Not in a Million Years

Not in a Million Years

a Devil May Cry fanfiction by The Overlord Bear

Summary: Somewhere in their prolonged journey back home from wrecking the Qliphoth, the twin half-human sons of Sparda end up finding and fighting…the twin half-angel sons of Sparda?


“Should’ve taken a left at…wherever that was.”

During another bout of kill count comparisons with Vergil, Dante decided to perform all his next kills with only Cavaliere Angelo in motorcycle form. And then bad luck decided to make the ground underneath him crumble.

The drop after that was very long, and he got knocked out. Dante hoped that he hadn’t been sleeping for so long like the time after his older twin’s separated demon half kicked his ass.

Still, that worry faded as he destroyed more demons in some wrecked city. Dante wasn’t sure about whether he was back in Redgrave City, particularly his and Vergil’s Redgrave City, considering how they somehow managed to enter alternate universes on their long (read: prolonged) way home.

“Girl, Dante looks as hot as ever!”

And then Dante couldn’t help feeling flattered as he heard his name and that description as he walked down a more populated street. Still, if he were more confident in communicating with full humans who weren’t his associates, anyone close to those associates, or Patty, then he would’ve hit on those ladies who just passed him by. That lack of confidence he had also helped him think that they were talking about this foreign world’s Dante, and that’s if that Dante was remotely a son of Sparda like him. Lots more people out there also had the name Dante, after all, and it’s not like only one Dante could be famous.

“But he has Kat,” the Dante of Redgrave then heard another one of those girls say.

“Maybe they’re really open people?” went another. “Still, why don’t we train to become demon hunters and freedom fighters first? We can’t just become that close to the Slayer of Mundus, you know?”

And that’s where Redgrave Dante’s interest was really piqued.

“Want me to get your idol’s attention for you, then, ladies?” he then asked, palms up and facing the chattering ladies.

Vergil would not claim that he was the slightest bit worried about his younger twin brother. Dante was the luckier son, after all. Still, the older twin couldn’t help feeling irritation at the separation from him, especially since Dante would incessantly complain about wanting to go home already from time to time, only to take the complaints back and ask for more, as the fool would say, “excessively overdue and overstacked brotherly bonding time.”

Adding to that complicated mix of emotions was how Vergil felt sort of relaxed at the solitude. He even felt fascination at the interdimensional travel opportunities that the Yamato opened, though he also felt guilt at what it cost to make that happen. Again, that made him want to talk with Dante about such things, even as it likely meant bickering over them.

Currently, the older son of Sparda was in some nonsensical world that seemed like a twisted dream dimension made out of geographical memories. He had entered through some glowing sigil he investigated in an abandoned warehouse of sorts, and while he knew where the still existing exit was, he was being held by his own curiosity at the moment.

You seem to be a devil, but not completely.”

So went a disembodied voice that heightened Vergil’s curiosity. Wherever it came from, Vergil could also sense that it was demonic…and angelic?

“So are you,” Vergil replied as he walked and looked around. “Unlike myself, you seem to give off something…holy? Then again, devils are fallen angels.”

“You flatter me, half-human.”

And then Vergil saw a figure that resembled him. Slicked-back hair, very long hair, imposing straight posture, and even a beautifully powerful katana.

“Still, are you here to offer services for the true good of humanity?” the doppelganger asked.

The Vergil of Redgrave already knew his answer to that question which oozed familiar yet unfamiliar presumption.

“I refuse.”

Steel then caused shock waves.

“So we got a big fan here, huh? Nice to meet you, then, Dante of Redgrave!”

So did the also white-haired Dante of Limbo declare, his girlfriend Kat standing in the distant crowd behind him. Redgrave found himself disappointed by how shy the hooded young lady looked, but he didn’t voice that thought out. He’d help fix that soon enough.

“Greetings to you too, Master Dante of Limbo,” Redgrave bowed, but raised his eyes with mischief. “Would your fair maiden like some extra class to her order of Dante?”

“Wow, someone’s cocky,” Limbo crossed his arms. “What’s next, you’re Nephilim as well?”

“Nephilim?” Redgrave straightened back up with a raised eyebrow and then a smile. “I’m half-devil, half-human, good sir. Now what’s your sword’s name?”

“Rebellion,” Limbo whipped out his sword, which seemed to turn into a literal whip as well.

