Humiliated with the Too Few Repentant

Humiliated with the Too Few Repentant

some insomniac musings by The Overlord Bear/Jem De Ocampo

When I think about Jesus’ sacrifice, I also feel like Abraham trying to convince the Father to not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.

You know what might be safer and more upright than asking God to not destroy some too sinful cities? Asking Him to not count Himself among those who’ll be hit by His own punishment. I mean, He doesn’t deserve the punishment, right? Why would He waste His time like that? Sure, He can bring Himself back, but wouldn’t doing something that stupid make His power seem less believable? Pride and all its assistants are practically the only way to the hearts of us fools, after all, and surely, He wouldn’t want to associate Himself with such things, right?

So I’d ask God to cut the self-harm because He has all these crowds following Him during His preaching work among His fellow Jews. I’d ask Him like how Abraham asked God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah. I bet He’d nod until the smallest number of repentant I’ll give him, which is one, a.k.a. myself, but still, I’d be confident because with that many following Him, He’d totally spare Himself from that stupid plan, right? And He can get replacements for us who truly follow Him, right?

Unfortunately, I know He’d still go on with that stupidity. And I know that He still would’ve done that stupidity even if He still had these crowds following Him. Even if He gave us the power to do the genius acts of ripping myself off our crosses and then whapping Roman soldiers with our limp arms, He’d still stay on that stupid cross and let Himself be mocked along with us. He can smite me and everyone else, but I know He won’t, and it wounds my pride, and I love it more than I like to admit.

I mean, really, good God Almighty kept His promise, and freaking efficiently too! We all get punished ‘cause we got too few repentant, but we’re such big geniuses at punishing ourselves, all that’s left for Him to do is ask us if we’d let Him redeem us His way or not. He isn’t even gonna force us to redemption if we don’t want it! He won’t even force us away from turning into salt, our favorite image of wrath today, in the face of our self-worship and self-loathing we’ve been treating as the healthiest things to do in our lives! And if He seems like He’s forcing us, it’s just our weak selves limiting His means to help us, our limiting spawned from our desire to show off. Like it or not, all those things we of the earth take pride in, our usual preferred ways of helping and being helped, are just nothing to He who can defeat us even at His weakest. He can do them all better than we ever can. But like those folks of His at Nazareth, we only see Him as stuff like a closeted sadomasochist of a carpenter trying to get easy clout by being a preacher to the stupider, someone who should be taking the divine punishment we think and know we deserve but also want to run away from.

And we got what we wanted and more, so much that it’s always right under our noses. We just don’t want to believe it, because hey, love and pride are the same thing, just like how salt is both a state of punishment and a means of blessing, right? God and the Devil are the same being, right? They’re all us true deities’ constructs we perfectly change the worth of, right? We’re just praising and complaining for the sake of it, right? Surely, He’d never associate with us despicable fools, right?

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