breathing technique for singing…

And that’s that. Again, I ask for honest constructive feedback! Also, here’s the mp3.