Redgrave smirked and brought out his own. “Mine’s Rebellion too.” Then he blinked as he remembered something important. “Well, not anymore, though. Long story. As for this baby’s name…” He did some jumps and flips and swings and stabs with it. “Devil Sword Dante! Way more awesome, don’t you think?”

“For a narcissistic fop, sure,” Limbo snorted and smirked. “And what’s your father’s name?”

“Sparda,” Redgrave grinned harder. “Mother’s name is Eva, too, but as I’ve implied, she’s human. And you have an older twin named Vergil, right?”

Limbo’s face hardened, while the crowd around them broke into whispers when Redgrave mentioned Vergil.

“This guy sure is taking the fanboying too far…”

“More like attention-whoring.”

“Keep an eye on him. He might be one of that traitor’s trickier spies.”

Redgrave’s expression went serious too, feeling concern about what sort of Vergil this world had. And then Limbo raised a hand to quiet the crowd.

“He a giant dick too?” Limbo asked. “Also, mine’s younger.”

“Smaller, but he’s a changed man now,” Redgrave let out a little smile. “Still has to work out some issues with his son, too.”

And then Limbo’s eyes widened, while the crowd broke into whispers again. “Son?” Limbo parroted. “Your Vergil has a son?” He looked to the side. “Shit, what if he has a bastard…?”

“Then be the best uncle you can be for him,” Redgrave shrugged, planting his sword to the ground and mimicking his nephew’s revving motions for a personal laugh trip down memory lane. “Maybe you’ll even have it easier, considering how younger you look compared to this old man here.” And then he lifted his sword to his shoulder. “Now why don’t we have a little exhibition match? You don’t seem too bad, and I’m pretty curious about what this world’s Dante has compared to me.” Then he looked at the crowd. “Work the home field advantage on your idol, everyone!” he grinned and yelled at them. “This Dante’s gonna kick his ass!”

Limbo still frowned, but he took out his handguns. “Not if I kick yours first.”

Redgrave shouted “Trickster!” and moved as soon as he saw those guns pulled an inch out of their holsters.

Meanwhile, in the dream world version of the old Order hideout, Redgrave’s Vergil was frowning at Limbo’s Vergil. Redgrave’s would’ve had more appreciation for his opponent’s swordplay if Limbo’s didn’t bother with all that gunfire and subterfuge.

“How are you able to intercept my shots and traps? I am above even Nephilim!”

The man of Limbo was quite a pathetic sight, that man who even had the foolish fortune to be of the same name talking like he ruled over everything while hiding behind such underhanded trickery when faced with superior melee skills. And he even dared to utilize cages of Summoned Swords to help trigger cages of smaller bullets and webs of hidden mines, all of which were more annoying than threatening to the man of Redgrave, who had his own Summoned Swords along with senses sharp enough to take down those excuses for attacks.

And to taunt Limbo, Redgrave would limit himself to silently using Summoned Swords and Summoned Swords only. He could identify where the shamelessly hiding coward’s doppelgangers were, holding copies of what seemed to be an enslaved angelic gun as well. And even though he held little interest in firearms, Redgrave also pitied the living weapon, for its ricocheting and homing bullets were wasted on such a despicable wielder. Same went for the duplicated demonic bombs.

So to put them out of their misery immediately, the Vergil of Redgrave unleashed a storm of Summoned Swords upon the battlefield. No explosions occurred in response to that, though, nor did the Swords ever touch anything other than the building itself, meaning that the Vergil of Limbo had moved out of his hiding spot as he found his firearms and traps disabled.

Redgrave then turned around to parry a sneaking slash behind him.

“Have you no honor as a warrior?” Redgrave asked.

Limbo laughed. “You, a human-tainted demon, expect honor from your betters? Not like you would be able to expect much from me even if you were full demon or angel, though.”

“It seems that I’ve been assuming regarding how Mundus and myself are the worst beings I’ve met, then,” Redgrave chuckled back.

“Mundus?” Limbo raised an eyebrow. “I assume that yours was a petty weakling too?”

“Perhaps.” Then Redgrave blinked behind Limbo. “But arrogance makes one lower than such scum.”

Bolting and jolting slashes from Redgrave were parried by Limbo, but the latter staggered at the former’s stronger force.

Suddenly, Redgrave’s instincts rang loudly, and he activated his Sin Devil Trigger as a flash came out of Limbo.

“You got some interesting moves! Especially with those whips!”

The Dante of Redgrave could already see the fun he could make with a whip, especially while wearing Faust. Making enemies dance and go rodeo with him…Definitely fun times to be had!

