Jerking Jerks

Jerking Jerks

a prompted short story by The Overlord Bear

Prompt (from r/WritingPrompts): “The Superhero and villain are in a secret affair. They have to hide it in order to stay a part of their respective teams.”

In the middle of another strok – “CAMILLITE!”


“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Serenastra shied away for her best friend’s sake, her hair smoking once again. “I didn’t know you were having another long-distance session with your lovely man online!”

“D-Don’t worry, Serenasty!” Camillite called back with crackling and visible white breaths. “My new darling here is a…very patient man! Do you need some, uh…stress relief again? I mean, uh, you can join us! If you want!”

“Oh no, no!” Serenastra blushed, her hair becoming like bombed helicopter propellers with how she swung her head. “I can’t disturb the wells of well-deserved love between you two over there! I’m simply a selfish mistress taking advantage of your kindness!”

“What the hell is going on here?”

“NO!” Serenastra shrieked with her literally smoking hot body. “Priamile, you mustn’t open your eyes to this!”

“Serena, I know they’re having sex,” the blindfolded Priamile answered. “I can hear them from my room. Now get back to yours before you get Mr. Dick Cheesy down our asses again for property damage. I’m sure Camillite can get back to you later.”

“Okay…” the girl on fire put out, walking away with the blindfolded woman. “I’m sorry…”

As for Camillite…

Cam, can’t you just drop the act and come clean already?” said an echoing voice. “And no, pun most certainly NOT intended.”

Hey, I’m not THAT heartless!” Camillite echoed back, but with lips closed the whole time. “She could blow up the whole world if I don’t let her down lightly! You know I’m thinking about how to do it right, right?”

Sure, as if gaslighting the clumsy comubster won’t help blow up the whole world. Why am I in love with you, again?”

Because you’re into being real patient!” Camillite answered as he encased his naked form in thicker and foggier ice. “And I convinced you enough to have pity on me!”

My, it’s quite surprising that someone like you isn’t top brass over there right now. Then again, it’s also surprising how I’m top brass over here. You know what, I’ll give you three days to get it over with, and I don’t care what sort of explosion will happen with it.”

“I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE PATIENT, YOU IMITATOR OF THE UNDERAGED!” Camillite would’ve been heard screaming if not for the muffling made by his ice cocoon. “Ugh, you should be on our side instead, Dilemma…”

And you on ours, Cam. But I like this place. It gives me the most fun times to watch underlings squirm and grow. And I’m sure you like that place you’re living in, too. After all, it gives you the easiest chances to con a naive lady with a hot figure into sex, no?”

Camillite growled at his irritating secret lover. “I guess it doesn’t anymore…and it’s your fault…”

Dilemma chuckled. “Thank you very much, darling. But it’s not just mine. It’s also yours. Now come on, go confess the truth to Serenastra and keep her from calling too much of the wrath of Mr. Dick Chessy. As for me, I’ll be informing my underlings about your upcoming defection!”

“Wait, what – “ That buzzing in his brain cut off. “NO! Damn it!”

“Hi, Camillite.”


This time, it was Priamile who surprised him. And again, Camillite forgot about how sharp her hearing really was.

Author’s Note: As of this writing, I’m currently on a job hunt again, and I’m feeling some impatience about being jobless and struggling to find a fitting job for a longer time. At the very least, some other significant writing ventures have been making progress…

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