“What the hell’s that bare-armed block you’re doing, though?” the Dante of Limbo pointed out. “If that’s a Dante thing, then I’ve really been missing out.”

“Oh, this?” Redgrave smirked as he flexed a bicep. “Royalguard Style, my punk doppelganger. Time it right, and you store all that attack energy thrown at you without taking any damage!”

“‘Store all that attack energy?'” Limbo parroted, and then his eyes narrowed. “Wait, don’t tell me…”

“Oh, I’ll be telling you!” Redgrave’s smirk grew wider as he charged unarmed. “Say hello to Royal Release!”

Limbo took out that ax – Arbiter, it was called – to clash, but he was still knocked away by Redgrave’s powerful burst of energy, which also brought the ax hurtling back towards Limbo. Fortunately, though, the ax thing was just a close call, with it having landed right beside Limbo’s face.

“Need some help there, buddy?” Redgrave walked to Limbo reached a hand out with a smile.

“You sure are strong for a narcissistic fop,” Limbo hissed as he took the hand and got pulled up. “And friendly.”

“Well, at least I can walk the talk, no?” Redgrave bowed again, but without raising his eyes this time. “And trust me, you haven’t even seen everything I’ve got yet.”

“I’m definitely feeling that,” Limbo sighed, standing beside Redgrave. “I guess I’m lucky that you’re not that bad.”

And then there was a strikingly loud explosion in the distance, an explosion that also caused tremors within the two Dantes’ battlefield. As Redgrave raised an eyebrow at that…

“Wait, that came from the old Order hideout!” he heard Limbo shout, and then Redgrave felt a glare at him. “You better come with me, fop! And stick close!”

Redgrave casually activated Sin Devil Trigger. “Can you fly, though?” he also said with raised arms and spread wings.

Limbo rolled his eyes. “What do you expect me to do? Ride piggyback?”

“Princess carry it is, then!” Redgrave declared, swooping away with Limbo and a laugh regardless of the punk doppelganger’s protests.


So did the Vergil of Redgrave utter as he turned his back to a fallen and fading Vergil of Limbo, the latter’s doppelganger disposed of by the former’s.

“And I thought that you became more worthy of battling me,” Redgrave added as he turned off his Devil Trigger and walked away.

“This world…is only filled with…foolish…scum…”

So were Limbo’s last words, but Redgrave did not dignify them with even a pause in his exit walk.

And then the remaining Vergil raised his sheathed sword to block an attack from a white-haired street rat that fell from the sky.

“Do I know you?” Redgrave’s Vergil asked back, also confused now.

“Wait, you’re not…” The street rat then threw himself off the clash and landed on his feet. “So you’re his Vergil?” he asked with a look over his shoulder.

“Yo, Vergil!” Redgrave’s Dante did a three-point landing as he deactivated his Sin Devil Trigger. “Wrecked the Vergil here?”

“That man was just a pathetic piece of dirt,” Vergil walked past his brother. “Furthermore, I shall have us return to our home world now, whether you like it or not.” He unsheathed the Yamato again and sliced the space in front of him to open a portal. “I am growing weary of these detours of yours.”

Redgrave’s Dante shrugged and smiled at that. “Alright. Still won’t stop me from annoying you, though!”

Vergil sighed and shook his head, and then he walked into the portal. His twin followed, but not without looking over his shoulder and winking at the Dante of Limbo.

When the portal vanished, the Dante of Limbo found Kat running towards him. “Wait, what!? How!?” she also shouted, skidding to a stop as she looked past her boyfriend.

Limbo’s Dante turned around to face where the two Vergils fought, only to find a totally demolished building. “Wish I knew…” Then he faced Kat again. “Now, we should really check if my dickhead younger brother knocked up some chicks…”

Speechless from all these bizarre occurrences, Kat just shook her head and followed her Dante around like usual. Though…

“Mind giving me some combat training, Dante?” Kat asked, taking her hood off. “I don’t want to feel like dead weight anymore, and I think it would put your skills to more use right now.”

“If you can handle my dick, then sure,” Limbo’s Dante grinned at his girlfriend.

Again, Kat rolled her eyes at this Dante. “And I’m going to teach you to have more class, whether you like it or not.”

Author’s Note: Someone has to have considered writing and maybe even already posted a Devil May Cry fanfic like this before, yeah? Oh, and FiendLurcher and “Right at the Qliphoth” also inspired this fanfic.

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